Hi Guys, I am a 33 yr. old female and mother to wonderful, over the top 2 yr. old. I have recently been researching wls and know a few people that have had success and decided to look into the procedure. My issue is I haven't told many of my intentions, my mother and my sister. My sister was not over the top thrilled but understood and mentioned she'd looked into wls also not the sleeve but the balloon because I think it's no operation. Anyway, of course my mother is completely against it. We had a small conversation but she really didn't take into consideration what I was saying but rather focused on negatives that she's heard. One in particular of someone dying and another of someone not being able to walk. Now believe me, death is far from what I want on my mind, but she's right, it's surgery and freak accidents happen all the time. But she also uses the fact that I don't want anything to happen to me and I can't take care of my daughter. And to add salt to the wound, lastly my daughters father and I have never seen eye to eye, so she says if anything should happen to me he most likely would take her and she (mother) would never see her again. I want this surgery. I stand 5'8 about 280 but last year was my heaviest at 295 and I never want to be there again. I know there are complications, but death is not one I'm will to gamble with. I love my mother dearly and she is truly my only support system. I don't know what to do. I've met with the surgeon, had my labs, ekg, swallow test, upper GI, all that's left is to meet with the psychologist. Can someone take a swing on this situation??? What do you think.

On a good day I'm fine, but then I turn around and see my back

It's actually fairly simple. Generally speaking people are scared of surgery, as you said, due to the possibility of death. My guess is after the surgery, once you make it through, and you will, your mother will no longer have that anxiety of losing a daughter and unless she is a total psycho will come to support your decision and support you. According to your post she has been supportive in the past, and there is no reason to think she will not support you post-op, correct?

How about bring your mother with you to a support group meeting or two? Maybe a conversation or two with people who are on their way, and people who have been through it will help.

My mom and whole family was against it the entire time. It was so frustrating. However I did it for me and only me and made up my mind. Had a friend take me to the hospital the day of surgery and sure enough my mom showed up as well to be there and has been supportive since.

I took the pros and benefits from my program/surgeon to my family. It's safer than child birth or gallbladder removal. It adds more years to your life than heart surgery. Can prevent and help illnesses. Play that up.

All surgery is scary and has inherent risks. I'm sure your mother is just scared for you. I would argue that you'd be having WLS for your daughter also - so you can be healthy and be around to watch her grow up, be able to keep up with her, and to set an example of a healthy lifestyle.

Hi Guys, I am a 33 yr. old female and mother to wonderful, over the top 2 yr. old. I have recently been researching wls and know a few people that have had success and decided to look into the procedure. My issue is I haven't told many of my intentions, my mother and my sister. My sister was not over the top thrilled but understood and mentioned she'd looked into wls also not the sleeve but the balloon because I think it's no operation. Anyway, of course my mother is completely against it. We had a small conversation but she really didn't take into consideration what I was saying but rather focused on negatives that she's heard. One in particular of someone dying and another of someone not being able to walk. Now believe me, death is far from what I want on my mind, but she's right, it's surgery and freak accidents happen all the time. But she also uses the fact that I don't want anything to happen to me and I can't take care of my daughter. And to add salt to the wound, lastly my daughters father and I have never seen eye to eye, so she says if anything should happen to me he most likely would take her and she (mother) would never see her again. I want this surgery. I stand 5'8 about 280 but last year was my heaviest at 295 and I never want to be there again. I know there are complications, but death is not one I'm will to gamble with. I love my mother dearly and she is truly my only support system. I don't know what to do. I've met with the surgeon, had my labs, ekg, swallow test, upper GI, all that's left is to meet with the psychologist. Can someone take a swing on this situation??? What do you think.

Do this for you. No one wanted me to do it either. Its a tough road, but its getting easier! You are the only person who can tell what is truly right for you. Go with your gut. We are all here for you!

Sent from my SM-G928T using BariatricPal mobile app

Do this for you. No one wanted me to do it either. Its a tough road, but its getting easier! You are the only person who can tell what is truly right for you. Go with your gut. We are all here for you!

Sent from my SM-G928T using BariatricPal mobile app

Thank you so much, jaimevondawson

Sounds like your mom is scared to lose you. Just means she loves you as she should. I agree, take her to a support meeting or two. My family was scared too, but once they really got to looking at the facts. What my quality of life was at 370lbs and what my life expectancy was with my co-morbidities. By the time surgery rolled around they were all for it.