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Judgy People Suck! But you have to laugh......



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Just thought I would share a bit of humor. First and foremost remember, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent".

I am 9 months out of surgery, and have now lost 230 lbs. and losing. It is quite a change. So I get home from work on evening and step out of my car and a lady in our neighborhood, whom I have known from a distance for 20 years, is walking her dog as she does everyday. She stops in front of my house and looks at me and this is how the conversation goes......

HER - Are you the same person? The same person who has lived here for years?

ME - Yes it's me, how are you doing?

HER - YOU HAVE LOST SO MUCH WEIGHT! YOU WERE SO BIG!

ME - Yes, thank you, I have lost quite a bit of weight.

HER - (throwing her arms out as if she was being nailed to a cross) BUT YOU WERE SO BIG! YOU WERE HUGE! And now you look great. How much have you lost?

ME - 228 lbs.

HER - THAT IS AMAZING! (she had such an excited look on your face) How did you do it?

ME - I had surgery.

HER - Oh! (and her face deflated, and she looked down her nose with disapproval)

These people think we have cheated because we had surgery, or took the easy way out. Little do they know. LOL! I swear I get that reaction so many times when I mention surgery. I am not one to lie, but I think this is going to start being my response to that question we all get of "how did you do it?"

My Answer Will Be - I drink a Coke and have chocolate everyday, and eat Pasta at least three times a week. :) At least the look on their faces will be better than that look of disapproval.

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At some point you have to say f**k these people! I don't really care about people's responses and if they ask, I am going to tell them the truth because I am not ashamed to admit that I am one of the 90% for whom diet and exercise alone did not work. It's also a great way to screen people. If they're going to judge you based on that, you don't want them in your life .... period.

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I'm really sorry that she had that reaction. I have to say that I not experienced that one time, and I am completely open about my entire journey and have been all along.

I've lost 225 pounds, so I completely understand your transformation. I have found that people are usually so blown away at the transformation itself that the surgery is just a supporting piece of the conversation (as it should be as it is merely a supporting player of the journey). I move along quickly to talk about having changed my relationship with food and how I eat. Anyone that knows me knows that my discipline is Iron clad, so they wouldn't dare say a thing about the surgery.

Hopefully this was a one-off. Keep being fabulous and congratulations on your accomplishment!!

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Yeah, this is why I am in the bariatric closet! I don’t need people getting all judgmental. Ugh.

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I tell people I’m on a low carb diet. I just do not want to deal with the judgement right now. Once I get closer to goal, I may discuss my surgery with an obese person if I feel they are actually looking for help but I find most people are looking for an easy answer. They don’t want to work hard.

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You're much nicer than me. I would probably have made a snarky comment to the "you were so big!" comment. She sounds like a jerk!!

I tell people I had surgery, and I don't care how they react. I actually put it on my FB and included the line, "There's no shame in my game." :)

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4 minutes ago, mamamc32 said:

I tell people I had surgery, and I don't care how they react. I actually put it on my FB and included the line, "There's no shame in my game." :)

Good for you!

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I look forward to that person challenging my (our) decision - because your right - little do they know ! Great job!


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On 04/03/2018 at 5:08 AM, frust8 said:

LaLaDee you look so much like my daughter and one of my grand-daughters ---every time I see your avatar it gives me a jolt, but in a good way. God Bless your weight loss journey.

Sent from my VS880PP using BariatricPal mobile app

Thank you frust8! You’re so sweet! I’m praying for you on your journey.

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@Jean E. Congrats on your success! I am so sorry for the haters. When i had wls my work friends would tell me how great I looked & then ask me how much weight I'd lost. Then they'd ask me how much more I wanted to lose. UGHHHHH

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People whose opinions are not asked for are more than welcome to kiss my tiny non existent tush. ALWAYS.


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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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