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12 minutes ago, sarhgrif said:

I feel you, this whole “dating” thing is a lot of work, especially mentally. I’m down about 130 pounds and the confidence I feel is really high until I start considering a future. (Clothed, I feel I look amazing. Thinking of being with someone intimately scares me to death!)

You think there's a group discount for plastics? Lol we could all do it together

Hahaha

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On 10/25/2018 at 4:22 PM, xoxococojay said:

I would say skip online dating and have fun. You’ll meet some of the most amazing people unexpectedly just by doing hobbies you love. I accidentally met the love of my life after wls that way. I’m not against online dating or anything, i guess my suggestion would be- take some time to date your self instead of going into it with a full blown purpose if that makes sense. Who knows, you may even meet your match randomly at whole foods or the gym or something.

Sorry you’re going through that hun, view it as the right door closing and a better one about to open. 💖

Expert level advice right here!

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Dark room- good advice!
However it doesn’t seem to go that direction. Clearly I’m not a skinny person, clothed or unclothed, I just KNOW it’s not what they’re expecting. I also know some men may not mind, it’s much more a confidence issue with me!
Lights off, I’ll rock your world. Lights on, I’m timid and shy! 😂😂

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A little poem from my still obese-time youth
Not for us a totally empty larder***
We may not be as prevelant, but we GIRLS try harder!
I always thought scrawny and anorexic didn't look as attractive as gently rounded. 💇So go be your best YOU, rock yourself and I believe, the Right Person for you will come!

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16 minutes ago, sarhgrif said:

Dark room- good advice!
However it doesn’t seem to go that direction. Clearly I’m not a skinny person, clothed or unclothed, I just KNOW it’s not what they’re expecting. I also know some men may not mind, it’s much more a confidence issue with me!
Lights off, I’ll rock your world. Lights on, I’m timid and shy! 😂😂

You know confidence is built upon repetition and mastery of something. It can take upwards of 10000 hours to become a master at something. :) ;) That's a LOT of cardio "practice"! ;) Keep experimenting and growing and honing your craft and experience. Confidence is imminently attractive to guys!! :)

Edited by FluffyChix

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9 hours ago, GreenTealael said:

So... Friend zoned (I was the zoning committee, Just didn't feel quite right so I asked to remain friends for now)

BUT

I randomly meet two people out in the wild. The first one at a local food Co-op, the second while with Friends. I'm opt-in for door #2 I think...

This is work... I'm tiredt

You met men in the wild!?!? That doesn't even seem possible these days!

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6 minutes ago, sillykitty said:

You met men in the wild!?!? That doesn't even seem possible these days!

IKR!?!?!

I thought they were extinct. If only for pure anthropological research I must continue my observations ... What we do for the advancements of the Sciences

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1 hour ago, sarhgrif said:

Dark room- good advice!

Lights off, I’ll rock your world. Lights on, I’m timid and shy! 😂😂

I'm with @FluffyChix ... flattering lighting, and confidence!

Just rock his world a few times in the dark, or dim lighting, so you are comfortable and confident. Then once the lights come on, he'll already be thinking you're a sex goddess and he'll be crazy about every bit of you.

I'm speaking from experience .... just entered a relationship after losing 80 lbs (and losing nearly 20 more since), and before plastics. I hate the way I look naked, but he thinks I'm sexy af :P

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5 minutes ago, GreenTealael said:

IKR!?!?!

I thought they were extinct. If only for pure anthropological research I must continue my observations ... What we do for the advancements of the Sciences

The sacrifices we make .... :lol:

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4 minutes ago, sillykitty said:

I'm with @FluffyChix ... flattering lighting, and confidence!

Just rock his world a few times in the dark, or dim lighting, so you are comfortable and confident. Then once the lights come on, he'll already be thinking you're a sex goddess and he'll be crazy about every bit of you.

I'm speaking from experience .... just entered a relationship after losing 80 lbs (and losing nearly 20 more since), and before plastics. I hate the way I look naked, but he thinks I'm sexy af :P

That's because you are Sexy AF 😎

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1 hour ago, FluffyChix said:

You know confidence is built upon repetition and mastery of something. It can take upwards of 10000 hours to become a master at something. :) ;) That's a LOT of cardio "practice"! ;) Keep experimenting and growing and honing your craft and experience. Confidence is imminently attractive to guys!! :)

The Gladwell of cardio these days ... Observing, speculating and then just writing about 😂

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2 hours ago, xoxococojay said:

@greenTealael it’s been a min since i posted, how are you feeling now? I hope all is well.

I'm doing well, how about you?

Edited by GreenTealael

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On ‎10‎/‎2‎/‎2018 at 7:26 PM, GreenTealael said:

Worst date ever

FML

I'm sorry...I'm totally LOL at all your posts in this thread! Keep swimming girl :246_fish:

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On 11/8/2018 at 11:13 AM, GreenTealael said:

The Gladwell of cardio these days ... Observing, speculating and then just writing about 😂

Ok, but inquiring minds and all and in the spirit of observation, speculating, then writing about it...how far did you get in the cardio pursuit before friend-zoning? :D :rolleyes:

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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