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Surgery, “it’s the easy way.”



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So, the conversation went like this. Person who I’m sure I want in my life moving forward, “ ummm well, if that’s what you want to do. You know, I lost 50lbs the natural way but eating small portions and walking.”

Me: “ I’m glad you’re happy with your results. There’s no hard way or easy way, there’s only the permanent way and however means you choose to get there is the right way.”

The person I no longer like, “ well, sorry you don’t like what you see in the mirror that you want to mutualize your body to be “skinny” that’s really low self esteem”

WTF. by now I wanted to b***h slap someone but I took the high road and responded. “ you don’t have to understand or even agree with my decision but I ask that you respect it and me. “

End of conversation.

My rant goes: why the stigma of wls vs the natural way. I get so annoyed when I hear that statement. The perception that going the surgical route is not by any means the easy way to go.

End rant.

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I keep thinking of the same thing being told to someone with obstructive coronary artery disease...

"Did you do it on your own and correct your diet to avoid a heart attack? Or did you do it the easy way and have that pesky triple bypass they said you needed. That's not natural! You must have low self esteem!"

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8 hours ago, Creekimp13 said:

"Did you do it on your own and correct your diet to avoid a heart attack? Or did you do it the easy way and have that pesky triple bypass they said you needed. That's not natural! You must have low self esteem!"

Well, it's definitely something to consider to say when looking at the dramatic impact an ideal diet and best medical treatment has on coronary heart disease. ;)

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I had a similar discussion with my Mom. I purposely waited to tell her over the phone so if it went bad, I could hang up. It wasn't as bad as I thought but it still hurts. I wanted to say "after dieting on and off for 37 years your way and things not working, maybe this would be the tool that does work. Can't you be supportive - even if you have to be silent to do so? Thank God my husband keeps my perspective on track and makes me laugh during these stressful situations.

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Great article, thanks for sharing. Especially loved the resolution quote: "The suggestion that obesity is not a disease but rather a consequence of a chosen lifestyle exemplified by overeating and/or inactivity is equivalent to suggesting that lung cancer is not a disease because it was brought about by individual choice to smoke cigarettes."


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Great article Creekimp13! I hate that sometimes I still feel like that little girl who needs her Mommy's permission even though I go my own way. I know she will always have something negative to say when it comes to my weight. However, I am doing this for me. I just read your comment about 75% of bariatric patients end up divorced. That is scary. I am also doing this so I can get a hip replaced so I can keep traveling with my husband. He is also following a high Protein, low carb diet because it helps him feel better, especially with his joints. We both are in our 40's but feel like we are in our 80's! That is going to change for the better.

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Once upon a time I had a doctor ( not my Bariatric Surgeon,not even my current PCP) tell me: I'd like you to weigh 148 lbs. My answer: I would too but I don't see that it Will be happening without Bariatric Surgery. If wishing weight away would work none of us would be overweight.

Sent from my VS880PP using BariatricPal mobile app

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Once upon a time I had a doctor ( not my Bariatric Surgeon,not even my current PCP) tell me: I'd like you to weigh 148 lbs. My answer: I would too but I don't see that it Will be happening without Bariatric Surgery. If wishing weight away would work none of us would be overweight.

Sent from my VS880PP using BariatricPal mobile app



I would also like to wish for the wining lotto numbers. I know money can’t buy happiness but it sure can by a chef to do all this meal prep we gotta do. I’m just saying....


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"The easy way," yes, that's the road I'd like to go down. When someone finds it, please let me know.

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UGH. I read your post and got irrationally mad. It's the reason I didn't tell most people about my surgery beforehand. I don't need your unsolicited opinion on how *I* should handle *MY* body.

Maybe for them eating small portions and exercise worked. For me, I had a medical condition which wouldn't let my body lose weight. So despite eating right and exercising, it wasn't enough.

Next, it isn't about being skinny. It is about being healthy. My body is a car. I want what is under the hood to work well so I can drive it around for years to come. If good maintenance results in a good looking exterior, awesome. But that isn't the main goal.

Finally, f**k her for thinking it is the easy way out. The easy way out is doing nothing. The hard way is:

* Accepting you need help. This one may sound easy but I know that for me, this was admitting that I couldn't handle this myself. It was admitting defeat.
* Saving money for the doctor. Going to classes and education sessions for months to qualify for a major surgery.
* Going on a strict diet prior to surgery.
*Staying on a strict diet after surgery.
*Staying on a strict diet and Vitamin routine for the rest of your life.

So the "easy" way out is an insanely strict diet and major surgery to get a tool installed?

Screw her. Sorry, you touched a nerve here. One of my husband's friends lived with us for about 6 months. He had gone from 350lbs to about 150 after getting diagnosed with type 2 Diabetes. How did he do this? He switched from drinking a 12 pack of regular soda daily to a 12 pack of diet soda. Seriously, that was it and the weight evaporated off of him. I had to live with 6 months of watching him drink a gallon of milk a day, 12+ sodas daily and nothing but fast food, while he'd preach to me about how easy it was to lose weight if I just put in some effort. Meanwhile, I was weighing all of my meals, not touching carbs (or soda) and working out with no results.

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UGH. I read your post and got irrationally mad. It's the reason I didn't tell most people about my surgery beforehand. I don't need your unsolicited opinion on how *I* should handle *MY* body.
Maybe for them eating small portions and exercise worked. For me, I had a medical condition which wouldn't let my body lose weight. So despite eating right and exercising, it wasn't enough.
Next, it isn't about being skinny. It is about being healthy. My body is a car. I want what is under the hood to work well so I can drive it around for years to come. If good maintenance results in a good looking exterior, awesome. But that isn't the main goal.
Finally, f**k her for thinking it is the easy way out. The easy way out is doing nothing. The hard way is:
* Accepting you need help. This one may sound easy but I know that for me, this was admitting that I couldn't handle this myself. It was admitting defeat.
* Saving money for the doctor. Going to classes and education sessions for months to qualify for a major surgery.
* Going on a strict diet prior to surgery.
*Staying on a strict diet after surgery.
*Staying on a strict diet and Vitamin routine for the rest of your life.
So the "easy" way out is an insanely strict diet and major surgery to get a tool installed?
Screw her. Sorry, you touched a nerve here. One of my husband's friends lived with us for about 6 months. He had gone from 350lbs to about 150 after getting diagnosed with type 2 Diabetes. How did he do this? He switched from drinking a 12 pack of regular soda daily to a 12 pack of diet soda. Seriously, that was it and the weight evaporated off of him. I had to live with 6 months of watching him drink a gallon of milk a day, 12+ sodas daily and nothing but fast food, while he'd preach to me about how easy it was to lose weight if I just put in some effort. Meanwhile, I was weighing all of my meals, not touching carbs (or soda) and working out with no results.




You spoke to my soul with this comment. Thank you!


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On ‎2018‎-‎01‎-‎27 at 5:43 PM, vanelifejourney said:

My rant goes: why the stigma of wls vs the natural way. I get so annoyed when I hear that statement. The perception that going the surgical route is not by any means the easy way to go.

I spent a number of years struggling with infertility/recurrent pregnancy loss and the same stigma haunts that community too. The number of times I'd hear comments about 'natural' versus IVF/assisted reproductive therapies... I swear I'd want to strangle folks. People think that if something was easy for them, it automatically must be easy (natural) for everyone else. This is a medical situation that needs to be treated medically.

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

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        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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