Rant: I had gastric sleeve surgery 12/2/2015. My highest weight was 307 pounds and my current weight is roughly 194 pounds. I moved to Florida late last year after my divorce and I have received the most attention I have ever gotten in my life. Guys would stare, give me a compliment or speak but never ask me out. A friend suggested I try online dating. I tried eHarmony, Plenty of Fish, Ok Cupid and Black People Meet. I made sure to have friends look at my profile so they could tell me if my online profile was decent or not. I do not talk provocative and my pictures are appropriate.

I have gotten rid of every profile except eHarmony, but as soon as my subscription ends, I will cancel that too. I have gone on a few dates and the men who ask me out are nothing but freaking liars! They are either conceited, selfish, demanding or downright just looking for sex. My profile clearly states I am looking for a relationship, yet guys would ask to exchange pictures without even asking me for my name. And the guys who say they want a relationship on their profile eventually show their true colors and in the end you find out that they're just looking for someone to jump in bed with. Matter of fact, men would ask me to come visit them or if they could visit me, and that's just after communicating on the first day. WTF??? Are you not concerned about diseases??? The last guy who sent me a message on POF (Plenty of Fish) asked to meet him for drinks and was incapable of holding an decent conversation. I told him it was obvious he was looking for a hook-up and that's not me, and I wished him the best.

I have gotten to the point where I am no longer interested in dating. Some people has found the love of their life online but I don't think it's for me. I have accepted the fact that being single is the way to go, that way I won't have to bother with being disappointed.

Ok, rant over. LOL.

With that being said, I am looking for friends, just people to hang out with. Anyone want to just have coffee? I am a sucker for a good coffee, Cappuccino or latte. If you're in South Florida, let's grab a cup, as a friend

With that being said, I am looking for friends, just people to hang out with. Anyone want to just have coffee? I am a sucker for a good coffee, Cappuccino or latte. If you're in South Florida, let's grab a cup, as a friend [emoji4]

If I lived in South Florida, I'd so be your friend!

I know this is cliche but I do believe true love happens when you least expect it. My fiancé found me 12 years ago when I didn't give a rat's a$$ about love. I think when you live life for the moment, things will just fit.

I never done online dating but for me, I'm way too "old school". I've met people online (for friendship) & from my experience, people aren't always what they "post" to be. I couldn't do online dating if it were an option, but that's just me.


Height: 5'0"
Weight for WLS consultation: 216 lbs.
Surgery date: 2/13/17
Goal: -71 lbs for healthy BMI (about 145 lbs).
Current weight: 160 lbs
My profile picture is not me. It's my "FITspiration" body.

1 hour ago, OutsideMatchInside said:

Where we live there are free parks and museums and outdoor events almost every single day. You don't have to spend money on a first date. I would rather walk in a park than have coffee.

Guys that invite you on coffee dates are intellectually lazy.

Coffee dates are for cowards. The kid of guys that ask you out for coffee are the kind of guys that are going to take you to dinner and to the movies or something else equally boring.

While I agree with your statements about museums and outdoor events I find your remarks about coffee dates being for cowards and intellectually lazy to be rather harsh. I choose these venues because its a safe place to meet, additionally living in Alaska, weather is always a consideration on outdoor activities. To issue a blanket statement that guys are intellectually lazy when my sole purpose is to sit with you and communicate and get to know you sounds quite the opposite.

Again I would agree with you that movies and dinner dates are boring and revolving around food is not the best route to take. First or second dates really should be centered around getting to know someone. Communication is the most important thing. If they can't hold a conversation, date over.

4 hours ago, russdroppings said:

While I agree with your statements about museums and outdoor events I find your remarks about coffee dates being for cowards and intellectually lazy to be rather harsh. I choose these venues because its a safe place to meet, additionally living in Alaska, weather is always a consideration on outdoor activities. To issue a blanket statement that guys are intellectually lazy when my sole purpose is to sit with you and communicate and get to know you sounds quite the opposite.

Again I would agree with you that movies and dinner dates are boring and revolving around food is not the best route to take. First or second dates really should be centered around getting to know someone. Communication is the most important thing. If they can't hold a conversation, date over.

I live in a completely different area of the country than you do. I also know exactly what kind of man I want. I have cultivated my habits to streamline the process. The kind of dates I want and the kind of man I want is specific to my needs and desire. I'm making a blanket statement that reflects my opinion on what I think is a boring date that I won't even accept anymore ever.

I have a lot of dating options, I could book 2 dates a night for weeks if I felt like it and had the free time. I have to create a process to weed people out fast.

I am self employed and my time is very valuable. Any free time I have is time I choose to turn into free time. I can literally work every waking hour of the day and make money. So a date has to be worth my time.

I cannot get to know someone in a Coffee house. I have hired lots of people and I am great at conducting interviews but a Coffee House date is just an interview. I would rather evaluate someone doing an activity so I can get a better gauge on their personality, temperament and problem solving skills.

Anyone who isn't an idiot can pass the HR interview, a coffee house date to me is the HR interview. Just sitting in at a table not much is going to happen, maybe a waitress is going to come by once or twice and you can evaluate how they treat the server, and maybe see if they know how to tip, that's it.

An activity it the technical interview and that is where people always trip up. If they can't find a parking spot, how do they react? If someone bumps into them, how do they react? Are they kind to people they don't have to be kind to? If we do something competitive and I win, how do they react. If we are being active can they keep up? If I can't keep up with them being active (those dudes with long legs) how do they treat me? In a museum, do they actually know the arts? Are they well traveled? (anyone can fake these things with direct questions but not in an active environment) Can they appreciate a play? Even one with low production values (like a HS play)? Shakespeare in the park is going on (and free), do they know this play? Can they understand this play? What is their favorite play?

The level of creativity of a first or second date says a lot about a persons personality and their compatibility with me and most of all how serious they are. I am a very adventurous and high energy person. I'm also aggressive and assertive. I'll run circles around someone that can't keep up. Been there done that and don't want to deal with that kind of resentment.

If I was still just looking for someone to hang out with, then coffee dates or whatever wouldn't matter. I am, well was, looking for a real true match and they have to meet certain criteria.

I've run across too many middle aged men he want to sit in the house and do ???? I have always been a person that likes to be out and about and active, even when I was a whale. I want someone plugged into to what is going on and what s happening that likes to be out and do things. A guy like that doesn't drag you to a Coffee House, someones boring ex-husband does.

I feel the same way exactly which is also why I decided to stay single for the past ten years. I don't need or have the time to deal with dating. Right now I am 55 been there done that and I'm loving not having to deal with anyone else's crap. I'm not patient and I want what I want, I've learned not to settle after some 30 years. I'm a slow learner lol. Thank you for saying what I've felt for such a long time. It's nice to know someone else feels like I do. I also have two elderly parents, I live with my family because I am so happy here. This is the happiest I've ever been in my life. We all pay for the mortgage and I also take care of my dad who now has ahlzeimers and dementia, I fix his coffee, breakfast and lunch and dinner. I also take care of all of the upkeep on our house, painting the railings, mowing the lawn and whatever else is needed. I just haven't met anyone worth spending time with and where would I put them in my life. I believe God will intervene when he sees fit, I just don't have the time, nor do I want to make the time for someone whose going to make me resent the time I wasted. Thanks for saying what I've felt for so long I thought I was weird for feeling this way but I'm definitely not alone. TFS!

Sent from my N9519 using BariatricPal mobile app

On ‎5‎/‎22‎/‎2017 at 6:23 PM, OutsideMatchInside said:

I live in a completely different area of the country than you do. I also know exactly what kind of man I want. I have cultivated my habits to streamline the process. The kind of dates I want and the kind of man I want is specific to my needs and desire. I'm making a blanket statement that reflects my opinion on what I think is a boring date that I won't even accept anymore ever.

I have a lot of dating options, I could book 2 dates a night for weeks if I felt like it and had the free time. I have to create a process to weed people out fast.

I am self employed and my time is very valuable. Any free time I have is time I choose to turn into free time. I can literally work every waking hour of the day and make money. So a date has to be worth my time.

I cannot get to know someone in a Coffee house. I have hired lots of people and I am great at conducting interviews but a Coffee House date is just an interview. I would rather evaluate someone doing an activity so I can get a better gauge on their personality, temperament and problem solving skills.

Anyone who isn't an idiot can pass the HR interview, a coffee house date to me is the HR interview. Just sitting in at a table not much is going to happen, maybe a waitress is going to come by once or twice and you can evaluate how they treat the server, and maybe see if they know how to tip, that's it.

An activity it the technical interview and that is where people always trip up. If they can't find a parking spot, how do they react? If someone bumps into them, how do they react? Are they kind to people they don't have to be kind to? If we do something competitive and I win, how do they react. If we are being active can they keep up? If I can't keep up with them being active (those dudes with long legs) how do they treat me? In a museum, do they actually know the arts? Are they well traveled? (anyone can fake these things with direct questions but not in an active environment) Can they appreciate a play? Even one with low production values (like a HS play)? Shakespeare in the park is going on (and free), do they know this play? Can they understand this play? What is their favorite play?

The level of creativity of a first or second date says a lot about a persons personality and their compatibility with me and most of all how serious they are. I am a very adventurous and high energy person. I'm also aggressive and assertive. I'll run circles around someone that can't keep up. Been there done that and don't want to deal with that kind of resentment.

If I was still just looking for someone to hang out with, then coffee dates or whatever wouldn't matter. I am, well was, looking for a real true match and they have to meet certain criteria.

I've run across too many middle aged men he want to sit in the house and do ???? I have always been a person that likes to be out and about and active, even when I was a whale. I want someone plugged into to what is going on and what s happening that likes to be out and do things. A guy like that doesn't drag you to a Coffee House, someones boring ex-husband does.

What is so entertaining about your writing is you are describing many of the things I enjoy Very into Shakespeare, my favorite composition being the short play titled: Titus Andronicus. Museums and art galleries are in rare supply here, there are a few but they are limited. In my travels I have experienced many and have developed an appreciation for the various forms of human expression through a wide array of art mediums.

Like you I am not a fan of sitting home with nothing to do, but sometimes mother nature decides to hit us with weather and remind me who is in control. An interesting observation was when you mentioned being competitive as I have seen some people become unglued when they can't win at whatever their competing at. I don't comprehend that behavior unless they are control freaks. I have never been that competitive, I enjoy the company, just don't care if I win or lose as long as the company is fun to be around. I get where you're coming from with the intent of your writing and I realize it's a case of "if the shoe fits..." since I am the furthest example from being "someone's boring ex-husband".

I thought a lot about what you wrote and if I did not live near a major city my dating experiences and expectations would be completely different.

Where I live now there are more college educated professional men in my age range that are single than women. Also where I live these women just aren't that attractive and usually are divorced with kids. I'm attractive, educated, no kids, business owner, and a good time. I have a huge competitive advantage where I live.

I have friends all over the country and I know it's not the same everywhere. I can be ultra selective because I have a lot of choices.

7 hours ago, OutsideMatchInside said:

I thought a lot about what you wrote and if I did not live near a major city my dating experiences and expectations would be completely different.

Where I live now there are more college educated professional men in my age range that are single than women. Also where I live these women just aren't that attractive and usually are divorced with kids. I'm attractive, educated, no kids, business owner, and a good time. I have a huge competitive advantage where I live.

I have friends all over the country and I know it's not the same everywhere. I can be ultra selective because I have a lot of choices.

@OutsideMatchInside - Where do you live? I'm moving because where I am it's the opposite! XD