Hi All, Thanks for taking time from your busy day to read this and maybe help a fellow sleever out!

Quick facts I am FEMALE, almost 4 years out from Surgery Sept 2014

Highest weight 347 - lowest thus far 234

currently 297 (fully clothed heavy clothes on phone/key ect.. in pocket at work tonight)

Here I stand at work saying to myself - your almost at 4 years post op - never made goal and have had a 63lb regain whilst saying WTF is wrong with you in my head!

Can I blame 1 other soul NO, it is my fault and solely my fault alone. No one has forced me to graze, or eat items off plan. I allowed the stresses of life to effect me that I somehow YO-YO'd myself to my present state! I was an emotional eater before this journey started and counseling helped greatly. This being said I am taking full charge and abruptly and radically changing everything back to the simple basics. My new health insurance will start on the 20th and the first thing I am going to be seeking is psychotherapy to assist in figuring out ALL MY TRIGGERS; not just the ones I know and can steer from easily. The hard ones that have me eating things absent minded that I don't even know I have ate the item till its gone!

One thing I am fairly certain of is I have not stretched my sleeve out, as if I try to eat to much I completely feel it, and I will get a sick feeling! So despite my piss poor choices and personal planning, I haven't gorged myself to stretch my sleeve. Of course some things go down easier and in greater quantity than I should consume, but alas that is my reason to halt this madness.

The last 2 years have been beyond a roller coaster of emotions with things changing from bad to worse to horrid to acceptable and back again a few times...Nothing I have gone through I wish upon NO ONE EVER! That said I put in a order for my favorite Protein Shake (mixes with Water perfectly and tastes insanely too good), gotten all my Vitamins sorted and will jump to the store to pick up everything else I need to start the full on liquid 30 day pre-op diet I had to do before surgery. I think this is the BEST possible way to reset my mind, actions and allow me the time to get help for therapy along with I hope new friends here to help me along the way by merely listening and offering the advice they can, as I will openly accept all advice!

My Husband recently got me a Cybex 8000 Arc Trainer (i posted a picture of my baby below) - the one piece of gym equipment that I would stay on at the gym for 2-3 hours prior to and just after surgery when cleared to work out! This has me completely wanting to be on it all the time but with the regain every ounce of my body is revolting, and my asthma has started again and that is something that drastically reduced itself when I was 245 and lower! So I plan to start back at 20 min - 2 times a day and grow from there.

My main purpose for this tireless rant is I need those who have had regains advise and or empathy. Though I know I am NOT the only person in the world to face this issue, it feels as such! To make matters worse I am my own worst enemy when it comes to self loathing and bashing so any camaraderie will be a huge blessing to me.

If anyone else has NEVER reached GOAL, FALLEN off track, somehow picked them self up and got it right the second time, please reach out!

I am at the point I am looking at myself as a complete and utter failure for the lack of follow through!

HELP ME!

~ChunkyChicTrying

Edited August 16, 20187 yr by ChunkyChicTrying

Hi. I haven’t posted here in probably over a year or so but I came here looking for a post like this because I can relate completely. Same circumstances with me. I find what helps me is mindfulness and support from others. The more I have others checking in, the more it reminds me to stay mindful. I’d welcome a few others who want to be a support team for each other and I’d be up for doing it they MyFitnessPal. Chunky, I’ll PM you. Thanks

Just wanted to let you know how much I appreciated this thread. I got VSG in 2012, and like others, the weight FLEW off. I quickly lost about 50 lbs and in the 6(!?!?) years since, have gained 35 of it back. I never addressed the mental issues enough, similar to a few posters on this thread. I didn't mentally address why I turn to food for comfort, stress, you name it, and after you're able to eat more after year 1 or 2, the habits just crept back and here we are.

The post-surgery glow of physically not being able to eat as much quickly goes away, and I'm so determined to redo this.

Would love to support you and anyone else who has also regained to be in it, and accountable, together.

So glad to have read this thread. So grateful for your candid heartfelt posting Birdie. My take away from this is yes, I’ve had the surgery (Aug 23 2018) and I’m hearing that I need counselling and a support group. I will see what is available here in Calgary.

@Lynn Cannon Thank you! So smart to do that early, now, and while you are on a great wave of loss! I’m excited for you.

Tbh, looking back - I wish I had selected a hospital that had a more robust and consistent support staff beyond just the qualifications of the l surgeon and that included the nutritionist and support group. I know now that there were other hospitals that offered stronger support staff and programs and I underestimated how 360 of an assessment it really requires. I’m sure all of us have had years, if not lifelong, struggles with weight/eating/coping and the fast pace and seeming ease with which the weight flies off can be incredibly blinding and gave me such superficial highs that i still wasn’t addressing all that i should to ensure success beyond those first two years.

Hey ChicTrying. Don’t despair. The best advice I can give is start with 3 simple rules. 64 ounces of calorie free liquids per day, 60 grams of protein and following the 30/30 rule. Practice them for 30 days until they become a habit. It sounds like grazing is an issue for you. Having three meals and 2-3 healthy snacks a day may reverse the grazing trend. Best wishes, and so glad you are seeking psychological help!