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On 6/30/2017 at 6:53 AM, Navigating the Wilderness said:

To the second part, if someone directly asks me I always tell them the truth. I just can't see wasting time trying to hide something I am not ashamed about doing. Of course I don't go blaring it from the roof tops, but I also don't hide it.

3

I think this is great advice and could definitely work for some folks, but it would not work for me at all. The people in my life like to gossip, judge and sabotage my weight loss efforts. I have run into a lot of problems with them with prior weight loss attempts. I tried to educate them, show them exactly what I eating and how much healthier it was than what they were eating, I told them all about how much I was working out. They manipulated my words at every turn and even accused me of doing drugs.

I decided the only person I would tell is my sister because she is understanding and I needed at least one support person. She totally understands why I do not want to tell the rest of the family. We discussed the possibility of telling them after I have lost all the weight I wanted to, but we both decided it's a bad idea. I'd rather they keep speculating. The only people I am willing to talk to about WLS is people who are actively looking into it. It just seems like talking to anyone else about it is a waste of time.

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I tell people who ask that I had half my stomach removed and some plumbing re routed. I proceed to tell them that it was the best thing I ever did and I feel 100% better and thanks for asking. If they have anything negative to say I tell them that the surgeon by law cannot sew my mouth shut so I had to settle for half a stomach.


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My body my choice. If asked I'm honest for those who want to gossip and guess I let them think the worst

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I am telling work colleagues that I am seeing a doctor and nutritionist to lose weight and have been put on a strict low carb diet with reduced portions to drop weight due.to health issues

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So I have only chosen a select few family members and friends to share this journey with. Out of that select few, only one gave me a hard time. What are you saying to the nay-Sayers and what do you plan to say to those who don't know but are asking questions about your sudden weight loss?


Of the people I chose to share with, I had one person who gave me negative feed back, and to her I said, "there is nothing easy about this. You may not agree with it but I hope u will support me." We've been ok since then.

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Gosh after reading this, I'm kind of saddened that there is such a stigma about weight loss surgery. It's just like any other surgery, it is to benefit a person's health and quality of life. Family and friends aside, no one should even bring up weight in conversation. It's your body, your business. I'm sure people will notice the change in my appearance, I'm not afraid to say I had WLS. It's going to probably be the best thing that will ever happen in my life. I'm so ready to endure the changes and let people see what a positive impact weight loss surgery can have on a person's life. Embrace this and Celebrate it girl, don't be shy, embrassed or worried. Enjoy the ride! Let people know how great the procedure is! We need to end the stigma!!!

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So I have only chosen a select few family members and friends to share this journey with. Out of that select few, only one gave me a hard time. What are you saying to the nay-Sayers and what do you plan to say to those who don't know but are asking questions about your sudden weight loss?


I guess it depends on what their reasoning is. My best friend of 14 years doesn't want me to have the surgery n "change." I think that's a cheeky way of saying she doesn't want me to stop being the fat friend out of the 2 of us. When people talk to me about the dangers I talk to them about the positive changes I'll be making in my life. I'm 4 days away from surgery and my mom, who I'm very close to so she knows how badly I want n need to do it, is reminding me around every corner that I can back out any time I want.

Yes, everything is going to change. And yes, there are dangers... but you have to think about the surgeons who have done it thousands of times before you and will do it a thousand times after you. They know what they're doing.

I've had a few people in my close circle that have tried to talk me out of it but I've managed to talk them into supporting me. I figure if they can't be involved n helpful now, for such a big life change, then how are they going to act when I'm post op and losing the weight, feeling better, being more active. Yes they're right, I will change. A LOT. But for the better because I'm miserable now.

So I guess if that one person isn't supportive then you either put in the effort to educate them n get them on board OR politely ask that they keep their negative worries to themselves for the most part.

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So I have only chosen a select few family members and friends to share this journey with. Out of that select few, only one gave me a hard time. What are you saying to the nay-Sayers and what do you plan to say to those who don't know but are asking questions about your sudden weight loss?


My mom and daughters know, I just recently told my brother after knowing for 3 months. And a very small handful of friends....the ones who saw me through breast cancer. My longest dearest friend keeps asking me if I'm sure bout surgery...i know she's uncomfortable with it but I could be a dead bestie if I don't have it. My mom is now second guessing my decision by I'm sticking to it.

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One of the worst naysayers I had is now getting her sleave by the same dr that did mine. It's hard but if it is the right decision for you then do it and don't let anyone else get in the way.

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I have told only 3 people, my reason is simple. It's no one's business but my own. 3 years ago I decided to lose the weight and I did . I changed my eating habits and with exercise, diet pills and weight loss injections, I lost about 60lbs. I kept up the exercise but the eating habits slowly came back. I got 50 million questions on the weight loss and how I did it. I was honest, shared my tips and tricks. As I begin to put the weight back on, I got twice the number of questions and OMG the co-workers begin to talk behind my back saying things like they knew I wouldn't keep it off. Anyhow, it has taken me quite some time to decide on WLS and I have done my homework, research, and for now the best thing for me is to keep quiet. I am doing it for my health mainly because I can easily become like many of my family riddled with health issues. I'm taking control of my life and doing it my way for me. So do it for you, do what is best for you. People will always talk, let them. I just keep smiling and keep it moving

I totally understand where you are coming from. I had an almost similar experience with judgmental coworkers who laughed at me when I gained back from a weight loss program that included diet, exercise and injections. Getting sleeved on July the 28th and keeping my mouth shut.



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I have told only 5 people outside of my husband and kids. My three best friends, aunt and mom are the only people who know.

Some of my other friends are judgmental about weight, as you can imagine, I don't want to have to talk about it.

They all know I have gastritis so I'll tell them that I had to lose weight quickly to resolve the heartburn and GERD. Not a lie, but...





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I tell people who ask that I had half my stomach removed and some plumbing re routed. I proceed to tell them that it was the best thing I ever did and I feel 100% better and thanks for asking. If they have anything negative to say I tell them that the surgeon by law cannot sew my mouth shut so I had to settle for half a stomach.





Lol that's what I say, too! I also say that I had a hiatal hernia repair. Works like a charm! They got their answer and I didn't lie lol

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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