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Dating after surgery and weight loss



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I can't comment after surgery but I can after weight loss (which obviously I regained). I reached a weight I was happy at, not in the healthy weight range for BMI, but I was curvy and fitted a size 12 (Australian). Losing the weight gave me the confidence to put myself back out there, as it were. I put a profile on a dating site, had some contacts, didn't meet too many, but there was one who I was quite taken with...we were together for about nine years. That relationship finished up March last year. With the weight loss and improved self confidence, I was happy to wear fitted clothes in lovely colours not the baggy shapeless clothes in dark or dreary I tended to wear.

I know there are plenty of people with the confidence to put themselves out there regardless of what they weigh, not me, I practically become a recluse. For the period of time I kept most of the weight off I was quite confident and social. I wish I had that confidence, that self believe in myself regardless of what a number on the scales say.

I think confidence is an attractive trait and people respond to it in a positive way. With confidence we stand tall, we smile at strangers, most strangers (including service staff such as shop workers) reactive positively to people who smile, who don't slouch etc.

And to be fair to the opposite sex, there are plenty of men who love a confident (or not) woman regardless of what she weighs.

Sorry for waffle!

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On 4/30/2018 at 10:36 PM, TaylorMade4One said:

Interested in hearing if dating is easier, better or different after surgery and weight loss? Have you met a new boo? I'm all ears! 🤔emoji41.pngemoji101.pngemoji101.png

Im still single AF...

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3 minutes ago, TaylorMade4One said:


Are you interested in dating?

I really thought I would hear some great love stories! [emoji2][emoji1]

I am interested but not in what dating currently is, i was born either 50 years too early or 50 years too late. i have antiquated ideas about relationships. I refuse the hook up culture.

SO...

Im single AF...

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I’m single AF too


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Single AF. Still overweight. Recently joined tinder but the men only seem to want hook ups.

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Speaking as a happily married man, I have found that post op I am far more active and involved in activities. With that increased exposure, flirting and being asked out happens incredibly frequently. It is to the point that my kids have even started piping up and telling the women that I am married. Just bluntly blurting "He's married." if they see anything they consider flirtatious.

It always seems to happen when I am most oblivious or I am doing something not generally associated with looking for attention. At the gym, taking the kids shopping, asking for help in a store, asking directions... just average mundane daily activities. How you carry yourself makes a huge impact on people.

@LaLaDee your profile pic is beautiful, I'm betting you are getting flirted with and may not be realizing it yet.

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8 hours ago, BigViffer said:

Speaking as a happily married man, I have found that post op I am far more active and involved in activities. With that increased exposure, flirting and being asked out happens incredibly frequently. It is to the point that my kids have even started piping up and telling the women that I am married. Just bluntly blurting "He's married." if they see anything they consider flirtatious.

It always seems to happen when I am most oblivious or I am doing something not generally associated with looking for attention. At the gym, taking the kids shopping, asking for help in a store, asking directions... just average mundane daily activities. How you carry yourself makes a huge impact on people.

@LaLaDee your profile pic is beautiful, I'm betting you are getting flirted with and may not be realizing it yet.

Thanks. Lol. You’re such a great guy! No wonder the ladies are flirting with you!

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I just had a break up about a month ago with the guy that I was with pre and post surgery, but I've already thought about dating again. I think it will be a lot different as a sleeved person, mostly logistics wise--I'm already thinking about suggesting coffee dates over food dates, or dates that involve no food at all! I look a lot better on the outside, but inside I'm still super shy and introverted, so it's probably going to be just as difficult :P

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Looking forward to hearing some stories in his as well. Single AF and holding out hope.

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Bat your eyes flirtingly, purr in a soft bedroom type voice, "You show me yours and I'll show you mine" and it will be like Fireworks exploding over the Sydney Opera House! Good ON and for YOU! 😜

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Another thought to brighten your Sunday and future.
There is nothing wrong with enjoying a man's atention. The real problem comes when 9 months later it results in contractions!👩👶👨

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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