Welcome to Rants and Raves!! Everything you could want is right at your fingertips. But, before we continue, a word from our sponsors, with a special thanks to the LapBandTalk Forum Oldbies, and the new hugely delicious double third pound burger from Hardees™ with two 1/3 lb. patties and four strips of bacon on a toasted and buttered bun. The mere name of this burger will give you a heart attack, so, to protect the innocent....Probably doesn't matter here, but anywho… The almighty sage of newbie welcome! I, Grand-Lord-High-Poobah and Token Deist; DerickM, have laid down this list of suggestions

NEWBIES:

If you want to say hi, please post here. Please don't start a thread to say, "Hey look at me. I'm here." I'm not saying it's a rule, I'm just suggesting you do this as a courtesy. Besides, no one's really impressed when you post a newbie threat to flout the rules. It's been done before and it's usually a simple tale of sound and fury signifying stupid.

Rants and Raves Rules:

First, NO Super powers, God powers, Anime powers, et cetera (not even Austin Powers) or weapons of any sort past this point. CHECK THEM HERE. They will be returned to you in time. Not so much a big deal anymore, but still on the books.

Please respect your elders. It's only polite.

Violators will be persecuted, hunted down, killed, filleted, eaten and then treated rather shabbily.

Repeat offenders will be stapled to a metal folding chair with your eyes nailed open and forced to watch Gigli. (Or if that movie has finally been burned from existence, Ishtar)

And now . . .

THE NOT-SO-MUCH-RULES-ANYMORE-AS-THEY-ARE-GUIDELINES-FOR-MAKING-YOUR-STAY-IN-THE-LAPBANDTALK-FORUM-AS PAINLESS (FOR US) -AS-POSSIBLE:

1. No puking on the Strippers.

2. No resurrecting dead threads. (A thread older than a week is dead.)

3. No posting replies to old threads in a new thread.

4. Newbies can't pick on Newbies.

5. No "I want to see DerickM naked" posts.

6. Sexual Innuendo is allowed (but will be graded on a scale of 1-10)

7. All females must be bisexual or at least bi-curious.

8. Take the newbie hazing like . . . well, a newbie

Newbie - any person under an undetermined amount of posts, depending on whether or not we think you deserve not to be called a newbie. Not to be confused with Fleem, which is far worse.

If you feel like you ABSOLUTELY MUST be hazed, just wait - we'll get to you. However, there is no hazing/fighting in the area outside of Rants And Raves.

Regulars, please do the newbies a favor and give this thread a bump if it needs one. And please DON'T spam the Rants and Raves.

Now, welcome!! And above all, HAVE FUN!!! :whoo:

(Now lets see how much trouble I get into...)

I am hardly new, I am rather old so please pay special attention to the "respect your elders" rule before you go dissing me, please.

Thank You,

phyllisc

Hey there beautiful! Good to see you. :biggrin1:

I was kinda hoping to see Derrick nekkid, you know.

Welcome to Rants and Raves!! Everything you could want is right at your fingertips. But, before we continue, a word from our sponsors, with a special thanks to the LapBandTalk Forum Oldbies, and the new hugely delicious double third pound burger from Hardees™ with two 1/3 lb. patties and four strips of bacon on a toasted and buttered bun. The mere name of this burger will give you a heart attack, so, to protect the innocent....Probably doesn't matter here, but anywho… The almighty sage of newbie welcome! I, Grand-Lord-High-Poobah and Token Deist; DerickM, have laid down this list of suggestions

NEWBIES:

If you want to say hi, please post here. Please don't start a thread to say, "Hey look at me. I'm here." I'm not saying it's a rule, I'm just suggesting you do this as a courtesy. Besides, no one's really impressed when you post a newbie threat to flout the rules. It's been done before and it's usually a simple tale of sound and fury signifying stupid.

Rants and Raves Rules:

First, NO Super powers, God powers, Anime powers, et cetera (not even Austin Powers) or weapons of any sort past this point. CHECK THEM HERE. They will be returned to you in time. Not so much a big deal anymore, but still on the books.

Please respect your elders. It's only polite.

Violators will be persecuted, hunted down, killed, filleted, eaten and then treated rather shabbily.

Repeat offenders will be stapled to a metal folding chair with your eyes nailed open and forced to watch Gigli. (Or if that movie has finally been burned from existence, Ishtar)

And now . . .

THE NOT-SO-MUCH-RULES-ANYMORE-AS-THEY-ARE-GUIDELINES-FOR-MAKING-YOUR-STAY-IN-THE-LAPBANDTALK-FORUM-AS PAINLESS (FOR US) -AS-POSSIBLE:

1. No puking on the Strippers.

2. No resurrecting dead threads. (A thread older than a week is dead.)

3. No posting replies to old threads in a new thread.

4. Newbies can't pick on Newbies.

5. No "I want to see DerickM naked" posts.

6. Sexual Innuendo is allowed (but will be graded on a scale of 1-10)

7. All females must be bisexual or at least bi-curious.

8. Take the newbie hazing like . . . well, a newbie

Newbie - any person under an undetermined amount of posts, depending on whether or not we think you deserve not to be called a newbie. Not to be confused with Fleem, which is far worse.

If you feel like you ABSOLUTELY MUST be hazed, just wait - we'll get to you. However, there is no hazing/fighting in the area outside of Rants And Raves.

Regulars, please do the newbies a favor and give this thread a bump if it needs one. And please DON'T spam the Rants and Raves.

Now, welcome!! And above all, HAVE FUN!!! :whoo:

(Now lets see how much trouble I get into...)

Sorry, I CANNOT live with rule, let me rephrase that...... guideline # 5

Work, I thought I would join the festivities......Thanks

And what's a fleem?

a fleem is a bloodletting tool