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Importance of a personal advocate after surgery

I was sleeved on May 1st. Had some problems waking my bladder up. I had to be straight catheterized twice. They ended up putting in a Foley catheter which made me miserable. One of the volunteers from my surgery group who had the surgery came to visit me. I explained what was going on. She said to tell them you want to stay another night and push the issue. On top of that, my mother was pushing me to stay another night. Of course, I wanted out!

I finally came to my senses and realized I didn't want to have a catheter for a week. I said I want to stay. The resident who was on call said they wouldn't let me stay for a catheter. Then when I argued she got defensive and brought back another doctor. Again, the volunteer came back and intervened. The next thing I knew, she had my surgeon come back to the hospital.

My surgeon (who I absolutely love) came and talked to me. He suggested we take out the catheter, stay another night and see if I could urinate. If not, I would go home with the catheter. I agreed.

At around midnight, I started to go on my own! I am so glad I didn't have to come home with a catheter. The moral of the story is you have to have someone in your corner to fight for you. I'm so glad for the volunteer from my surgical group.

Also at 39, I realized that Mom still also knows best!

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That is so typical in hospitals. I have had 6 previous surgeries and one of them left me in the same state as you. This time around when I got to my room I felt I might be able to pee a bit and got up. The nurses tried to restrain me from urinating until they had a bed pan because it was a liability to have me walking so soon after surgery. I gently moved them aside and went for a glorious piss. I did not want to wait for the bedpan because I was afraid I might have a shy bladder and moving my mass to urinate in a jug would have been complicated.

Edited by Navigating the Wilderness

  • Author

It's really frustrating to be in that position. I'm just glad to be home on the way to recovery.


1 minute ago, Nynjesq said:

I'm just glad to be home on the way to recovery.

I bet! Good luck and enjoy the transformation!!

2 hours ago, Nynjesq said:

I was sleeved on May 1st. Had some problems waking my bladder up. I had to be straight catheterized twice. They ended up putting in a Foley catheter which made me miserable. One of the volunteers from my surgery group who had the surgery came to visit me. I explained what was going on. She said to tell them you want to stay another night and push the issue. On top of that, my mother was pushing me to stay another night. Of course, I wanted out!

I finally came to my senses and realized I didn't want to have a catheter for a week. I said I want to stay. The resident who was on call said they wouldn't let me stay for a catheter. Then when I argued she got defensive and brought back another doctor. Again, the volunteer came back and intervened. The next thing I knew, she had my surgeon come back to the hospital.

My surgeon (who I absolutely love) came and talked to me. He suggested we take out the catheter, stay another night and see if I could urinate. If not, I would go home with the catheter. I agreed.

At around midnight, I started to go on my own! I am so glad I didn't have to come home with a catheter. The moral of the story is you have to have someone in your corner to fight for you. I'm so glad for the volunteer from my surgical group.

Also at 39, I realized that Mom still also knows best!

I'm 41 (40 on surgery day), and, trust me, my mama was sitting right next to me the whole time. She would have gone into the OR if they would have let her. (And I wouldn't have had it any other way...)

I had a night nurse on my first night post-op who refused to give me pain meds all night because my pain "wasn't that bad" and that I "can't expect to be pain free after having THAT surgery". Unluckily for her, even though that night I was too in pain and tired to do anything about her, the next day my RN mom was there and knew exactly how and to whom to raise hell.

She was scheduled to work the next night but someone else was there in her place (I heard the nurses talking about it at the desk). I'm of the opinion that medical staff need to be treated with the utmost respect and patience because they have hard jobs... but that doesn't mean you should let them treat you however they like. you have rights as a patient. and having someone there to advocate for you when you're in a compromising position can really help you get what you need.

  • Author

I had the best nurses, and techs. It's just the interns, residents etc. They really should teach them about bedside manner. It really goes a long way when you're that vulnerable.

As for your nurse, she should have been fired! The staff kept wanting to give me more pain meds so I would be up and walking laps around the floor! I have been trying to stay off the pain meds the best I can at this point. I'm down to one 4mg dilaudid every 4-6 hours.


My one complaint about the nursing staff was that they were giving me ice chips not ice water. When my surgeon saw that he flipped out. Apparently chewing ice chips introduces air to your stomach, something which I sure didn't need! There I was happily crunching away and wondering why I looked like a balloon ready to pop!


teacupnosaucer May I suggest you call the hospital and ask for the administrator - and b***h up a storm about that nurse, it's too late for you now but think about the next 100 patients that she treats that way. Totally unacceptable. When I had my band removed in 2010, I was in the hospital in February in Florida when every older person in the state is in the hospital for the flu, and the nursing staff was crap at Pasco Regional Medical Center. My roommate died in the middle of the night and took 8 hours for them to take him away. I could not get my pain meds. At 3 am i called my wife and told her they were trying to kill me. She called the surgeon at home, woke him and told him to get his butt up the hospital. Around 4:30 am i heard him screaming at the nursing staff to do their jobs and take care of the patients - i had a PCA within 15 minutes - My pain was extreme when having the band removed because it had eroded and I had developed peritonitis. I spent 6 days in the hospital 5 on a morphine PCA. Help save the next person from going through what you went through

neyney1960 I do think it really depends on the surgeon. Had VSG on 5/1 and the surgeon put me on ice chips as I was waking up in recovery. Who knows, they all do it differently.

I'm on the chopping block in a few days for VSG (Tuesday 5/9). This conversation has me nervous. Yikes!

  • Author
I'm on the chopping block in a few days for VSG (Tuesday 5/9). This conversation has me nervous. Yikes!

Don't be nervous! Just don't be afraid to say something if you don't like what's happening. It's easier when someone you trust is there to make a stink.


On May 5, 2017 at 4:13 PM, blizair09 said:

'm 41 (40 on surgery day), and, trust me, my mama was sitting right next to me the whole time. She would have gone into the OR if they would have let her. (And I wouldn't have had it any other way...)

Mine is 81, I'm 56, right next to me and my husband, lol, nothing would have kept her away.

On 2017-05-06 at 7:24 AM, luckylimey said:

teacupnosaucer May I suggest you call the hospital and ask for the administrator - and b***h up a storm about that nurse, it's too late for you now but think about the next 100 patients that she treats that way. Totally unacceptable. When I had my band removed in 2010, I was in the hospital in February in Florida when every older person in the state is in the hospital for the flu, and the nursing staff was crap at Pasco Regional Medical Center. My roommate died in the middle of the night and took 8 hours for them to take him away. I could not get my pain meds. At 3 am i called my wife and told her they were trying to kill me. She called the surgeon at home, woke him and told him to get his butt up the hospital. Around 4:30 am i heard him screaming at the nursing staff to do their jobs and take care of the patients - i had a PCA within 15 minutes - My pain was extreme when having the band removed because it had eroded and I had developed peritonitis. I spent 6 days in the hospital 5 on a morphine PCA. Help save the next person from going through what you went through

I filed a formal complaint, don't worry. The charge nurse was into see me within an hour of me making my complaint, and gave me her card as well. DEFINITELY important to follow up on stuff like this for the sake of other patients, I agree!

On 2017-05-06 at 8:07 AM, LittleSomethingNew said:

I'm on the chopping block in a few days for VSG (Tuesday 5/9). This conversation has me nervous. Yikes!

don't be nervous! the vast majority of healthcare staff will do an excellent job taking good care of you. instead of worrying, just take it in as a chance to be proactive and make a plan now that if there's something unacceptable about your care, you have a right to speak up!

  • 4 weeks later...

I was very lucky - I had the most wonderful nurse my first night and she was a godsend! I didn't even have to ask for pain meds she had them ready for me. I felt like every time I woke up she was standing there. I didn't sleep much, and then at 2am they brought in a new patient as my roommate. Right away she gave me ear plugs and eye shades and I was able to fall asleep again. The next morning they moved me to a different room way down at the end of the hallway. I had to beg for someone to take me to the bathroom. One time I barely made it. Totally different staff. I decided to go home. So glad I did.

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