jellybean12

Hi. I haven’t posted here in probably over a year or so but I came here looking for a post like this because I can relate completely. Same circumstances with me. I find what helps me is mindfulness and support from others. The more I have others checking in, the more it reminds me to stay mindful. I’d welcome a few others who want to be a support team for each other and I’d be up for doing it they MyFitnessPal. Chunky, I’ll PM you. Thanks

I am a middle aged solo mom and I just started dating a new man. (which is a side-effect unto itself. LOL) He asked me to sit on his lap to kiss him. So I did. And I didn't worry that I would break him. That lack of worry that I -will be too heavy -won't fit into something -will hurt someone -have people looking at me thinking "she should lose some weight" -etc is all gone. I don't miss that worry at all.

Surgery Date: 10/23/2016 Pre Surg Weight: 230 Surg Day Weight: 218 Weight today: 170 Height: 5' 3" Total lost: 60 Pounds. I am in a very weird place. I have changed my eating habits in a huge way. Protein first always. Way more balanced meals. Water. Vitamins. Stop when I'm full. I know when I've hit that "last bite". But at about month 4, I went back to eating sweets. I do eat chocolate and ice cream and I guess if I admit it to myself, I do still binge on some level. I certainly eat much less, and am more mindful of making a choice to eat this stuff in moderation. I stop when I am full, which is a big change. I haven't gained weight but am only losing at the rate of about 2 pounds a month over the past 4 months. I feel like I could eat this way for the rest of my life as I don't feel deprived. I also exercise. My issue is that I am having a hard time adjusting to "me". I look in the mirror and don't recognize myself and it's a little disconcerting. I look too much like my mother. I don't like that. The more weight I lose, the more I don't feel like myself. I think this may be why I am not being more stringent about my food. I am a widowed middle-age mom and I am happy to find dating easier and more fun. I feel great and like the way I look in clothes. (I don't like all the extra skin.) I can do anything physically that I want to do. I feel like I "SHOULD" lose more weight. But I'm not sure I really want to lose much more. I always felt best at the 160ish weight so that would be about another 10 pounds. I just don't think I'd feel like myself at less than that. Sooo, I am trying to just trust myself, to tell myself that I'm not a failure at this program if I stay where I am, that there is no "should" in terms of how much weight to have lost and that it's okay to be happy exactly where I am. And then there's so many of you out there with 100 pound losses at this point, and I am in awe and amazed and someone jealous o f that tremendous amount of weight loss. I guess perhaps I'll sign up for another 10 pounds and see how I feel there and go from there. But aside from the over-analyzing of what I "should" be doing, I feel friggin' awesome!!!

I love this comment and the quote. A few weeks after I had surgery I joined a DBT Skills Workshop offered by a local therapist. The skills of mindfulness, distress tolerance, middle path, emotional regulation and others are things we don't often learn growing up. Learning to sit with discomfort and not use a substance to numb it is really hard. Learning better strategies and then actually using them is even harder. The ongoing classes / filling out worksheets daily is really helpful and I think it's these tools that will help me maintain better habits long term. You can search DBT to learn more about it and maybe it can help minimize the "falling off the wagon"

Hello- oh I can relate and I really am touched and appreciate the courage it might have taken to write all this stuff. I do think there have been two things that have helped me along the way. DBT (google it if necessary). It's dialectical behavioral therapy. Excellent set of skills to practice better coping and less self soothing with poor choices. Also the books by the author that wrote Healing the Shame the Binds You. They were a life changer when I read them a few decades ago. Hang in there. Don't give up. You have a path and you are walking it.

3/17 - 180.5

A wise soul once told me "you lose weight to look good in clothes. You work out to look good naked." I agree! [emoji16][emoji12][emoji108]

Current weight 182. A gain. Yuck. I find that I stay the same for weeks, then lose 2 pounds, then gain 1, then stay the same, then lose 2, then gain 1, repeat. Oh well.

Today the scale says 181. But my mirror says that I'm killing it! Thanks for the support! Heading out to try a new dance exercise class called "Country Heat". Woohoo!

I've lost just 2 pounds in the past 2 months. My eating isn't perfect but it's pretty damn good. But I also have been exercising and building muscle. I wish I had taken measurements when I started this, instead of just relying on the scale as my "measurement tool". You WILL lose more weight but right now I bet you feel stronger, look stronger, and are finding that your body is changing. You know that muscle weighs more than fat. You may not be losing weight but your body is most likely looking slimmer and stronger and toned and hopefully you feel better too. That counts for a LOT. Forget the scale right now and concentrate on how you are feeling. You are kicking a$$!

Here's another good one: Giving up on a goal because of a setback is like slashing your other 3 tires because you got a flat.

Still tracking food. Still at about the 1300-1400 calorie a day mark. Still not following the program 100%. I think the rebel in me can't follow directions 100%. This scares me a bit because it's what has always caused problems for me. So I am eating my Protein first and most meals / food is good for me. However, I am adding in some sweets and can't seem to get back to a place where this doesn't happen. I'm taking a DBT skills class which is really helpful regarding mindfulness and distress tolerance, etc. I'm working out and can really see changes in my 55 year old body. I LIKE it! Have just lost about 2.5 pounds this month. Down to 182. I don't post much but I do love reading how everyone is doing so thanks and here's a quote I found recently that I love; Giving up on a goal because of a setback is like slashing your other 3 tires because you got a flat.

182.8 2/24/17. It's been 4 months since my surgery. Slow loser but down 35 since then and 48 total. So looking forward to hitting 50 pounds lost. Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

2/17 weighin 184.3. Thanks Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Yes, let's use it for that. Thanks!

Goal weight 170 Current weight 185 Today's date 2/6 Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

That would be me! Sleeved 3 months ago.

Thanks for doing this. You DO have a very full schedule so I appreciate you making the time to do this. It's going to be my first challenge since I'm pretty new here. Goal Weight:170 Current Weight: 186 Today's Date: 2/3/17

I'm wondering if people's calorie intake has increased in the last month or two. My sleeve surgery date was Oct 24 and the scale said 218 (initial pre-op weight was 230.) I posted my stats earlier in the thread but today I'm 184. I've had some hiccups along the way but mostly I'm just so happy with this! To try and stay more accountable to myself about what I'm actually eating, I decided a week or two ago to use myfitnesspal to track my food and exercise. It turns out I'm eating about 1100-1400 calories a day. It feels okay to me and non-restrictive (I don't feel like I'm "dieting"). It feels like a eating lifestyle I could keep forever. I'm losing, but very slowly. But maybe I'm worried that I'm eating more like a person on "maintenance" than someone in the peak of their weight loss arc. I will ask my doctor when I see her in two weeks but just curious how much others are able to eat and/or want to eat. Thanks!

I had heard that too but here's the funny thing for me. I have had acid reflux for at least a decade. When prepping for my sleeve surgery, it was discovered that I had a hiatal hernia. My surgeon and I talked about how a sleeve can often increase acid reflux. But I wasn't comfortable with any other option so we decided to go forward with the sleeve. And my acid reflux is gone! It's been 3 months and anything can happen, but for now it's gone. Surgeon thinks my reflux might have been due to the hernia. I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

Hi - I also thought I was having hunger pangs but it turns out that acid reflux or indigestion or the like often feels like a growling stomach to me (and others, as my dr. told me.) I was given a prescription for pepcid and it worked to eliminate those hunger like feelings.

I go out to eat all the time. And usually take home about 2/3 to 3/4 of my meal. It doesn't bother me and mentally I'm calculating how much money I'm saving on meals since I get 2-4 meals out of anything I order (even better when someone else pays!) What cracks me up is when people who don't really know me comment "You're being so good". LOL

Hi - I find that I wake up hungry so I always eat some sort of breakfast. (But I don't have to get up as early as you!) I will eat one of the following - premier Protein shake -oikos yogurt (15 grams of protein) + a tiny bit of high protein Go Lean crunch Cereal in it + a few strawberries or blueberries - 2 eggs and a bunch of veggies mixed in - leftover piece of chicken - if I want something that I can really chew that feels like breakfast food, I'll have some go lean crunch cereal + milk I do try and get at least 25 grams of protein in for breakfast. It keeps me full and not wanting to graze by 9 or 10am.

Hi- My surgery date was 10/24. Started pre-op diet at 230. Date of surgery was 218. Today I'm 188. I'm 50, female, 5'3". I had a rough 2-3 weeks around the holidays with sweets and actually gained a few pounds but I'm doing much better again. I'm also working out and find that one of my favorite parts of this is being able to see muscle definition in my body. If I eat Protein first, I'm all set. When I ignore that strategy, it's a problem. Great to hear how everyone is doing! Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Oh, I really feel for you and can so relate. Just a little over 2 months from my surgery date and I already feel the struggles with the sweets addiction/cravings. I didn't realize how easy those sweets would go down! Even before therapy, if you haven't read any Geneen Roth books, perhaps take a look at her stuff. And The Self-Compassion Diet by Jean Fain. Both those authors make a lot of sense to me. Take care, be gentle with yourself, and remember that you've overcome obstacles before and you can do it again!