Year Out Tomorrow - Feeling Lost

[Beausie Bunny 9]

I am a year out from surgery tomorrow. I had RNY 11/07/16. I lost 155 lbs. Now I have gained back 15. I'm stuck because I suffer from Major Depressive Disorder and Generalized Anxiety. I go to therapy weekly and group every other week. I also am on medication for my mental illness. All I want to do is eat. I don't drink soda or alcohol. I get around 50-60 grams of Protein a day. The rest is sugar and carbs. I feel so hopeless and like I've let everyone down. I can eat a whole box of Cookies in an evening. I try to drink calorie-free things. I do well for a couple days and just do soft foods and track my calories and get protein, then I get depressed and overeat. I don't want people getting onto me but I'm getting suicidal due to this problem. I can't get big again. I'd rather die. I have an appointment for a one year checkup later this month and I'm so frustrated and depressed that I feel worthless. Has anyone experienced anything like this? Any advice? I'm in DBT and therapy and trying everything I know to do. I'm a college student and always on the go, I need some help. Thanks in advance.

[brightfaith 187]

Beausie Bunny, I'm very sorry that you've been feeling suicidal and very concerned. Could I convince you to give your therapist a call and let him/her know? As amazing and helpful as folks on this board can be, it's really important that you have support right where you are if you are feeling like you might harm yourself.

I am much older than you, but you and I have similar starting statistics (I haven't yet had surgery) and seem to struggle in similar ways -- I have difficult to treat depression and have dealt for many years with binge eating. I know how hard it is to eat well and prioritize taking care of yourself when you are depressed. I am wondering if you could work to try another medication or a new medication combination -- this is ultimately what made the biggest difference for me and enabled me to really put into practice what I was doing in therapy and with mindfulness approaches to addressing binge eating. Please talk to your doctor or psychiatrist about options. And take care.

Edited to add: And, you've had an amazing accomplishment in losing 155 pounds. You've gained back a small amount. All is not lost! It is really important to keep in perspective that this is a minor setback that you can deal with.

Edited November 6, 2017 by brightfaith

[Beausie Bunny 9]

brightfaith, I am calling my therapist this afternoon. I just need help in some way. I also have made an appointment with my psychiatrist to talk to him about medication changes. I feel like one is working and one is not, so a change may be needed. Thank you for your response. I just feel alone.

[brightfaith 187]

10 minutes ago, Beausie Bunny said:

brightfaith, I am calling my therapist this afternoon. I just need help in some way. I also have made an appointment with my psychiatrist to talk to him about medication changes. I feel like one is working and one is not, so a change may be needed. Thank you for your response. I just feel alone.

Great, I am so glad you are calling your therapist and have made an appointment with the psychiatrist. That is wonderful.

And you are not alone. *hugs*

[soready17 167]

I am a year out from surgery tomorrow. I had RNY 11/07/16. I lost 155 lbs. Now I have gained back 15. I'm stuck because I suffer from Major Depressive Disorder and Generalized Anxiety. I go to therapy weekly and group every other week. I also am on medication for my mental illness. All I want to do is eat. I don't drink soda or alcohol. I get around 50-60 grams of Protein a day. The rest is sugar and carbs. I feel so hopeless and like I've let everyone down. I can eat a whole box of Cookies in an evening. I try to drink calorie-free things. I do well for a couple days and just do soft foods and track my calories and get protein, then I get depressed and overeat. I don't want people getting onto me but I'm getting suicidal due to this problem. I can't get big again. I'd rather die. I have an appointment for a one year checkup later this month and I'm so frustrated and depressed that I feel worthless. Has anyone experienced anything like this? Any advice? I'm in DBT and therapy and trying everything I know to do. I'm a college student and always on the go, I need some help. Thanks in advance.

Hey girl I can imagine how you feel. It's an all encompassing sense of dread and fear and a feeling of failure and sense of panic which makes you turn to food. I've been there. Although I have never actually saught help I would imagine I have anxiety and depression issues. I am almost 3 months postop vsg. I can totally imagine myself in your shoes. One thing to remember and which I remind myself daily is that "this too shall pass". I do turn to food at that moment but it passes and I eat more healthily because at the end of the say I want to be healthy and I just have to never give up. Good luck to you and hope you feel better. Soon you will come to the realization that you are stronger then anything that is thrown at you. Have faith in your ability. You can do anything. *Hugs*

Sent from my SM-N910C using BariatricPal mobile app

[James Marusek 5,244]

There are two stages to weight loss surgery - weight loss phase and the maintenance phase. The strategy for each phase is different. The following short article describes my experience with the maintenance phase.

http://www.breadandbutterscience.com/Surgery2.pdf

[dreamingsmall 1,125]

I'm so sorry your suffering. You don't have to punish your self going onto soft foods.. You can get back on track but take it slowly and don't be so hard on your self. We are our own worst enemy. Your doing so well going to all these groups and therapies and trying to get back on track. Your doing great.