"Other " support sites

[elcee 3,341]

This is a rant and a rave.

Firstly I would like to say that I have always found the people here to be in the most part helpful and supportive. The same cannot be said for all other sites.

Some of the sanctimonious BS from some peeps is unreal.

Example

Wow reading this thread is depressing. So many people saying never to drink alcohol again. Absolutes ( never )are very hard to accept.

I got my band 9 years ago and was never told I had to give up alcohol. I enjoy a glass or 2 of wine a couple of times a week. Maybe I'm lucky I didn't become an alcoholic!

Now looking at revising to RNY so I understand that I am going to have to give that up, at least for the foreseeable future but I would hate to think that I could NEVER have a glass of wine again.

alcohol is pure sugar. The body uses that pure sugar to function instead of burning your stored fat for energy.

Maybe ifvyou had not used alcohol you would be at goal weight and not looking for a revision.

You are a perfect example of the truth of what those who are saying about alcohol use are saying.

Alcoholics and drug abusers in recovery use the never absolute every day. They have to, no other choice. Not using absolutes, like never is often just an excuse.

[elcee 3,341]

Apparently I'm the perfect example of why people shouldn't drink! I'd better get dressed and go and find my local AA now!

the most ironic thing is the user that posted this has herself had a revision!

[J San 1,071]

Those who live in glass houses......

[elcee 3,341]

I agree. I always try to be kind and helpful. I would certainly never turn round and say to someone that the reason they need a revision is because they drink so much!

There is always a degree of interpretation when things are posted on the net and sometimes things don't come across the way they are intended. I think it's pretty hard to misinterpret this though!

[summerset 5,261]

20 hours ago, elcee said:

Apparently I'm the perfect example of why people shouldn't drink! I'd better get dressed and go and find my local AA now!

Some people are self-righteous idiots you don't want to deal with in your life. It's as simple as that. On the internet it's quite easy to handle, plonk them and it's alright. Why should you want to deal with this sort of negativity?

Edited October 26, 2018 by summerset

[elcee 3,341]

I don't , thats why I hang out here and not there

[johnsons13 359]

I'm in AA and in the beginning I learned and I share this with my sponsees if NEVER seems too long, that's why we say "just for today" and you say it every day. If I go back to drinking and doing heroin I'll never see tomorrow eventually. The same goes with making changes now regarding my eating. We also say "progress not perfection". I'll never be perfect and as long as every day I'm doing what I need to in order to get better than I'm heading in the right direction. When someone gets upset to give up alcohol that they "only" have a couple of nights a week then something isn't right. Why is alcohol so important? food we need in order to live that's why I have to develop a healthy relationship with it. Alcohol and drugs I don't need to live.

[elcee 3,341]

There are lots of things that we don’t need to live but we have them anyway because we enjoy them . Imagine how boring life would be if we only had the things we needed.

[johnsons13 359]

It's also learning the difference in our needs and wants and prioritizing. Life would be boring if only our needs were met. But a lot of times we misunderstand a want for a need until we have to be without it and we realize that it was just a crutch all along. There's usually a replacement for everything. Sometimes it's a better replacement and sometimes it's a downgrade. It's not the destination but the journey.

[elcee 3,341]

If I said I enjoyed sex multiple times a week would that make me a nymphomaniac?

[johnsons13 359]

Some would say multiple times a week is a healthy amount of sex to desire. But sex is not a need to live. For procreation, yes. But a person will not die without sex. Once again, it's a want.

[Frustr8 7,886]

Gosh I think you're correct, I have been sexually continent for 6,5 years since Late Lamented shuffled off this mortal coil. Like to say it's because I'm picky, truth is : I am 72, obese, look 😫 tired and NOBODY has found me THAT appealing! Don't go many places besides grocery shopping, lawyer offices, doctor offices, creditors I can't pay online, occassional visits to JFS and church. Probably like the lady visiting her religious enity, walked in , choir singing Hallelujah, like me, marginally deaf, thought they were singing " Hardly Knew You:. got offended and left.
Would I "Mattress Mambo"? First, Someone Ask Me! I'm sure it's like dancing or bike ride-ing, once you get your rhythm back, you do FINE! So here I am in Central Ohio, begging to be comforted, cuddled or most anything that doesn't make too much noise or frighten the 🐎in the street. If you don't mind a good giggle, I'll even strip down, as I lose weight I am developing saggy flabby skin, but I am warm, breathing and an ornery disposition. Any dudes out there who aren't TOO FEARFUL OF 💓ATTACK OR STROKE? Hey👴or 👦, here I Be! 😝🎪🚩

[AJP 132]

Frustr8 I just loved you lol. Even with everything you're going through you still manage to find the humor

[Frustr8 7,886]

I try I try and I'm sure there are those who find me merely Trying! To Them- Pfft!

[ABawdyMermaid 70]

The person you quoted seemed very.. self-righteous, I guess that's the word? Not very nice, in any case. There's various ways they could have conveyed the same message without sounding so rude. I admit that I don't know much about any other WL support sites, as this is the first one I've come to (and thus far, everyone has been very kind!)

I also don't know much about RNY to be honest, as to the restrictions and such, but I know it's a surgery I will never go through with because it does limit you so much in ways that I personally cannot abide by. I have an addictive personality, not to drugs or alcohol (thankfully, but to food, and telling me 'no' makes things really difficult. Not to mention..

We have one life to live. I'm going to enjoy it as much as I can, though going forward, I'm going to *teach* myself how to enjoy it without ending up where I am right now (which is miserable and morbidly obese.)

I think what's key is just figuring out what works for you, when it comes to your 'wants' (like alcohol!) Just doing a very quick google search, it *seems* like you can eventually have alcohol again in very small quanitites post-bypass, but that you have to be careful given it can cause various problems. Just check with your doctor, be straight with them, and see what they say.

Also sorry that I started rambling.