Some Advice Please!

[Kay07 734]

Good Morning!

I am hoping I could get some advice from this group. My surgery is scheduled for May 14th. I am 30 years old, and have a BMI of 43.6. I have no co-morbidities. I have had one previous abdominal surgery (gall bladder) and the recovery from that was very easy for me. I was back at work 2 days after surgery.

Now, the reason I am telling you this is because my husband had a heart attack last week and is in the hospital waiting for a bypass. Heart Disease runs strong in his family. His surgery is scheduled for Monday, April 30th. The recovery for it is pretty freaking intense. As a result, I am considering pushing my surgery back a few weeks. My husband and family are adamantly against it. My mom works part time as a school bus driver, and my sister is on Maternity Leave, so they said they will take care of the kids (8 and soon to be 5) and us for the first week after my surgery.

My main concern is this: My husband can't drive for at least the first 6 weeks to allow the sternum to heal. I won't be able to drive right after surgery (according to my paperwork at least). Does anyone know how long that is for? How soon were you driving? I just feel that with him only being 2 weeks post op, it seems insane to go in for another surgery!

My concern with pushing the surgery back is work and insurance. For work, I've already got the leave approved, the STD in place, and have started to train my coverage while I am out. I took 3 weeks off post-surgery since I have a 1.5 - 2 hour commute each way and my thought was seatbelt + incisions = not fun. For insurance, my insurance came out with that pesky 6-month clause right at the end of my time that said any approvals submitted after 4/13 for approval needed to include 6 months of supervised weightloss. The original approval is good for within 30 days of the originally specified surgery date (They originally approved for April 16-20, and my surgery is May 14 so if falls within that 30 days). So I am afraid that if I request to push it out to say June, they may decline and make me continue with the 6 month and not have my surgery until August/September, which is the start to my busiest months at work (Not to mention the 2,000 person 4 day conference I am hosting the first week of September, AND the first week of October).

In truth, I probably won't be able to make a decision about this until my husband is post-op and I can see how he is healing. Due to his age and general health, they consider it to be an extremely easy recovery but one can never tell. However, I would welcome your thoughts especially as it pertains to recovery from VSG while caring for another post-op person or if you had more insight into the recovery of bypass (Doctors can tell us what they expect, but I find people who live through it usually have more insight into the actual day to day).

Thank you in advance for any advice you can give.

Kind regards,

Kay

P.S. One last tidbit I forgot to mention, I have no issues with making dinners and such for my family while post-op. I don't have uncontrollable food cravings, nor do I have binging issues with food so am not concerned with feeling stress about being surrounded by food I cannot eat.

Edited April 29, 2018 by Kay07

[BostonWLKC 806]

Hi
First- I’m so sorry about your husband. I hope his surgery goes well tomorrow!
My Dr told me that I could drive as soon as I felt able and no longer taking pain medications. For me that could have been 2 days . My surgery was super easy and no issues at all- I hope yours is the same

Good luck tomorrow


HW 242, SW 236- (Bypass 12/20/17)
GW#1- 199 (2/11/18)
GW#2- 180 (4/2/18)
GW#3- 160
CW 172
5’6”

[James Marusek 5,244]

Wow that is a tough call.

The time after surgery until you can drive again is determined by how soon you get off the narcotic pain killers. When I went through the induction in the hospital, I told them I wanted no pain killers after I left the recovery room. And they said they will even go easy on the anesthetics also. So after surgery that is exactly what they did. I began walking almost immediately, several lapse around the hospital floor every couple hours. That really reduces the pain due to gas. The main reason why I did that was so that I could drive again soon after they discharged me from the hospital.

But after I came home, I didn't really need to drive so I took my time and I was probably driving during the first week.

So people are different and operations are different. But this is the key if you need to drive sooner.

[TexasMommy80 297]

I drove 5 days after surgery. I didn’t take pain meds during the day, but I felt very weak, so weak that I was dizzy at times. Once I was able to move to full liquids, that helped. I am 13 days out and feel great. My mom did help us with our daughter for the first week, and that helped tremendously. Honestly, if your husband is on his way to recovery, I would do it and get it over with. You will need terrible for a few days and it’s all uphill from there.


Age: 37
Height: 5’6
BMI: 37
VSG: 4/16/18
GW: 160
MFP: Fit4LifeAR

[FluffyChix 17,409]

Aw sweetie! I'm so dang sorry to hear about your hubs and am praying all goes well with his surgery!!! Sounds like you have a support network. I honestly was up and working around the house the day after I came home from the hospital! My sis and I cooked dinner together for the full fam and played Mah Johng (sp?) and Hearts! LOL. I was off narcotics before leaving the hospital and off Tramadol by Day3. I could have actually stopped it the day after surgery but I'm a wuss and didn't want to deal with pain. liquid Tylenol did me fine and I think I stopped that on Day 4 maybe? I could have driven at around Day 2 or 3. I had RNY, so the pain may be less than with the VSG? Dunno. It always kinda sounds like your VSGers had a rougher time immediately post-surg with pain.

But I REALLY pushed my Water and walking in the hospital. So I think being well-hydrated helped with the healing. Almost no post-surgical gas pain either.

[newself 98]

I had VSG and it was done outpatient. I did not take any of the prescribed pain pills other than a tramadol the first night home. I had some discomfort from gas for the first few days, but nothing unbearable. I took off 3 days (including the surgery day) and was back at my (work from home) job full time on day 4. My kids are away at college and end of high school, so they don't really need me like your little ones. If I were you, I'd just do it, then you will have the already approved PTO to recover away from your commute, and take care of your hubby.

I'm so sorry you and your husband are having to go thru this at such a young age, but gosh, this time next year you both will be rockin' healthy bodies!!!!!

[46w4kds 177]

I agree with everyone, felt bad only a few days after surgery and was up walking around the very next day. I was driving within the first week as well, but i did not take any pain pills as well because i really didnt need them. Goodluck to you

Hw:277 SW:244 CW:170 GW:145 SD: 8/29/18

[KimTriesRNY 1,853]

I feel the real issue here is not your surgery, but actually your husband’s surgery. My father had cardiac bypass surgery about three months ago. Now my father is quite a bit older than your husband, but he had no health problems other than high cholesterol. He’s a retired police officer, not obese, in the gym six days a week. It was very shocking for our family when this happened.

Cardiac bypass surgery is a massive undertaking and I don’t care how healthy you are before this surgery, the recovery process is arduous. When a surgeon says the recovery will be “easy” many times it is because in their minds they are comparing that patient to one that has renal failure, diabetes, heart failure, or all three. So that’s all relative. Recovery includes numerous appointments, including months of therapy at an outpatient cardiac rehab center.

I strongly suggest you research what your husbands surgery entails, andwhat his limitations will be after surgery before you decide to have your procedure. Yes, most of us come through without a hitch, but it would not be a great time to have you feeling nauseated, weak, and irritable. Your husband is going to need your physical and emotional support through this.

I hate to be the downer of the group, but I think you should postpone your surgery. Seeing my dad go through cardiac bypass was shocking, and I’m a registered nurse used to seeing patients in difficult situations.

Prayers for your husband that he makes a healthy and speedy recovery and has a successful surgery.

[Orchids&Dragons 9,046]

I'm so sorry to hear this. I hope your husband's surgery and recovery go well. I'd recommend speaking with your surgeon as soon as possible. I feel like is experience would be invaluable here. Because, really, how other people healed is totally irrelevant. It's not about the average recuperation time, but yours specifically. While there are lots of smooth-sailing success stories, there are also a few nightmares posted on the boards, as well. I wish you the best, but until the surgery, you just won't know. Hugs.

[Creekimp13 5,838]

Here's the thing....if both of your surgeries go like they should....it'll be tough....but you will be fine.

BUT... (and this is a big but)....if either of you experience any complications....that might get tricky.

16 minutes ago, KimTriesRNY said:

I strongly suggest you research what your husbands surgery entails, andwhat his limitations will be after surgery before you decide to have your procedure. Yes, most of us come through without a hitch, but it would not be a great time to have you feeling nauseated, weak, and irritable. Your husband is going to need your physical and emotional support through this.

This is something to consider.

Have a talk with his doctor about your surgery plans....just get it all on the table and get your own surgeon's advice and his surgeon's advice. Be sure to mention you have the support of your mom and sister. And it sounds like they're ready to jump in with support.

It's worth getting their input...and it's worth researching exactly what you're up against.

If you do go ahead, you need people on deck to help, and you need to be ready for all possible outcomes.

[Creekimp13 5,838]

In my family, if hubby did well with surgery, and was making good progress healing at a week out....I would go ahead with my surgery.

I do think this is a workable situation. Tricky, but survivable.

You do need extra help, though. It is absolutely essential that you have people ready to help. Mom and sis have to be willing for you to do a lot of leaning on them.

Also, consider hired help for a few weeks. A college student or retiree would be perfect. Someone trustworthy who could help wrangle kids, drive you both to medical appointments, pick up a list of groceries, etc.

it's a comfort level thing. Some folks are ok with fighting in the trenches for a few weeks a day at a time, and some just can't handle that level of complication.

You should do what you're most comfortable with.

Best wishes whatever you decide.

[newself 98]

@creekimp makes a valid point here; it's important to realistically gauge the help you will have after the surgeries. Talking to both surgeons is much better than asking us.

Keep us updated!

[Bryn910 519]

I am sorry to hear about your husband. But bypass surgery isn’t easy. I believe your husbands doc meant it may not be as arduous for him as it is for others but your hunby is going to need assistance bathing, getting dressed etc. he won’t be able to lift things over a certain amount of weight and he will be in pain.

if it were my husband, I would postpone the bariatric surgery. You will be fine after yours and driving should be ok as long as you aren’t on pain meds but your husband is going to need some extreme care and tending to. If your family can just take care of the kids, great, but one person alone is going to need to care for your husband.

[clsumrall 535]

I am sorry to hear about your husband. But bypass surgery isn’t easy. I believe your husbands doc meant it may not be as arduous for him as it is for others but your hunby is going to need assistance bathing, getting dressed etc. he won’t be able to lift things over a certain amount of weight and he will be in pain.
if it were my husband, I would postpone the bariatric surgery. You will be fine after yours and driving should be ok as long as you aren’t on pain meds but your husband is going to need some extreme care and tending to. If your family can just take care of the kids, great, but one person alone is going to need to care for your husband.

My husband 64 had triple bypass he did well especially since he had 18 stents in his heart from the last 15 years. The hospital sent visiting nurses every day for the first 10 days the 3x a week for the next 10 days then 2x week for the final 10 days that helps a lot and they will send out nurses to help with bathing ect good luck. My husband is awesome 6 month out looks better than he has in 5 years. No worries

[KimTriesRNY 1,853]

23 minutes ago, clsumrall said:

My husband 64 had triple bypass he did well especially since he had 18 stents in his heart from the last 15 years. The hospital sent visiting nurses every day for the first 10 days the 3x a week for the next 10 days then 2x week for the final 10 days that helps a lot and they will send out nurses to help with bathing ect good luck. My husband is awesome 6 month out looks better than he has in 5 years. No worries

Someone in their 40s may not qualify for home health. Many times insurance companies decide who receives/qualifies for this service after a hospital stay and someone the OP husbands age may not be guaranteed this service.