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Hit me with your best dad jokes

C'mon we all know some, I'll start.

I asked my friend to help me with a math problem. He said: “Don’t worry; this is a piece of cake.” I said: “No, it’s a math problem.”

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    • Views 4.1k
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    So many ...

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    And ...

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    59c6f7b4573b4_ScreenShot2017-09-24at10_08_13.png.ee8185ee55500a32eee5d1e2838e2fee.png

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    Found some extras ...

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    Just to round out the baker's dozen ...

    59c6f8d7b5f17_ScreenShot2017-09-24at10_12_53.png.7bdb8088cc3cd08bd316cde68cf760a1.png

    59c6f8db59845_ScreenShot2017-09-24at10_12_38.png.f4dd129a12e10e73de1fe69a7e295bb7.png

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    A pilot in a plane flying over the ocean had to ditch as the plane engines failed.

    He saw a ship and headed towards it hoping to be saved if he ended up nearby.

    Sadly, he misjudged and went straight into the ship. He went through the upper deck and every deck below and, finally, right through the hull of the ship causing it to sink.

    With the passengers swimming towards the lifeboats, he resurfaced and joined them. The others were totally amazed at how he could have survived this and asked how he did it.

    He said, " I've been through hardships before."

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    5 minutes ago, Maggie_ said:

    A buccaneer

    JUDGE: We are searching for more evidence.

    PIRATE CAPTAIN: There is none.

    JUDGE: Well, firstly, where are your buccaneers?

    PIRATE CAPTAIN: On me buccan head!

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    When you're trying to be cheesy, but everyone around you is laughtose intolerant.

    Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.

    I don't trust those trees. They seem a little shady.

    What video game do you play on the toilet? Call of Doody.

    Why did the birdie go to the hospital? Because it needed tweetment.

    Didi you know I used to be a banker? Meh, I lost interest.

    I started a band named "999 Megabites" but we haven't gotten any gigs yet.

    A blind man walks into a bar...and a table...and a chair...and people

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    • Author

    A termite walks into a tavern and says "is the bar tender here?"

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    A Sandwich walks into a bar
    Bartender says, "sorry, we don't serve food here



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    • Author

    How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.

    What kind of magic do cows believe in? MOODOO

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