Dealing with Co-Workers and Friends

[UncleBeezy 7]

Just curious as to how the rest of you guys handled the conversations about your WLS with co-workers and friends after returning to work. I’m inclined not to say much to anyone beforehand (except my wife and my best friend) but eventually I know my weight loss will become the elephant in the room at the Water cooler. I also work in public safety and the perception I get is that not many of my colleagues will understand or approve of my decision. Any tips?

[GreenTealael 24,657]

Try looking like you're on an "obvious diet" around everyone. (Keto/Paleo/Atkins/whole 30,etc) and completely embrace diet/excercise banter around them (it'll look like diet and exercise instead of surgery - if you are trying to hide it in plain sight)

It's what I do. I didn't want to tell anyone about surgery but the lifestyle changes I had no problem explaining.

Damn, just saw this was in the Guy's room... Can't delete

Sorry guys

Edited September 28, 2018 by GreenTealael
Posted in the Guy's room with I NEVER do

[BlueCrush 408]

I've embraced talking about the surgery AS PART of a lifestyle change. I've actually had a few coworkers pursue the surgery after seeing my success with it.

I'm not sure why some are so ashamed to discuss surgery. I see it as an opportunity to better educate people and perhaps help a few with their own struggles along the way. No shame in my game.

Edited September 29, 2018 by BlueCrush

[Deepseamariner 19]

Small minds discuss people.

pay them no mind. This is about you, your health, and your family.

If they choose to gossip, it says more about them than it does you.

[Jbi 1382 4]

I was straight up and just told everyone what I was doing and after everything was out on the table I actually had allot of support

[Matt Z 4,138]

On 9/29/2018 at 10:19 AM, Jbi 1382 said:

I was straight up and just told everyone what I was doing and after everything was out on the table I actually had allot of support

This is exactly what I did. I took control of the narrative from the get go. I've found being super open about it means less people can gossip because everyone already knows what's happening. And everyone has been crazy supportive.

[Ed_NW 684]

On 9/28/2018 at 3:56 PM, GreenTealael said:

Damn, just saw this was in the Guy's room... Can't delete

Sorry guys

AHHHHHH! WHERE'S MY TOWEL?? (hehe)

[Ed_NW 684]

On 9/29/2018 at 6:38 AM, Deepseamariner said:

Small minds discuss people.

pay them no mind. This is about you, your health, and your family.

If they choose to gossip, it says more about them than it does you.

[JohnnyCakes 593]

when people loosely ask or comment in a social situation about my weight loss and say "how?" i generally joke it off and say "tapeworm" or "crack" and that usually gets laughs and ends the conversation.

but if someone later pulls me aside and genuinely asks for advice, either because they have a weight problem or someone they know does, then i'll proudly tell them about my surgery and advocate for it for them too.

[Beardman 52]

I went with the truth minus the surgery information...high Protein, low carb, watching portions. Using a lot of Protein Shakes to balance my intake. Since i was doing this in the preop diet for 6 months no-one seemed to notice the dietary changes post op. I had my surgery over Christmas so everyone thought I was on vacation. Its almost been a year since surgery and no-one knows for sure. I'm sure some people probably think surgery but most people leave it alone. I just figure it nobody's business anyways. Now my friends are a different story, upfront with them as my wife also had surgery and told all her friends (mostly the spouses of my friends), lol. If any of my coworkers that had weight issues pulled me aside quietly and asked, I would discuss the surgery with them in detail. I just don't want to broadcast to the company at large.

[VIN_IN_AL 55]

On 9/28/2018 at 5:47 PM, UncleBeezy said:

I’m inclined not to say much to anyone beforehand

That is the exactly how I am handling co-workers. As far as people at work only my direct manager & HR representative know I am taking a leave of absence for "personal health reasons". They don't know its WLS related. Technically it's none of their business, as long as I follow current company procedures for requesting time off, in my case my time off will be FMLA with short term disability (STD), six weeks in total. The exact reason is not required by my employer but IS required by the company that handles our short-term disability program. I will have to produce a doctor's note stating I am able to resume my normal duties when returning from FMLA/STD leave, that will be no problem.

Obviously if I come back after 6 weeks and I have lost 50 pounds or more there will be some discussion about what happened and how I lost the weight. I am sure those discussions will be of a positive nature and any questionable opinions about WLS will be a mute point because the progress will speak for itself.

[VIKING 0424 1,105]

i told everyone if they want to talk let um was my thought dont care this is for me not them there has been two others that have followed me and are having great success as well in this small company of 50 employees

[arrivan 48]

I was 100% up straight and honest. I spent almost 9 months jumping through the insurance hoops and navigating the program. I found an amazing well of support from many of the people around me that continues to this day. I also found that being honest was one less emotional burden for me to carry around.

[JConforti 91]

I was very quiet about it before my surgery, and directly after but when the results became obvious I would tell ppl " Diet and exercise. If, as JohnnyCakes said, they pressed. I would have that conversation.

Now 3 years out I tell ppl "I had my stomach removed" and if they really want to know I have the conversation with them.

[CalGuy64 66]

I told anyone who asked. A few seem relieved as they had speculated that I was losing weight because I was sick.