Today was my first encounter with someone asking me this. I was at work & just rambling about weight loss & how many ounces an average stomach can hold. Then out of the blue, a coworker asked me the dreaded question that I was hopeful I could avoid.

DID YOU HAVE THE LAPBAND???‍♀️

Now I had already prepared myself for when this question that I was avoiding was asked, but I had to step back & really ask myself

1. Do I fess up?

2. Ask them how is this of pertinence to them?

3. Do I lie?

Oh oh my goodness, the only response I could muster was "Maby I did, maby I didn't". I don't know why I even give two damns about others opinions but maby it stems from the last journey I had trying to shred the EL ?. People at my previous job accused me of starving myself & I feel people generally have a negative view in regards to bariatric surgery.

Just had had to share for those who kept it a secret. P.S I eat lunch with coworkers and sometimes in my office but it's been hard to hide why I eat the way I do. I won't be the first nor the last to undergo WLS. We should be proud of our decisions & yet should still maintain secrecy if we CHOOSE.

3 hours ago, Deactivatedfatgal said:

Today was my first encounter with someone asking me this. I was at work & just rambling about weight loss & how many ounces an average stomach can hold. Then out of the blue, a coworker asked me the dreaded question that I was hopeful I could avoid.

DID YOU HAVE THE LAPBAND???‍♀️

Now I had already prepared myself for when this question that I was avoiding was asked, but I had to step back & really ask myself

1. Do I fess up?

2. Ask them how is this of pertinence to them?

3. Do I lie?

Oh oh my goodness, the only response I could muster was "Maby I did, maby I didn't". I don't know why I even give two damns about others opinions but maby it stems from the last journey I had trying to shred the EL ?. People at my previous job accused me of starving myself & I feel people generally have a negative view in regards to bariatric surgery.

Just had had to share for those who kept it a secret. P.S I eat lunch with coworkers and sometimes in my office but it's been hard to hide why I eat the way I do. I won't be the first nor the last to undergo WLS. We should be proud of our decisions & yet should still maintain secrecy if we CHOOSE.

People are rude and intrusive. I would never ask if someone had undergone WLS, just as I would never ask if someone was pregnant.

I'm honestly not sure how I would have responded, either. I guess I need to start thinking about that and have some answers ready to go. It doesn't help that I work for a sizable company and rumors travel quickly. I have had to tell my superiors and my direct reports for obvious reasons. Sigh.

I was at a GNC looking for protein shakes and the store worker just randomly recommended that a lot of bariatric patients use these shakes/vitamins.....I didn't say sh*t to her except where are the protein shakes. Embarrassing!

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Haven't had surgery yet but have already been asked if that's what I'm planning to do. My response in a curious tone was: are YOU?

And that worked so well that I think I'm going to use that for after surgery as well. If someone asks if I had WLS, I will look confused and say "have you?" I feel like it's an odd question to ask and I can't imagine a scenario where it's appropriate to ask (when the person hasn't told anyone nor brought it up). So I will turn the table so they can hear the question from another perspective.

Might sound bad and I'm ok with that. This is the one thing I will keep to myself and I am not obligated to answer anyone's curiosity. If we ask the question back politely, sincerely, and curiously, it's not defensive nor inappropriate.

HW: 328 (02/22/17)

SW: TBD

CW: 288

Pounds disowned to date: 40

@b.Annie - i can totally relate!! only 5 people knew I was having/had the surgery and I didn't tell anyone else. It's no one's business. Luckily no one has come out right to ask me but I see them questioning how I lost the weight so quickly. Love the pounds disowned!!

So funny that i am reading this today. I went to see my rhuematoid doctor yesterday first time since surgery i was excited to report back to her that some of my pain was gradually going away hooray! However when going over the meds i no longer take with the assistant she turns and tells me that they were also all on diets and that she was going to win because she had already lost 65 pounds the natuaral way all on her own! Just pure hard work and it was coming off. I said good for you if i could have done it naturally i would have however having the surgery has been alot of hard work too. It does not just come off. I wanted to really rip into her but opted to take the high road. Then when it was time to draw blood i realized that everyone knew about my surgery the lady that drew my blood kept telling me that now that i was skinny my life would change. This enraged me being that yes i have lost weight i would not consider my self skinny i am still considered obese. She just kept throwing that skinny word around over and over. I could not wait to get out of there for fear of blowing my top (not pretty the beast comes out and yes i just saw split lol) how unproffessional of these people if there were another specialist near by i would change doctors. They took something wonderful to me and poked at it till they were content. I still had a sense of pride however i was able to walk out of there with no blood pressure and normal sugar levels not needing more pain meds HA!

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I started weight watchers at work before surgery- we meet downstairs so people haven't given me much grief about losing weight - because it's Weight watchers... I told people when I had the lapband a few years ago- but have decided not to tell anyone this time... minus 2 people ( the one that took me to the hospital and a great friend who lives in another state who is very supportive) it's horrible how we have to defend out decisions to become healthier...

Maybe try telling them you are sick...and that you are doing everything you can to get better but talking about it tires you out...

Where I work everyone gossips and I've been dreading this converstation... So I came up with a plan of action during my 6month pre op I took a walk everyday at lunch and made sure people saw me, I drank Lean Body Protein Shakes for breakfast and lunch and made sure ppl saw me. I took the stairs 5 flights up instead of the elevator everyday and you guessed made sure ppl saw me. Now when people ask if I lost weight I can say why yes "enter lbs lost" since July... Thursday is my 1st day back at work I took a week and a half so only time will tell if my plan will work.

2 hours ago, hardwork&dedication said:

Maybe try telling them you are sick...and that you are doing everything you can to get better but talking about it tires you out...

"I'm sick.."

".. sick of you asking me about my WLS".

9 years ago I was sick, my diabetes was out of control but for some reason my weight dropped dramatically. Like from 250 to 120 in the space of about 18 months. I was in awful shape but slim. My gall bladder went during that time and I had it removed. With insulin I was able to gain back to a healthier weight but then it didn't stop.

I told different people last fall that I was having surgery. One woman I told has struggled with weight as well and asked me about it very genuinely, but then added, but it didn't "take" the last time you had it done. I had to gently explain that I hadn't had surgery in the past. She said that I was all the talk back then and the consensus was I had sleeve surgery.

I assured her this was my first rodeo with surgery. She was embarrassed. She was the last peripheral person I told. She keeps in touch with me and she's doing things a different but equally difficult way.

I also get angry when people think this is the easy way. I want to say "yep, I allowed an invasive surgery just for kicks". And then stare them down.

Drastic weight loss is a symptom of runaway diabetes. My brother in law had this happen. He was eating a ton, but he was losing tons of weight.

He already knew he had diabetes but wasn't seeing the doctor. We told him he was losing weight because of the disease, but he didn't believe us! He was used to his insulin-dependent diabetic father gaining weight.

My BIL developed neuropathy and had a stroke within a year. He is doing better, but he went from a strong, able bodied contractor to a dude that rides the cart in the grocery store.

Why do diabetics lose weight? The cells refuse to accept the energy (sugar) from food. The cells are starving! So the body starts digging into its fat stores, trying to feed those cells. The sugar from food gets excreted in the urine, that's why they drink, pee, drink all the time.

15 hours ago, OutsideMatchInside said:

I think men do so well with surgery because a lot of them are heavy meat eaters anyway. If they have to give up the potato but can still have the steak, they don't mind. Most men seem to thrive on a high Protein diet.

My dr asked my how I eat before surgery. I told him I didn't snack and I liked to have 2 big meals a day. He said I would be successful with surgery since I wasn't a snacker/grazer like most women.

My eating habits have always been leaning towards healthy proteins. Chicken, Fish, some red meat (not a lot).

Like most, and I'm half Italian, I grew up eating a lot of bad carbs. Pasta and bread were a main part of my childhood -- having an Italian mother that would make her own pasta, well, you get it... Bad carbs have always been an issue for me. When you grow up around homemade pasta, it's hard not to pack on weight. That stuff is just pure evil.

Now when and if I eat that? It's maybe 2-3 ounces of it, that's it -- taste it, move on to something better.

I never was much for sweets, candy or deserts. Snacking was something I always did when I was working later at night and burning the midnight oil. I never really did snack just to snack. I ate when I was hungry, sure.

But to "graze" wasn't something I ever did.

I've been reading the comments in this thread from (mostly) women. It's a bit shocking to me to read as I'm learning that the surgery is more a personal and private than I ever approached it.

It's interesting to read that women here are almost embarrassed about the surgery, like it's shameful to think you had this surgery and that somehow you failed in life?

That really is something I can't quite understand because the approach here really should be about "failure". I feel like the men I've talked to have not had this stigma -- what I'm learning here is that for women, it's a completely different experience and much more about how society treats women.

That's been an eye opener to me.

Drastic weight loss is a symptom of runaway diabetes. My brother in law had this happen. He was eating a ton, but he was losing tons of weight.
He already knew he had diabetes but wasn't seeing the doctor. We told him he was losing weight because of the disease, but he didn't believe us! He was used to his insulin-dependent diabetic father gaining weight.
My BIL developed neuropathy and had a stroke within a year. He is doing better, but he went from a strong, able bodied contractor to a dude that rides the cart in the grocery store.
Why do diabetics lose weight? The cells refuse to accept the energy (sugar) from food. The cells are starving! So the body starts digging into its fat stores, trying to feed those cells. The sugar from food gets excreted in the urine, that's why they drink, pee, drink all the time.

I agree! I was in denial. And I didn't even learn my lesson until a few years later when I almost died from diabetic ketoacidosis.

Thankfully I've had a "come to Jesus" talk with myself and got courage to do what I needed. So far, the only complication I have has been in my eyes and thats improving.

I like the "resting b****" answer to any questions about wls. I haven't told anyone outside my girlfriend not even family. Thankfully I have been already losing weight for years on my own and I'm thinking everyone will just think I've been doing this for awhile so they won't ask. My girl and I were talking this morning on the drive to get my surgery, today, 5/3/17, and she said prepare yourself because people will ask after the surgery. I don't have a resting b face but I have perfected the don't F look at me face, thanks to my line of work [emoji4]

6 minutes ago, longway2go said:

I like the "resting b****" answer to any questions about wls. I haven't told anyone outside my girlfriend not even family. Thankfully I have been already losing weight for years on my own and I'm thinking everyone will just think I've been doing this for awhile so they won't ask. My girl and I were talking this morning on the drive to get my surgery, today, 5/3/17, and she said prepare yourself because people will ask after the surgery. I don't have a resting b face but I have perfected the don't F look at me face, thanks to my line of work

Congrats on your journey! Hope all is well. And people will assume no matter what, ya only live once & im loving my decision:)