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Dealing with Co-Workers and Friends



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I started this journey with a friend of mine that was also having surgery. Now her family has talked her out of it and she has convinced herself it is bad. So she either tries to talk me out of it or shuts me down when I tell her how I'm doing. It sucks but now I just dont say anything.

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A few of my friends and neighbors know and I've briefly discussed it with them, but that's about it. So far not a single coworker has said anything that I'm aware of. Now sure I don't see as many people with everything going on these days and while I don't plan on specifically bringing my surgery up I won't hesitate to talk about it if someone asks.

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I haven't had to say anything to my co-workers, since I have been locked down since March. I see them on TEAMS/Zoom calls and my face is noticeably thinner. One co-worker mentioned it and I said I was eating less and exercising more. We have a company meeting in the UK in January (assuming the world gets back to normal) and I expect to have this conversation then. I have a few months to prepare.

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Interesting. My surgery is the 29th of January, and I have been telling everyone. I've had a umbilical hernia for a long time, and i'm telling everyone I'm getting it fixed, and figured i might as well do the two-fer and get the sleeve as well. I wasn't going to tell my parents (just cuz i figured they would go on and on about it, i was right), but slipped up and mentioned a two week diet before the hernia surgery, and it gave it away. So now everyone knows. I'm thinking it will be better for everyone to know, rather than to think i'm sick.

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I was upfront and open to all my friends and family and from the beginning the level of support, both before and after WLS has been amazing. Most realize that WLS is a decision that will benefit my health. Immediately after, at times, I felt overwhelmed by the calls checking to see if I needed anything and offering to do everything from cook, bring me Soups or walk my dog. I think the decision to open up at the beginning was an important decision for my post surgery mental well being.

Edited by UGAPRRTHD
cleaning up my rambling

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On 12/18/2020 at 11:15 AM, UGAPRRTHD said:

I was upfront and open to all my friends and family and from the beginning the level of support, both before and after WLS has been amazing. Most realize that WLS is a decision that will benefit my health. Immediately after, at times, I felt overwhelmed by the calls checking to see if I needed anything and offering to do everything from cook, bring me Soups or walk my dog. I think the decision to open up at the beginning was an important decision for my post surgery mental well being.

I agree. I kept it quiet at first. Except from family. I just didn't want to answer 1000 questions. After surgery I told close friends and coworkers. I did it and own it. I pre answered a lot of the questions I thought folks might have, and it is working out well. Just moving on with my life.

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Try looking like you're on an "obvious diet" around everyone. (Keto/Paleo/Atkins/whole 30,etc) and completely embrace diet/excercise banter around them (it'll look like diet and exercise instead of surgery - if you are trying to hide it in plain sight)
It's what I do. I didn't want to tell anyone about surgery but the lifestyle changes I had no problem explaining.
Damn, just saw this was in the Guy's room... Can't delete
Sorry guys

Interesting. My surgery is the 29th of January, and I have been telling everyone. I've had a umbilical hernia for a long time, and i'm telling everyone I'm getting it fixed, and figured i might as well do the two-fer and get the sleeve as well. I wasn't going to tell my parents (just cuz i figured they would go on and on about it, i was right), but slipped up and mentioned a two week diet before the hernia surgery, and it gave it away. So now everyone knows. I'm thinking it will be better for everyone to know, rather than to think i'm sick.
My surgery is January 28th. I am going to have Gastric Bypass RNY. Good luck with your surgery.

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I have only told my husband. So far as work goes they know I took a two week vacation, which is true, we traveled to the city I was having my surgery in and rented a house. I was 100% by the time I came back so there wasn’t anything suspicious about that. We aren’t allowed to eat together due to Covid at work so nobody really sees what I eat.
I started dieting months before my surgery so I think a few people already know I was cutting carbs. Other than that, only like two people have even commented on my 83 lb weight loss. I’m fine with that, and if/when people actually do start commenting, I’m great at deflection. I’m a very private person and people already know I don’t share much.

There are a few people I’m close to that are very overweight as well, and if they ask how I did it I will be honest with them. They deserve to know in my opinion, because they have have actual questions about or interest in the surgery. Otherwise, my personal business is my own and I don’t owe anyone personal details of my life.

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I started this journey with a friend of mine that was also having surgery. Now her family has talked her out of it and she has convinced herself it is bad. So she either tries to talk me out of it or shuts me down when I tell her how I'm doing. It sucks but now I just dont say anything.

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I'm so sorry your friend decided against making a life changing choice....it is her loss! I am starting the journey with my twin brother...surgery scheduled in January. Please hang in there....you are making the right choice! She will regret her decision soon enough.

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I manage 8 people and I just told them why I was taking time off. I wear my heart on my sleeve in most cases anyway. Everyone was really supportive. They told me they were glad I was doing something for myself, which was nice to hear.

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This is what I did : Basically I lied to everyone except immediate family. ( I had a friend a few years ago that that had WLS and the talk behind his back was HORRIBLE!!! Never to his face !! Things like, took the easy way out, no motivation, weak minded, no self control, it will never work just wait and see, they actually took bets on how long till he would fail , and they watched and criticized his eating habits at lunch etc, etc, etc... Again Never to his face !!! People can be so chicken-sh...t.

What I did...Weeks before surgery I started complaining about digestive issues to all my co-workers, possible gall bladder issues , diverticulitis, constipation, ,etc... Told everyone i was going in for Gall bladder removal on a Tuesday and would be back Monday...Showed up Monday said "everything went as planned, but they fixed a few things while in there, hernia, removed small bowl obstruction etc.... Said" I really have to watch my diet closely over the next 4 weeks to heal properly". Then started talking about beginning a exercise regiment, walking etc... Then everyday I was bringing up my " morning walks etc....On pizza Wednesday--I grab a few pieces and then toss them out.. I mention how good the pizza was, but also I say " really don't want those digestive issues again"...So far almost 8 weeks out , NO issues and down almost 60 lbs.

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