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24 minutes ago, MissLindseyR said:

Thank you! I haven't had any more issues with it this week, but I did add in working out to my evenings to help fill those 'witching hours." Haha. I'm also still trying to learn my full feeling. But it is definitely a mind game. It's a hard one too. Thank you for your kind words.

Gosh it will probably always be a mind game for us. It's pretty much about "being in recovery." You can't wave a magic wand or scalpel and have all of the old programs, tapes, behaviors, emotions, thinking, history that contributed to our attendance at the obesity ball just disappear into a stardust poof of unicorn glitter. LOL. I honestly believe that once we're fat, we're always gonna be fat. So we have to use super smart hacks and strategies to outwit our fatheads. You know?

I just accept that today and for today only, I'm choosing to live in recovery. Tomorrow I will wake up and have to make the same commitment to a new day and a new day of healthy eating choices. And that does take constant attendance to be present and aware of food that I choose to put down my gullet. The good news though, is that the more your do it, the more "secondary" it becomes, so the new tapes and programs can run one step down in your subconscious. So it isn't as much of a daily grind.

There are people here who will argue with me about this "fact" -- that the rules don't apply to them. That they are somehow different and just cuz they got their gut operated on, they can now live "in moderation" lol. *snort* Sorry. But only time will tell all. And in 3 or 5 years, it will be interesting to see how the "living in moderation" folks are fairing with weight maintenance.

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7 minutes ago, FluffyChix said:

Gosh it will probably always be a mind game for us. It's pretty much about "being in recovery." You can't wave a magic wand or scalpel and have all of the old programs, tapes, behaviors, emotions, thinking, history that contributed to our attendance at the obesity ball just disappear into a stardust poof of unicorn glitter. LOL. I honestly believe that once we're fat, we're always gonna be fat. So we have to use super smart hacks and strategies to outwit our fatheads. You know?

I just accept that today and for today only, I'm choosing to live in recovery. Tomorrow I will wake up and have to make the same commitment to a new day and a new day of healthy eating choices. And that does take constant attendance to be present and aware of food that I choose to put down my gullet. The good news though, is that the more your do it, the more "secondary" it becomes, so the new tapes and programs can run one step down in your subconscious. So it isn't as much of a daily grind.

There are people here who will argue with me about this "fact" -- that the rules don't apply to them. That they are somehow different and just cuz they got their gut operated on, they can now live "in moderation" lol. *snort* Sorry. But only time will tell all. And in 3 or 5 years, it will be interesting to see how the "living in moderation" folks are fairing with weight maintenance.

Yeah, I can't do moderation, I know if I have a bite of Pasta, I will over do it and not look back. If I want this to work, I have to limit what foods I allow and this is probably forever. I agree with you, we will always be in recovery and I'm pretty sure I'll always be fat, even if just mentally. It took 30 years to get me to the size I was preop, you can't just erase that. Granted, it was a lot of childhood trauma and such, and I'm much happier and heck even safer than as a child, but that damage was done and I'm trying to recover and just be a better and healthier person for my family. I will say it is hard with having two younger girls, I allow them treats and such, I just don't eat them along side them now. Speaking of, they put a Cinnabun in our mall, OMG! I'm so glad smells don't have calories because that's all I do, just take in the smells. haha. See, still a fat kid!

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7 minutes ago, MissLindseyR said:

Yeah, I can't do moderation, I know if I have a bite of Pasta, I will over do it and not look back. If I want this to work, I have to limit what foods I allow and this is probably forever. I agree with you, we will always be in recovery and I'm pretty sure I'll always be fat, even if just mentally. It took 30 years to get me to the size I was preop, you can't just erase that. Granted, it was a lot of childhood trauma and such, and I'm much happier and heck even safer than as a child, but that damage was done and I'm trying to recover and just be a better and healthier person for my family. I will say it is hard with having two younger girls, I allow them treats and such, I just don't eat them along side them now. Speaking of, they put a Cinnabun in our mall, OMG! I'm so glad smells don't have calories because that's all I do, just take in the smells. haha. See, still a fat kid!

hahahaaha at CB. The b*****s! LOL.

Yes, I would love to be wrong on my theory. I might be. Who knows, we're all so blessedly unique! You know? I just know from the past 18 months that I've spent reading and researching, the vet-peeps who maintain or efficiently and precisely deal with any regain issues they have do so because they are ever-present of their reality and how easy it will always be to pack on the pounds and so they are continually working on staying healthy and trained. And they do that by weighing, tracking food, planning food, and evaluating if their eating and exercise and lifestyle are all in check and working for them. Or so it seems. :)

By the way, I didn't make this stuff up. It comes from MDs and PhDs, and published studies that say once you've gotten into metabolic derangement and have the extra fat cells on your body--especially to the level of MO, you will never again be able to behave as if you are a normal weight person without suffering regain. And keeping the weight off is almost super-herculean in nature due to the hormonal stress and influence those extra fat cells exert on our bodies. So honestly, because we ever were MO, our bodies do not operate under the same laws that govern a naturally thin person.

Edited by FluffyChix

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14 minutes ago, FluffyChix said:

hahahaaha at CB. The b*****s! LOL.

Yes, I would love to be wrong on my theory. I might be. Who knows, we're all so blessedly unique! You know? I just know from the past 18 months that I've spent reading and researching, the vet-peeps who maintain or efficiently and precisely deal with any regain issues they have do so because they are ever-present of their reality and how easy it will always be to pack on the pounds and so they are continually working on staying healthy and trained. And they do that by weighing, tracking food, planning food, and evaluating if their eating and exercise and lifestyle are all in check and working for them. Or so it seems. :)

By the way, I didn't make this stuff up. It comes from MDs and PhDs, and published studies that say once you've gotten into metabolic derangement and have the extra fat cells on your body--especially to the level of MO, you will never again be able to behave as if you are a normal weight person without suffering regain. And keeping the weight off is almost super-herculean in nature due to the hormonal stress and influence those extra fat cells exert on our bodies. So honestly, because we ever were MO, our bodies do not operate under the same laws that govern a naturally thin person.

That's so crazy. I've always been told we never loose our fat cells, they just shrink. So it makes perfect sense. I follow a few ladies that are a couple of years out of surgery and they still track, work out, meal plan, all the things we do today. I track my food everyday. I have to, or I'll over eat, even with my new stomach. I have to see those calories. I also wear a fit bit to see how many calories I burn in a day to know I'm in a deficit. It's hard, but it's the new way of life in order to stay healthy. My sister in law told me she could not do what I did, surgery wise, because she loves food. I told her it's hard, but I love being able to walk without being out of breath, and chase my 2 year old at the park. The benefits out weight the food I'm missing. But honestly, their are so many other options now with everyone going keto or low carb. I made Protein brownies a couple of week ago, the girls loved them. But even with that, I have to make sure I have 1....not 5 or 6.

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I struggle with wanting to eat more in the evenings and also with the frustration that I can't just be a normal person who can eat normal quantities of food and maintain a healthy weight. I really appreciate this post and reading all of the responses--feel less alone. I worry about keeping this up for the rest of my life but also know that I so very much value my new physical mobility and being able to be "in life" in ways I couldn't be before and hope that that will be enough to keep me going.

Edited by brightfaith

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Someone here coined the phrase that this isn't "weight loss surgery." This is "weight maintenance" surgery. Cuz although it's hard, this surgery still makes it easier for us to maintain our new weights, because of how it affects our metabolisms, and also how it alters other biochemical and mechanical systems. But I don't feel it's a slam dunk. Even now, I can gain weight without having to do a whole lot of food gyrations. I'm only 6 months out.

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8 minutes ago, brightfaith said:

I struggle with wanting to eat more in the evenings and also with the frustration that I can't just be a normal person who can eat normal quantities of food and maintain a healthy weight. I really appreciate this post and reading all of the responses--feel less alone. I worry about keeping this up for the rest of my life but also know that I so very much value my new physical mobility and being able to be "in life" in ways I couldn't be before and hope that that will be enough to keep me going.

I feel you. Evenings get me, I'm learning to fill them with other things though. I could say I don't sit and watch tv, but that's a lie. I have a full time job and I'm a mom and soon to be wife, so sometimes I just want to turn my brain off and watch tv. But I have to limit it and try to keep busy, like I'll do laundry and tv. It seems if my hands are kinda busy then I don't snack. It's sad but it's what I have to do. It's crazy to think this is what we have to do the rest of our lives! But we did pick this decision and if you were like me, the benefits of being able to do more out weight the food. So the fair will be here next weekend. Last time I went, a few years ago, I was hot, sweaty, large, and just ate all the foods. I'm excited to actually take the girls. I used my weight as an excuse for not doing stuff with them. It hindered their lives, I feel horrible about it. But I don't get near as hot or out of breath so we do more!!! They love it, I love it, and it's ok that I won't have a funnel cake.

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12 minutes ago, FluffyChix said:

Someone here coined the phrase that this isn't "weight loss surgery." This is "weight maintenance" surgery. Cuz although it's hard, this surgery still makes it easier for us to maintain our new weights, because of how it affects our metabolisms, and also how it alters other biochemical and mechanical systems. But I don't feel it's a slam dunk. Even now, I can gain weight without having to do a whole lot of food gyrations. I'm only 6 months out.

I agree!! When I was 3 weeks out, my surgery office allowed mashed potatoes. Well I ate those potatoes, and I gained weight! At 3 weeks!!! I stalled for 3 weeks as well, we realized I couldn't have the mashed potatoes. Even though I ate like 200 calories, my body still held on to them and gained weight. I realized then that even though I have had this surgery, I still have to work at it. I will not be able to eat whatever and lose weight. To this day, I'm scared of mashed potatoes haha!

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On 8/28/2018 at 10:45 AM, skinnylife said:

Those old behavior made you feel better in the moment. May be why you feel a bit sad to let them go.

All of us have behaviors to overcome to be successful long term. The good thing is you recognized you are stress /emotional eating. The next step is finding another way to cope without food. I'm sure there are many here that can give you ideas on what they do to cope. An option is to speak with a counselor/therapist.

Ways I cope:

Keep busy. I know the feelings will pass. It helps keep my mind off food.

Listing to music and going for a walk. I process mystress/ emotions while I exercise. Confronting life's issues has worked better for me than soothing them with food.

Hope you find what works for you.

Some things you may already know

Healthy snacking or more frequent meals that keep your calories and macros in weight loss range is fine.

Be mindful if you see yourself grazing. It's a common reason why people gain after surgery.

"Grazing" is a maladaptive repetitive eating pattern. Eating more frequent/ repetitive meals that put you over your calorie and macro goals. This can be a combination of healthy and unhealthy food choices. It is easy to eat substantial calories and gain weight. It's as if you never had surgery.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5748772/

I think this is why I'm hesitant to even go through the process of WLS. I have my first consult in a couple weeks and if I'm still struggling with cravings after wls, I'm going to struggle with this, big time.

I know it's a complete change in behavior, but I am very much scared that this will be a waste of time and money for me, not to mention all the "I told you so's" i'm going to get after I fail. I'm very weak when it comes to coping tools, I have an alter-ego (I'm not crazy, I swear) that likes to sabotage me. How many people actually lose their cravings by having wls vs how many don't and struggle with this beyond? I've read a lot here and I'm seeing both. How do I know if it's worth it for me?

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2 minutes ago, PENGU1N said:

I think this is why I'm hesitant to even go through the process of WLS. I have my first consult in a couple weeks and if I'm still struggling with cravings after wls, I'm going to struggle with this, big time.

I know it's a complete change in behavior, but I am very much scared that this will be a waste of time and money for me, not to mention all the "I told you so's" i'm going to get after I fail. I'm very weak when it comes to coping tools, I have an alter-ego (I'm not crazy, I swear) that likes to sabotage me. How many people actually lose their cravings by having wls vs how many don't and struggle with this beyond? I've read a lot here and I'm seeing both. How do I know if it's worth it for me?

My insurance had me do a 6 months monitored diet. During the time, I exercised and ate the best I could. I also went back and forth constantly on if I wanted the surgery. I knew though that my efforts could be even greater if I had it. I was willing to give it try. Some people do regain, it happens. But you will always have this tool. Even if you have the surgery or not, you will have to continue to work for what you want. The surgery just assists you. It's all very personal though. I did a lot of reading and pros and cons. But I had almost 8 months total before my surgery day to really think it all through. I do not regret my surgery one bit, even with the struggles I've faced. I had two days of wanting to binge this week, but other than that, the rest of the week I've been great, and today will be my third gym day. Those other moments outweigh the two days of bingeing thoughts.

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9 hours ago, PENGU1N said:

I think this is why I'm hesitant to even go through the process of WLS. I have my first consult in a couple weeks and if I'm still struggling with cravings after wls, I'm going to struggle with this, big time.

I know it's a complete change in behavior, but I am very much scared that this will be a waste of time and money for me, not to mention all the "I told you so's" i'm going to get after I fail. I'm very weak when it comes to coping tools, I have an alter-ego (I'm not crazy, I swear) that likes to sabotage me. How many people actually lose their cravings by having wls vs how many don't and struggle with this beyond? I've read a lot here and I'm seeing both. How do I know if it's worth it for me?

Cravings and hunger will be there with or without WLS. Some have reduced physical and head hunger (me, most days), but others don't.

But just because WLS isn't a magic wand, doesn't mean we shouldn't go through with it. It is a powerful tool. For me, I have never lost weight so fast and so easily. It's not easy, but it's easier than any other diet I've been on.

What's the alternative? Remain overweight? Yo-yo dieting?

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^^^This. It's an important point.

What's the alternative?

You keep doing the same thing over and over and over again that has always failed in the past, and expect "this time to be different."

It's a sobering thought and process to get to the answer of weight loss surgery. I had to release a lot of pride in order to admit to myself that I needed help. And as Kitty and others have said, the surgery is just one of the tools that we receive from the process of WLS and life-after-WLS.

If I had it to do all over again, I would do it in a heartbeat (cept I would ask for a tum as tiny as Kitty's)--only I wouldn't have dic*ed around for 2 years wasting precious time. I woulda just leapt into it and got-her-done!

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I’m starting to do this now. I just thought it was me. Glad to hear others r going through it. To stop I keep saying yo myself that I don’t want to go backwards.

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First post for me on this great forum and perfect topic for me right now! I had my first consult for a sleeve a week ago and am working on weight loss before my next appointment on 10/5. At first all was well then my beast roared awake and stomping!! I have not lost weight and am eating like a starving fool. Great ideas here—I’m going to start with planning and tracking calories. And walking. It is so crazy, this addiction, and at 67 I am OVER having it run my life, wreck my joints, etc. So there & thanks for great ideas.

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I am 72,have lost over 15 pounds in August alone on my liver shrinking diet, will be having RNY surgery on September 5th. And I am a sluggish loser of weight so it truly can be done. Age is no barrier to success! If I can do it,others can too.😝🌈😝

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