I don’t know what to do, I’ve hit rock bottom

[Jen17 3]

Hi everyone,

I just wanted to know if anyone had their world turned upside down after surgery? Granted what I did was stupid and could really see the writing on the wall that I was going to end up having a nervous breakdown which I am now trying to get through.

I had surgery in May and had a month at home in QLD but wanted to move closer to my father and stupidly thought I could pack, move and start a new job while trying to manage full time work, 5 animals and a large yard, the landlady was texting and going around my house hen wasn’t home, took the keys to the ride and told me I had 2 weeks to get out once I told her how uncomfortable her sticking her nose in was making me.... so I couldn’t keep food down, would often hurl at work and took days off, the landlady had me so distressed I tried to overdose and ended up in hospital, since then the following has happened:

I lost my job due to my personal problems

I have nowhere to live, I’m staying I’m staying at friends and my animals are in an emergency shelter

My father disowned me, told me to get off his property, this one has me baffled because I’ve never been suicidal but I thought my dad would want to help me, he hates me so now I have no family support.

I have no money so I’ll lose the house I worked hard for

I have never had panic attacks or anxiety like this, I’m dizzy, legs are wobbly, shaking all the time, blurry vision

Can’t eat, I mean I look at food and feel sick, drinking Water though so at least that’s something.

My dog needs 10k surgery, my animals are all I have in life

I’m seeing a psychologist who said I shouldn’t have had the surgery which is why I just bored you with everything above! I need to be accountable for my actions but I’m wondering if the surgery has made me crazy? I was a manager and now, in the pits of despair, I’m thinking I will never cope with life again.

I’m sorry if this is offensive to anyone and I hope I can find people here who may have had similar experiences and can assure me life will get better?

[NewYorkOldBody 7]

I wish I had some life changing advice for you ♡ What youre going through sounds very difficult and isolating. I think any massive change has the potential to be catastrophic for people. The surgery affects hormones massively, this is something my surgeon talked to me at length about. Also, if you're on hormonal birth control that may be in play as well. Give yourself a moment to think about your worth- you are worthy, which is why you had the surgery in the first place! You're dealing with a whole lot and can't go back in time and change a thing. Take a deep breath and think about what you can do in this moment to help yourself. One thing at a time. Best wishes ♡

Sent from my SM-N920V using BariatricPal mobile app

[Introversion 1,876]

5 hours ago, Jen17 said:

I’m seeing a psychologist who said I shouldn’t have had the surgery which is why I just bored you with everything above!

This is why a meticulous psychological evaluation is of the essence prior to surgery.

If you underwent a psych eval, the psychologist who conducted it likely missed or downplayed a few important telltale signs in regards to coping skills and so forth.

I wish you the very best of luck. Live in the moment and address each task one at a time to make the situation more bearable.

There is light at the end of the tunnel. You can pull through this.

[tankheadmommy 94]

Hi everyone,
I just wanted to know if anyone had their world turned upside down after surgery? Granted what I did was stupid and could really see the writing on the wall that I was going to end up having a nervous breakdown which I am now trying to get through.
I had surgery in May and had a month at home in QLD but wanted to move closer to my father and stupidly thought I could pack, move and start a new job while trying to manage full time work, 5 animals and a large yard, the landlady was texting and going around my house hen wasn’t home, took the keys to the ride and told me I had 2 weeks to get out once I told her how uncomfortable her sticking her nose in was making me.... so I couldn’t keep food down, would often hurl at work and took days off, the landlady had me so distressed I tried to overdose and ended up in hospital, since then the following has happened:
I lost my job due to my personal problems
I have nowhere to live, I’m staying I’m staying at friends and my animals are in an emergency shelter
My father disowned me, told me to get off his property, this one has me baffled because I’ve never been suicidal but I thought my dad would want to help me, he hates me so now I have no family support.
I have no money so I’ll lose the house I worked hard for
I have never had panic attacks or anxiety like this, I’m dizzy, legs are wobbly, shaking all the time, blurry vision
Can’t eat, I mean I look at food and feel sick, drinking Water though so at least that’s something.
My dog needs 10k surgery, my animals are all I have in life
I’m seeing a psychologist who said I shouldn’t have had the surgery which is why I just bored you with everything above! I need to be accountable for my actions but I’m wondering if the surgery has made me crazy? I was a manager and now, in the pits of despair, I’m thinking I will never cope with life again.
I’m sorry if this is offensive to anyone and I hope I can find people here who may have had similar experiences and can assure me life will get better?

I wish I knew how to assist you. I can tell you one I can do and that is listen. I know this is an awesome forum and there are many other people who are will to listen as well. Check your local community action. They are usually a place that has lots of resources and they can direct you to agencies that can help you. It may be hard to find, but do not give you are worth it.

[Jen17 3]

Thanks for your advice, it was so stupid of me to think I could have the operations, pack, move and start a new job, I feel like I’m crazy which is so negative and wrong so I’m going to try to busy myself and think positive!

[Jen17 3]

I wish I knew how to assist you. I can tell you one I can do and that is listen. I know this is an awesome forum and there are many other people who are will to listen as well. Check your local community action. They are usually a place that has lots of resources and they can direct you to agencies that can help you. It may be hard to find, but do not give you are worth it.

I would love to know about this forum, any support would be appreciated!

[Walter.Sobchak 978]

I will PM you. Don’t want to put too much of my business out there.

[tankheadmommy 94]

Thanks for your advice, it was so stupid of me to think I could have the operations, pack, move and start a new job, I feel like I’m crazy which is so negative and wrong so I’m going to try to busy myself and think positive!

You're not crazy. You the best you could to make a good decision then. It did not turn out the way you thought it would, but you can learn from it and now move forward. If you live in your mistake, then you can not move forward, you will stay depressed. Take it one day at a time and find at least two things you did well everyday and Celebrate that success. Repeat that everyday and never stop. We are so good at putting ourselves down, but we are horrible at lifting ourselves up. You have purpose and you are worth it.

[shedo82773 1,236]

I wish I had a miracle to give you. But I don't. Just realize you can make everything better but it takes strength!! One day at a time or even one step at a time. NEVER let anyone take your worth away!! I'm sure you will get thru this!! I can listen to you at any time. Take it easy and remember you are not alone.

[Berry78 4,259]

You are 6 months postop.. and with all that you've been going through, I suspect you haven't been getting the proper nutrition. You have an awful lot of concerning physical symptoms that might be related to nutritional deficiencies.

If you can see a doctor for tests, that would be ideal. (I know since you are between jobs, that may be difficult). At the very least, you need to be on some very good Vitamins. A good multi with Iron, B-12, and calcium citrate.

Check with social services to see if you can qualify for financial/food/medical/housing assistance. Something that can help you get back on your feet. Ask about discount clinics where you might receive reduced-cost medical care.

As for the psychiatrist.. coulda, woulda, shoulda... doesn't matter. Here you are, and you DID have the surgery.. now your job is to find the care you need while you are getting used to your new normal. Focus on regaining your physical health, and once that has been accomplished, you may find your mental health has improved too. (And I'm not talking about weight loss = being healthy.. I'm talking about getting a doctor to run those blood tests to see what .. if anything... is wrong at the moment).

[Jen17 3]

You are 6 months postop.. and with all that you've been going through, I suspect you haven't been getting the proper nutrition. You have an awful lot of concerning physical symptoms that might be related to nutritional deficiencies.
If you can see a doctor for tests, that would be ideal. (I know since you are between jobs, that may be difficult). At the very least, you need to be on some very good Vitamins. A good multi with Iron, B-12, and calcium citrate.
Check with social services to see if you can qualify for financial/food/medical/housing assistance. Something that can help you get back on your feet. Ask about discount clinics where you might receive reduced-cost medical care.
As for the psychiatrist.. coulda, woulda, shoulda... doesn't matter. Here you are, and you DID have the surgery.. now your job is to find the care you need while you are getting used to your new normal. Focus on regaining your physical health, and once that has been accomplished, you may find your mental health has improved too. (And I'm not talking about weight loss = being healthy.. I'm talking about getting a doctor to run those blood tests to see what .. if anything... is wrong at the moment).

This is great advice, I’m getting my paperwork together to get financial aid, I only left with some clothes and toiletries, I don’t have anything else.

[LaLaDee 519]

I've also had my life turned upside down in the three months since my surgery. A close family member died, I ended up back in hospital with a lesion in my brain (which led to me going on steroids - which affected my mood and my ability to focus on the diet), my father lost his company, I had to move house, I've had endless problems at work, financial problems from taking time off work, etc.

It can feel like the universe is picking on me. Jen, it sounds like you have had it even worse. I'm so sorry to hear about what you are going through. At this point, it doesn't really matter if the surgery was the cause or not. You're going to need to focus on the future. It's really unfair, but you are going to have to move forward with the hand that you have been dealt. Don't worry about whether or not you should have gotten surgery. It's done now. You can only move forward. I'm sure that you have a bright future, you just have to get through all this now. It's OK to ask for help. I've been having therapy lately and it's been helpful. I think you need to focus on getting help and support. I'm sending you hugs across this forum! xx

[bellabloom 2,467]

My life bottomed out for a year post surgery. I really went through a rough depression and literally pulled the covers over my head for awhile.

Life can be hard but I have to say, everything is temporary. The surgery is a lot to deal with already and I’m so sorry you are dealing with so much on top of it. Just know, you are strong and you will survive this. Try to look for positive things amidst the chaos. Things have a way of working out.