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Fear of Chickening Out



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63 and have never written to a forum like this on any subject. Like many I tried numerous programs, over the last 15 to 20 years, to address my slowly increasing weight, but nothing worked for more than a month or so. My problem is not eating poor quality meals, generally over eating at meal time, routinely eating badly (rarely go to a McDonald's except driving on vacation) or having a trigger food like cake or ice cream. My problem is I have no clue what hunger really feels like anymore. I can easily go all day with out eating but then once I start at dinner I can't/don't stop eating. I can eat a Thanks Giving meal, stuffed to the point of being sick, and then still turn around and stuff something else in. Clearly not hunger. I am not a moody or depressed person so while there is likely an emotional component to this it is not obvious what it is. At the advice of nutritionists I have tried lots of things (e.g., sip a cup of tee, find another activity to keep your mind occupied, go for a walk) to break this habit. All of those are pleasant, but they actually feed the compulsion much like how a dog acts staring at dog biscuit outside its crate. Bottom-line its uncontrollable, mind-less, snacking.

So pardon the long winded lead in, but this is causing me angst as my surgery date approaches so a couple questions for the experienced members.

  • Having read a lot about the diet restrictions I worry that not having good mental control over my eating behavior could cause problems. Mindless eating by its nature is uncontrolled and I wonder if others have found this problematic and if so how did they deal with it.
  • Are holidays and special occasions ever the same post surgery? The euphemism "pigging-out" is actually something pleasurable beyond just food. For example most holidays and special occasions have a component of overeating. Almost seems that once you have the surgery those pleasures are a thing of the past. How do you break this or is it always a struggle? I've been thinking a lot about my favorite holidays (i.e., Christmas, Thanks Giving, Fourth of July) and in my mind I hear "Maybe I should just try a conventional diet program again at least I'll still be able to enjoy turkey, mashed potatoes and pumpkin pie at Christmas".
  • I travel a fair amount for work. I have actually delayed the surgery until summer when my travel and speaking schedule slow for a few months. I am scheduled for surgery the third week of June which is three weeks after my last trip. Then I don't have anything else scheduled until early September but that is in Europe. I have read a lot of posts but I have not found many that outline traveling success recommendations. While there is some entertaining in the mix it is not excessive I am more interested in how people manage a restrictive diet around the chaotic schedules of business travelers.
  • Last but not least. One of my bucket list items has long been to ride a bicycle across the country from coast to coast. Before I even contemplated the surgery I started making plans for when I might be able to do this and how I could go about making it happen. One of the big issues was certainly my weight which would be helped by the surgery. However, again with the diet restrictions and hydration needs I wonder if there are any challenges or problems with long endurance activities like this. Currently this would be a couple years post surgery so healing should be complete, my concern is are there problems with dehydration.

After scanning this long message seems I am a politician, which I am not. If anyone cares to comments I don't expect people to respond to all of my questions. Probably should have written more than one message but this was stream of consciousness.

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Honestly, I'm a bit younger than you are, but I still feel like this surgery was something I should have done a long time ago. I had many of the same concerns, but I'm about a month out from surgery now and can say that at least for me those concerns were misplaced. I'll try to address your concerns point by point.

1) Honestly post surgery I've found that my hunger has subsided in general. The side effect of removing a portion of your stomach is reduced Ghrelin production, which causes hunger. For me this translates into much less casual grazing.

2) I can't speak to the pigging out, but I enjoyed having my fill of ham and other not healthy things for Easter. Yes you will be eating less, but that doesn't mean you can't enjoy what you eat. I'm not saying that gorge yourself holidays won't be different, but you will find your self more drawn to the good stuff that you like and forgo the canned cranberry sauce (or whatever).

3) I'm a business traveler as well and the general rule for travel is to wait 6-8 weeks (ask your doctor what they recommend) before embarking on a long distance flight to avoid the increased risks of blood clots in that period. Beyond that window there aren't any long term restrictions.

4) I don't thing you need to worry about dehydration, the only real difference long term is that your ability to chug a huge amount of liquid in one go will be limited, but your overall ability to hydrate won't be and by that time you will be more used to the rhythm so to speak. Instead of drinking 32 oz of Water in one gulp you will drink 32 oz over the course of an hour (or two or whatever you feel comfortable with), the point being you will still be able stay hydrated.

On a completely unrelated note and not as the kids would say to "blow up your spot," but your photo looks so familiar to me.

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The surgery is a tool. Without a lot of discipline and attention to changing your lifestyle habits, it won't work.

That said....with the tool in place...it gets easier when you're making good choices.

Holidays are great. I overindulge a little on special occasions. But instead of eating a few servings of something naughty....you'll probably feel content to have a few bites of naughtiness. You'll still be stuffed and feel like you pigged out if you do this... I promise. But the net calories will be so much better...you'll sabotage yourself...less. It doesn't make your holidays feel deprived or sad...least it doesn't for me. When I went to Easter dinner I had a couple of bites of everything. Ham, potatoes, poppy seed bread, salads, the works....I even bit a Cadbury egg and quickly handed it back to my kiddo. It was delicious and wonderful. My portions are extremely small...but I don't feel at all deprived. food is still a pleasure at celebrations. But overindulgence is followed up by walking a few extra miles, salads for dinner, and adding some extra cardio the following week. Balance is the goal. If you want to plan for indulgence...plan for increased discipline before/afterward to level it out.

Three months out....you should be able to find things on menus you can eat for work. It shouldn't be an issue. A well cooked Protein and whatever side you like, a protein and a salad, a soup....it's easy to eat out for business at 3 months. (or at least it was for me) Keep protein Snacks in your bag...most convenience stores sell them now...cheese sticks, hard boiled eggs, deli meat and nuts.

You can absolutely do your bike trip. Several accomplished athletes here running races and doing high demand training. Hydration is harder in the beginning. A few months out, you can drink pretty freely. (if a little more frequently) You will LOVE riding your bike again:) I am really enjoying riding mine:)

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They way you describe your eating patterns sorta sounds like you have a lot going on besides sticking to a diet/new way of eating/making better choices. My daughter has a binge eating disorder that she sees a psychiatrist for & takes medication for.
You should get this checked out so that you will be successful in your weight-loss journey. Weight-loss surgery can only do so much. We all are subject to relapses and putting the weight back on!


Toodles,
Rue

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