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Six months post-op+ : The Sophomores Thread



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I got sooo tickled this week with a consecutive series of the gentlemen in my life (the dentist, the car mechanic, the vet and furniture rep) that do not see me on a regular basis. None had seen me since my December 2018 sleeve. None could believe I was the same person! And, I kid you not, at the conclusion our appointments it was see you Cupcake; Cookie; Sweetie pie; and Gum drop! It would seem I am now a designated dessert. LOL. Ironic, as those were the very baked goods like cup cakes, Cookies and pie that got me in so much trouble. Not so much gum drops BUT certainly ice cream. By the way, my dentist is gorgeous and an avid tennis player (his wife passed of cancer a few years back) AND wishing I could introduce him to some of our beautiful single ladies here on The Sophomores Thread. ;]

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16 hours ago, Sophie7713 said:

By the way, my dentist is gorgeous and an avid tennis player (his wife passed of cancer a few years back) AND wishing I could introduce him to some of our beautiful single ladies here on The Sophomores Thread. ;]

Dooooooo eeeeeeet, Cupcake!!!

you-can-do-eeeet.jpg.b2bf90ef67f3f373fb8db94f3b4174bd.jpg

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16 hours ago, Sophie7713 said:

I got sooo tickled this week with a consecutive series of the gentlemen in my life (the dentist, the car mechanic, the vet and furniture rep) that do not see me on a regular basis. None had seen me since my December 2018 sleeve. None could believe I was the same person! And, I kid you not, at the conclusion our appointments it was see you Cupcake; Cookie; Sweetie pie; and Gum drop! It would seem I am now a designated dessert. LOL. Ironic, as those were the very baked goods like cup cakes, Cookies and pie that got me in so much trouble. Not so much gum drops BUT certainly ice cream. By the way, my dentist is gorgeous and an avid tennis player (his wife passed of cancer a few years back) AND wishing I could introduce him to some of our beautiful single ladies here on The Sophomores Thread. ;]

fdeeb47b7a90f29644355dab2e3e128a.jpg

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On 8/22/2019 at 10:02 PM, sideeye said:

I was on vacation last week, and at the end I casually mentioned it to my mom: “I think I’ve gained some weight, maybe two or three pounds” and she had this completely over-the-top, horrified reaction! Like, so ABSURDLY reactionary that I stopped in my tracks and turned to look at her, and she got all flustered trying to backtrack. It was so weird! I was unfazed when saying it, it was mostly just a casual observation, but her exclamation really blindsided me.

Now, the nutty thing is that I was right - 2.5 lb increase, based on total inactivity and steady booze/ice cream intake (no regrets!). This is a weird victory for me, both in that I am apparently familiar enough with my body at this point to be able to gauge weigh correctly just by gut feel, and that I felt absolutely no shame or guilt in the observation. But mom’s reaction was a strange blend - it reminded me that she did react constantly to anything related to my weight when I was fat, but the scale of the response was much more connected to a real horror of me reverting.

I love her to death, but yikes. And I think she was just as taken aback by her response as I was; she’d mostly stopped actively bugging me about weight a few years before surgery (she attended a psych lecture and during the presentation realized that all the “don’t do this” things around body image were things she’d done while raising me, and apparently had to leave mid-presentation and cry in the car). She was very careful after that, and then thrilled after surgery, so this was more like her behavior to teenage me suddenly popping up out of nowhere like a jack-in-the-box.

Anyone else seen weird throwback behavior from friends or relatives?

Woah... No not yet

but I never discuss my weight with anyone anymore.

How did it all turn out now that a few days have passed?

Edited by GreenTealael

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Just now, GreenTealael said:

Woah... No yet but I never discuss my weight with anyone anymore.

How did it all turn out now that a few days have passed?

Oh wow! Totally missed this post! :(

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7 hours ago, GreenTealael said:

Woah... No not yet

but I never discuss my weight with anyone anymore.

How did it all turn out now that a few days have passed?

Totally fine, it was actually fine in the moment - more than anything she shocked herself, I think she thought she was over that sort of knee-jerk reaction. But after a week of seeing me in summer clothing (both fitting into it and being completely nonchalant about it) I think she was on a satisfaction high and let down her guard a bit.

It’s weird, because many of our family and friends are so thrilled with our changes in huge, comprehensive ways, that the possibility of reversal can hit them hard and viscerally. It’s not just the weight - they panic about the personality change reversing too.

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Its been a while friends 💙 so I'm dropping a video here for your viewing pleasure. Let me know what you think about the content

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Has anyone else just eased into a life that makes you think “wait, this is what everyone else was experiencing all along”?

I don’t particularly track or restrict my diet, but I stop eating when I’ve had enough, which used to be unheard of for me. I can tell when I’m three pounds over or under my average weight just through body awareness, which again, I used not to be able to feel physically or predict. I’ve nailed the social interactions bit and no longer feel guilt for eating little or anger at splitting a check when my portion was much smaller (I see it as paying rent for the restaurant space and good conversation, rather than an exact percentage of food ingested). I can gauge food intake and plan for events almost unconsciously. When my coworkers order an Uber, there’s no weirdness around where I can sit, because I can be the third in the backseat and we can all still buckle up. i can sit in the middle, even. That constant mental calculation is gone, as is the paranoia when I catch someone looking at me, as is the constant obsessing about food.

I realize my experience isn’t everyone’s, but it really is like I broke a chemical addiction and am now experiencing life like the majority of people do. And it’s INSANE to think of the gap in understanding between people who are obese and people who never have been.

One side can’t understand how the other lacks an iota of understanding or sympathy, while the other side genuinely has NO IDEA and no life experience to remotely contextualize the reality of obesity, but THINK the human experience with food in general is universal and so feel comfortable basing their reaction on what they know. Like right now, in this moment, I can sympathize with some of my past tormentors who just said in exasperation “well, stop eating when you get full!”. Because for them, it was truly that simple. In fact, it was so alien to them to keep eating past that “full” trigger, so it seemed like anyone obese had to actively and obstinately keep pushing past that trigger deliberately. Hell, it’s easy for me NOW to obey that trigger, but it used to just be invisible.

I like this life much better. It’s easier, it’s mentally more healthy, I get a constant wash of approval from society for conforming. But it also constantly reaffirms that obesity is rarely a choice, should be treated as a disease, and society needs to shift to stop valorizing weight conformity as a sign of personal willpower and control.

Some people luck out with their factory setting when it comes to food. You don’t get a gold star for taking the easiest path and obeying your programming that happens to regulate caloric intake well, while the person whose factory setting has no “I’m full” switch and who also constantly gets bombarded with marketing messaging and economic incentives to eat large quantities of high-calorie food gets cast as some sort of slothful glutton.

Again: life now is good. But there aren’t many of us out there who have genuinely experienced both obesity and the factory-reset of bariatric surgery, and it’s surreal to realize how few people on either side of that divide know what the hell is happening here.

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@sideeye, I'm not there yet. I think I might need to track and weigh for the rest of my life. I'm cool with that, though. Good post.

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8 minutes ago, sideeye said:

Has anyone else just eased into a life that makes you think “wait, this is what everyone else was experiencing all along”?

I don’t particularly track or restrict my diet, but I stop eating when I’ve had enough, which used to be unheard of for me. I can tell when I’m three pounds over or under my average weight just through body awareness, which again, I used not to be able to feel physically or predict. I’ve nailed the social interactions bit and no longer feel guilt for eating little or anger at splitting a check when my portion was much smaller (I see it as paying rent for the restaurant space and good conversation, rather than an exact percentage of food ingested). I can gauge food intake and plan for events almost unconsciously. When my coworkers order an Uber, there’s no weirdness around where I can sit, because I can be the third in the backseat and we can all still buckle up. i can sit in the middle, even. That constant mental calculation is gone, as is the paranoia when I catch someone looking at me, as is the constant obsessing about food.

I realize my experience isn’t everyone’s, but it really is like I broke a chemical addiction and am now experiencing life like the majority of people do. And it’s INSANE to think of the gap in understanding between people who are obese and people who never have been.

One side can’t understand how the other lacks an iota of understanding or sympathy, while the other side genuinely has NO IDEA and no life experience to remotely contextualize the reality of obesity, but THINK the human experience with food in general is universal and so feel comfortable basing their reaction on what they know. Like right now, in this moment, I can sympathize with some of my past tormentors who just said in exasperation “well, stop eating when you get full!”. Because for them, it was truly that simple. In fact, it was so alien to them to keep eating past that “full” trigger, so it seemed like anyone obese had to actively and obstinately keep pushing past that trigger deliberately. Hell, it’s easy for me NOW to obey that trigger, but it used to just be invisible.

I like this life much better. It’s easier, it’s mentally more healthy, I get a constant wash of approval from society for conforming. But it also constantly reaffirms that obesity is rarely a choice, should be treated as a disease, and society needs to shift to stop valorizing weight conformity as a sign of personal willpower and control.

Some people luck out with their factory setting when it comes to food. You don’t get a gold star for taking the easiest path and obeying your programming that happens to regulate caloric intake well, while the person whose factory setting has no “I’m full” switch and who also constantly gets bombarded with marketing messaging and economic incentives to eat large quantities of high-calorie food gets cast as some sort of slothful glutton.

Again: life now is good. But there aren’t many of us out there who have genuinely experienced both obesity and the factory-reset of bariatric surgery, and it’s surreal to realize how few people on either side of that divide know what the hell is happening here.

You need to publish this as an op-ed somewhere. It spoke right to my heart.

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@sideeye Yes, so much yes!

Great example of why I have missed you being around.

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5 hours ago, Orchids&Dragons said:

You need to publish this as an op-ed somewhere. It spoke right to my heart.

i agree can we please have some more great content from you @sideeye (and others who have unique views?) IDC what platform I'd follow 💙

Edited by GreenTealael

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Dayum ditto. That's one awesome and insightful post. TY for sharing your reality and thoughts.

And thirdsies on missing you like hell and wishing you'd stick around and play for a while!

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