Body Dysmorphia

[KCgirl061 1,529]

Body Dysmorphia - I don't get it and yet I have it. I see many people comment after they've lost their weight that they still feel like the fat girl. That they still see a fat girl in the mirror. They wonder if people are staring at them as they shop in the regular section of the clothing stores because they still feel like they should belong in the plus section.

This baffles me. I'm not trying to be rude. Its just that as a preop sleever, I experience the total opposite. I'm a skinny girl trapped in a plus size body. I'm constantly looking in the mirror and wondering why my body looks like a bloated version of how I feel I am. I get mildly insulted when someone says something to me about being a big girl or a plus sized girl (even if they were totally being kind and not rude at all).

I joke to my friends that I'm trans-thin. I seriously CAN'T WAIT to get the body my mind thinks I belong in.

But I guess what I'm questioning now is: doesn't everyone getting the surgery feel the same as me? That was my assumption. Am I alone in feeling this way? And more importantly - a year from now is my brain going to switch to the opposite body dysmorphia in some cruel joke?

Edited July 17, 2018 by KCgirl061

[Matt Z 4,139]

@KCgirl061 nope not everyone feels or sees themselves the same way as everyone else. No one but you can know what your mind will or will not do. Personally, I've been heavy most of my life. When I was thin around 18 years of age, I thought I looked too thin. But now looking back, I looked great. Now, having lost 126+ lbs from my max weight, I sometimes see myself in the mirror and don't know it's me. I've seen someone at the gym walking near me in the mirror from my peripheral vision and I've side stepped to avoid running into them... only to realize that, it was me I was seeing in the mirror.

Body Dysmorphia is a personal issue. No 2 people are the same. It has a lot to do with what we expect to see, what we've gotten used to see and how we view ourselves outwardly through preconceptions about ourselves. Some folks have been overweight their entire lives and have never seen themselves as thin. Others were at one point and then gained... but they've been big so long, that that state has become their minds "norm".

Bottom line though, it's not really anyone's place to "get" someone else's viewpoint on their own body. Nor can we ever properly understand anything other than our own point of view, because no matter how hard we try, we'll always be trapped inside our own minds, relying on our brain's interpretation of all that exists. Everything that you know, is a translation made by your brain... Nothing more, nothing less.

Edited July 17, 2018 by Matt Z

[GreenTealael 24,905]

Body Dysmorphia - I don't get it and yet I have it. I see many people comment after they've lost their weight that they still feel like the fat girl. That they still see a fat girl in the mirror. They wonder if people are staring at them as they shop in the regular section of the clothing stores because they still feel like they should belong in the plus section.
This baffles me. I'm not trying to be rude. Its just that as a preop sleeper, I experience the total opposite. I'm a skinny girl trapped in a plus size body. I'm constantly looking in the mirror and wondering why my body looks like a bloated version of how I feel I am. I get mildly insulted when someone says something to me about being a big girl or a plus sized girl (even if they were totally being kind and not rude at all).
I joke to my friends that I'm trans-thin. I seriously CAN'T WAIT to get the body my mind thinks I belong in.
But I guess what I'm questioning now is: doesn't everyone getting the surgery feel the same as me? That was my assumption. Am I alone in feeling this way? And more importantly - a year from now is my brain going to switch to the opposite body dysmorphia in some cruel joke?

I believe This is also consider body dysmorphia...

VSG2017 HW 249 SW 238 CW 169

[Matt Z 4,139]

5 minutes ago, Tealael said:

I believe This is also consider body dysmorphia...

VSG2017 HW 249 SW 238 CW 169

It is.

[KCgirl061 1,529]

Yeah guys, I know. I said that at the very start of my post.

[GreenTealael 24,905]

The way body dysmorphia presents is not always the same and can vary within the lifetime of the individual. A person can incorrectly PERCEIVE themselves and the physical changes that may occur may have no bearing. I have body dysmorphia, mirrors don't give me correct perspective, only photos and only sometimes. The brain is wild...

VSG2017 HW 249 SW 238 CW 169

[GreenTealael 24,905]

Yeah guys, I know. I said that at the very start of my post.

I missed that part , my apologies,

It can change,it may subside but doesnt have to but you won't know until you are over that mountain...

The closer I get to my dysmorphic state the calmer the symptoms are...

VSG2017 HW 249 SW 238 CW 169

[MIZ60 1,291]

I felt exactly like you did before surgery. I honestly did not think of myself as the size I actually was and it stunned me to see pictures that proved it. I avoided the camera for the last couple of years....

I did not develop weight issues until I was in my 40s--my RN job was physically active and as a nurse practitioner I did a lot of walking and occasional wrestling with kids to examine them . Once I started gaining weight I just bought bigger clothes but still did not make the mental connection.

Even now (and I have done this for years) I will ask my husband "Is that person the size I am/was" when we see an overweight woman. This aggravates him but he usually says "no she is bigger than you ever were". He told me last week to quit asking him that...

I am documenting my weight loss with monthly pictures....I still have a long way to go. All I see is a fat girl I do not really recognize. I have body dysmorphia.

[KCgirl061 1,529]

2 minutes ago, MIZ60 said:

I felt exactly like you did before surgery. I honestly did not think of myself as the size I actually was and it stunned me to see pictures that proved it. I avoided the camera for the last couple of years....

I did not develop weight issues until I was in my 40s--my RN job was physically active and as a nurse practitioner I did a lot of walking and occasional wrestling with kids to examine them . Once I started gaining weight I just bought bigger clothes but still did not make the mental connection.

Even now (and I have done this for years) I will ask my husband "Is that person the size I am/was" when we see an overweight woman. This aggravates him but he usually says "no she is bigger than you ever were". He told me last week to quit asking him that...

I am documenting my weight loss with monthly pictures....I still have a long way to go. All I see is a fat girl I do not really recognize. I have body dysmorphia.

Thank you. Glad to know I'm not the only one. I honestly was not seeing any other posts of body dysmorphia the way I was experiencing it.

[GreenTealael 24,905]

Thank you. Glad to know I'm not the only one. I honestly was not seeing any other posts of body dysmorphia the way I was experiencing it.

I have the same type (currently), sorry if I want clearer about that, the thinner I get, the closer I get to how I believe or perceived myself the calmer the symptoms.

VSG2017 HW 249 SW 238 CW 169

[KCgirl061 1,529]

4 minutes ago, Tealael said:

I have the same type (currently), sorry if I want clearer about that, the thinner I get, the closer I get to how I believe or perceived myself the calmer the symptoms.

VSG2017 HW 249 SW 238 CW 169

OH okay, I wasn't following

[Sosewsue61 3,185]

I was always shocked to see my fat pictures, 'lord am I fat or what!' 'I can't be THAT fat!'

Some of it is because I am agile, I move well and have some grace, so I 'think' I can 'fit' into that small space between things. Ha ha what an illusion that can be sometimes when that fat gut ended up with bruises from the attempt.

Oh @MIZ60, right there with you on asking the hubs to pick out the chick that I resemble weight wise lol - he squirms out of it by saying - shapes are different, your butt is not shaped like hers, you don't have arms like that, etc....BUT I seriously cannot 'see' what size I am...I hold up a shirt and think it won't fit and it does....I get amazed. I can hardly wait to see how I handle this at closer to goal weight.

And even weirder, I can shop for the teenage granddaughters at resale shops, and know what I pick up will fit them...I see their size just fine. Plus I freakin' sew garments, so why my brain can't see my body is stupifying! And mirrors are an illusion - how else could you see those 42" hips in the width of a 12" wide mirror?

[cheri325 13]

I'm the same way. I feel like a thin woman; however, I get a rude awakening when I look at pictures. I'm like something is wrong with that camera. Lol, anyway, I'm excited about the beginning of my new chapter

[redhead_che 824]

At only 9 lbs from goal I still feel like the fat girl. I just bought size medium dresses and it's still not sinking in. I just attribute it to being overweight for the majority of my life...surely it takes time to shake that feeling away. And maybe some therapy

[She_whirls 204]

Body dysmorphia is such a strange, confusing thing.
I was similar to you in that pre op, I didn’t feel that I was THAT big. I saw the pictures and saw the mirror but I couldn’t possibly actually be THAT fat. And then I had surgery. I’m down over 130 lbs and have never felt more enormous. It’s as if the weight came over and with it the rose colored glasses. I’m suddenly HYPER aware of my body. Yea my legs are much thinner, but the sagging skin at the top of my thighs is the only thing I see. I went from a size 24 to a size 4, but I can’t do anything about the huge amount of skin hanging on my stomach. I feel like a stranger in this body and I don’t know how to handle it and the attention that comes with it. I in no way regret my surgery and would do it 100 times over again because physically I feel amazing, but mentally it’s been a huge challenge.