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I'm hiding my surgery from family anyone else ?



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That's a great strategy. And, definitely, if someone who needs help asks about it, I'll tell them everything they need to know. I do think it's a positive step toward healing and long-term success to help others along the same journey.

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Still, no one knows I had the surgery. Only about 3 people from work and my family know I had surgery for a hiatal hernia, which I did as well. I only took a week off work and today was my first day back, which has remarkably gone really well. :) The first person I ran into asked me if I'm slimming down. :) I told them yes, and it sure isn't easy! She then wanted to know all about the diet Ive been on, which i told her about the shakes and healthy meal each day that I was doing prior to surgery, and will continue with as soon as I am able. Right now people at work just see me drinking my shakes, Water and crystal light, just like prior to surgery. People are commenting that I'm really doing good, which is nice to hear! I am trying hard to make this a success! :)

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Only 2 ppl know of mine. However, I am doing very well. If you just stick to the plan and don't go buying too many clothes real quick just go down gradually. People still notice the weight loss, they just don't talk about the method. If they do, I tell them what I've learned about healthy eating, Portion Control, and cutting carbs. I think the Protein is a huge factor. That is something I didn't know, so I make sure to pass that on as well.

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so what are people telling their family/friends when they find out you've had surgery? like a cover story? I'm trying to figure it out, I have two young sons ages 12 & 10 so i know they are going to question why I had surgery and why I'm not eating the same things as they are and why I'm only drinking my meals for the first several week and my meal habits will forever change. they are impressionable although my youngest is a toothpick but my oldest son is starting puberty so he's going through many changes so I don't want them knowing my surgery is for weight loss I've never done the body shaming or anything like that around them. so I was thinking of telling them I had to have gastrectomy surgery so I'm not completely lying to them I will have a portion of my stomach removed but for other issues and not weight loss. if my kids were younger I wouldn't worry too much about it but they are at that age where everything is questioned and simple answers will not due.

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I didn't tell anyone. I told my friends I was sick and dehydrated and didn't see them for 3 weeks. Then I started work as a teacher and couldn't see anyone because of that and my kids back in school. So no one thought it was weird. 1/2 my family lives far away and I'll see my sister this week. I've lost 30 pounds in a month but she won't even notice. So all good. Then when everyone does notice my weight loss I'll just say I've been dieting and exercising- which is true. People are too judgmental these days so I just told my husband and 3 kids who are all teenagers and are happy for me. Good luck with whatever you decide.


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6 hours ago, I AM NOT MY SIZE said:

Only told my husband and my two daughters, not my son, he's too opinionated. Didn't tell sisters, brothers, other family members or any friends. Don't want to hear their two cents worth.

How old are your kids? I have told my partner (who is also having this procedure) and 2 of my kids, but not my 19 yr old...for a few reasons. I felt odd telling my 13 and 16 yr olds, but not the oldest.

I will be hopefully scheduled early November. did you have your surgery yet?

So my question is, how old are your kids and is it odd for you to have not told the one?

I am not telling my Mom, brothers, co-workers, most friends. There are a few who I might mention it to later on down the road, maybe, but maybe not.

edit---I just saw that today is your surgey date...my birthday! Good Luck!!

Edited by ProfessorSlim

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I'm also not telling my family. I brought it up to my sister months ago and she was super negative and told me "don't even think about doing that!" that was the day I decided it was no ones business. My husband, kids and best friends know and that's it. Not telling my mother in law or coworkers. I'm just going to say I had a procedure. If they press me I'll probably say it's a sensitive subject. Anyone with respect would leave it at that.


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Only a couple of my friends know about mine, I didn't tell my dad or work colleagues


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I've told my husband and oldest son - no one else. I'm still struggling with if this is the right way to go - surgery is scheduled in October. My biggest concern is how do I share in holiday meals without being questioned as to my food choices based on where I am post-op and food amounts and if I am questioned what will my cover story be? I'm not worried about weight loss being noticed, just how slow I will be eating, what I will be eating and the amount I will eat....any thoughts :)

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6 minutes ago, kidchick said:

I've told my husband and oldest son - no one else. I'm still struggling with if this is the right way to go - surgery is scheduled in October. My biggest concern is how do I share in holiday meals without being questioned as to my food choices based on where I am post-op and food amounts and if I am questioned what will my cover story be? I'm not worried about weight loss being noticed, just how slow I will be eating, what I will be eating and the amount I will eat....any thoughts :)

I'm in the same boat. My surgery is October 6, and I should be more or less eating normal foods by Thanksgiving. I'm just going to put a modest amount on my plate, swish it around for show and count on no one noticing. Of course, my family is huge, so it's a lot easier to do things no one notices in that situation.

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Is your family not supportive? For me, I need there support. What about holidays? They will know sooner rather than later.

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My "family" used to make fun of me for being the fat one the not as pretty one and my sisters would pretend I wasn't there sister til this day because they are slender and beautiful but this year I'm skipping out on the big holiday gatherings and enjoying time at home with my boyfriend :)


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This may sound weird but I'm really glad that I'm not the only one who will not be telling my family. I was starting to feel a bit guilty about it. My kids have talked me out of it once already, telling me I'm taking the easy way out and if I have to change my lifestyle after the surgery then why not just do this without the surgery. My daughter-in-law has told me she will not support me if I get WLS. I'll tell them when I'm ready, and not a minute before.
My surgery is sometime in December. I still have 5 lbs to go before my Dr. will schedule my pre-op and there's an 8 week wait to see him, then another 2 weeks for surgery. Hopefully my family will understand that I did this for me and my health.....


I'm not telling anyone til after the fact because the ignorance and crap talk in my family is unbelievable good luck to you


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On 9/18/2017 at 7:45 PM, star2017 said:

so what are people telling their family/friends when they find out you've had surgery? like a cover story? I'm trying to figure it out, I have two young sons ages 12 & 10 so i know they are going to question why I had surgery and why I'm not eating the same things as they are and why I'm only drinking my meals for the first several week and my meal habits will forever change. they are impressionable although my youngest is a toothpick but my oldest son is starting puberty so he's going through many changes so I don't want them knowing my surgery is for weight loss I've never done the body shaming or anything like that around them. so I was thinking of telling them I had to have gastrectomy surgery so I'm not completely lying to them I will have a portion of my stomach removed but for other issues and not weight loss. if my kids were younger I wouldn't worry too much about it but they are at that age where everything is questioned and simple answers will not due.

My son is a preteen. I didn't tell him anything until the day before my surgery. I just told him that I had some doctors appointments and things, and wouldn't see him after school. I've told him that I am following a very strict diet, and he hasn't asked any questions.

I wont lie about having had surgery, but I'm not ready to tell people about it. My mom is the not one who noticed that I lost weight, and I just told her i was watching what I eat and exercising more.

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I had my surgery back in February and I still haven't told my family about it. Only a couple of friends who live in other countries (!) know. I'm not married or in a serious relationship, nor do I have kids, so I did want some people to know before surgery, just in case. Even though I haven't told my family, co-workers, and other friends and acquaintances, most people have been supportive of my weight loss efforts so far, and I'd like to keep it that way (although my parents are encouraging me to keep my old fat clothes, "just in case." I want to tell them that it's not something I will have to worry about). I did have a few people ask me if my weight loss was intentional, and I have to admit I was touched by their concern.

I've always been a private person so it's not unusual that I've kept this to myself. That said, if someone asked me specifically about it, I wouldn't lie, but I have a feeling no one will do so.

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