Lexigurl82

Hi guys, I had my gastric sleeve surgery in December 2015. I have lost 116 pounds, however I have about 30-40 more pounds to lose. The visceral fat around my belly is extremely annoying and hard to get rid of as as well. Someone suggested Nutrisystem to help shock my body and trigger weight loss. For my veteran weight loss surgery peoples, have any of you tried anything like keto, nutrisystem, weight watchers after your surgery?

Nope, no work/church prospects. I honestly have just given up. No more online dating for me. I am old school too But no one wants to be friends first anymore. They want to sleep with you first, THEN decide if they want to date you. It's so backwards.

Lol really? I've been told Tinder was worse than POF. And I didn't think anything was worse than POF... those dudes are disgusting

my tummy is still noisy and I am a year and 4 months out, I don't think there's anything we can do about it

I had the sleeve and I am a year and 4 months out. No regrets other than not having this surgery sooner. I am 110+ pounds down from my highest weight, the smallest I have been since high school (and I will be 35 this weekend). I say go for it, it will be one of the best decisions you'll make.

Rant: I had gastric sleeve surgery 12/2/2015. My highest weight was 307 pounds and my current weight is roughly 194 pounds. I moved to Florida late last year after my divorce and I have received the most attention I have ever gotten in my life. Guys would stare, give me a compliment or speak but never ask me out. A friend suggested I try online dating. I tried eHarmony, Plenty of Fish, Ok Cupid and Black People Meet. I made sure to have friends look at my profile so they could tell me if my online profile was decent or not. I do not talk provocative and my pictures are appropriate. I have gotten rid of every profile except eHarmony, but as soon as my subscription ends, I will cancel that too. I have gone on a few dates and the men who ask me out are nothing but freaking liars! They are either conceited, selfish, demanding or downright just looking for sex. My profile clearly states I am looking for a relationship, yet guys would ask to exchange pictures without even asking me for my name. And the guys who say they want a relationship on their profile eventually show their true colors and in the end you find out that they're just looking for someone to jump in bed with. Matter of fact, men would ask me to come visit them or if they could visit me, and that's just after communicating on the first day. WTF??? Are you not concerned about diseases??? The last guy who sent me a message on POF (Plenty of Fish) asked to meet him for drinks and was incapable of holding an decent conversation. I told him it was obvious he was looking for a hook-up and that's not me, and I wished him the best. I have gotten to the point where I am no longer interested in dating. Some people has found the love of their life online but I don't think it's for me. I have accepted the fact that being single is the way to go, that way I won't have to bother with being disappointed. Ok, rant over. LOL. With that being said, I am looking for friends, just people to hang out with. Anyone want to just have coffee? I am a sucker for a good coffee, Cappuccino or latte. If you're in South Florida, let's grab a cup, as a friend

Rant: I had gastric sleeve surgery 12/2/2015. My highest weight was 307 pounds and my current weight is roughly 194 pounds. I moved to Florida late last year after my divorce and I have received the most attention I have ever gotten in my life. Guys would stare, give me a compliment or speak but never ask me out. A friend suggested I try online dating. I tried eHarmony, Plenty of Fish, Ok Cupid and Black People Meet. I made sure to have friends look at my profile so they could tell me if my online profile was decent or not. I do not talk provocative and my pictures are appropriate. I have gotten rid of every profile except eHarmony, but as soon as my subscription ends, I will cancel that too. I have gone on a few dates and the men who ask me out are nothing but freaking liars! They are either conceited, selfish, demanding or downright just looking for sex. My profile clearly states I am looking for a relationship, yet guys would ask to exchange pictures without even asking me for my name. And the guys who say they want a relationship on their profile eventually show their true colors and in the end you find out that they're just looking for someone to jump in bed with. Matter of fact, men would ask me to come visit them or if they could visit me, and that's just after communicating on the first day. WTF??? Are you not concerned about diseases??? The last guy who sent me a message on POF (Plenty of Fish) asked to meet him for drinks and was incapable of holding an decent conversation. I told him it was obvious he was looking for a hook-up and that's not me, and I wished him the best. I have gotten to the point where I am no longer interested in dating. Some people has found the love of their life online but I don't think it's for me. I have accepted the fact that being single is the way to go, that way I won't have to bother with being disappointed. Ok, rant over. LOL. With that being said, I am looking for friends, just people to hang out with. Anyone want to just have coffee? I am a sucker for a good coffee, Cappuccino or latte. If you're in South Florida, let's grab a cup, as a friend

One of my younger sister's graduated yesterday and my brother, who I haven't seen in nearly 2 years told me how good I looked. Another sister who saw me yesterday said she almost didn't recognize me lol. Later that night she sent me a heartfelt text saying that she can see my new confidence and asked that I continue to embrace it. Her text meant a lot to me considering the fact that she and I didn't always have a close knit relationship. Her encouragement made me feel good enough to keep going forward in my weight loss process

@@LMSWNYC Sounds like you have a insecure husband and due to his low self esteem and low confidence, he does not like the new you. Whatever happens, do not stop living a healthy lifestyle. As someone above mentioned, divorce isn't uncommon after bariatric surgery. Once you begin to lose weight, you start to gain confidence and realize your self worth. I had the gastric sleeve performed in December 2015. 3 weeks after my surgery, my husband and I separated and he blamed he surgery when in fact, he was the issue. I had not lost that much weight, as I was only 3 weeks out from surgery. A month later, I filed for a divorce. We were married for 7 years too long. When I married my ex husband 7 years ago, I was already overweight. I had no self esteem, no confidence. He on the other hand was not overweight, educated and said he wanted to marry me. I grabbed him by the coat tails because I didn't think anyone else would want me since I was overweight. Every year that we were married, I continued to gain weight because I was extremely unhappy and depressed in our marriage. His actions kept me on edge and I was thrown in competitions with women and his porn addiction. After I had my surgery, I sat down with him and asked him to change his ways or lose me forever. He refused to stop watching porn and also rejected me in the process, yet he insisted he loved me. I left home thinking he would change but he got worse. He ended up finding a mistress and slept with her the day after our wedding anniversary, which was this past January. Our divorce was just finalized in July 2016. I am pretty sure he hates the new me and I am ok with that lol. I suggest that you and your husband consider marriage counseling and I hope he is receptive. If he doesn't wish to go through with counseling and believe that you love him and only him, your situation will just go from bad to worse. I really wish you the best and I apologize for my long post lol. Feel free to reach out to me anytime and please keep us all posted. Congrats on your weight loss and keep up the good work no matter what!

newly single as well. my divorce was finalized last month. I'm not looking for a committed relationship, just someone to talk to and hang out with. I would love something simple as a coffee date at a coffee shop, or just to have a drink. I've been out the dating game for over 7 years so I feel a bit awkward about dating lol. I'll get my bearings in due time lol.

you can drink, just drink in moderation. no need to feel bad

welcome! my surgeon allowed me to eat during my pre-op diet. He put me on a high protein low carb diet. That meant no dairy except eggs and cheese, no veggies unless they were green and leafy. I could have all the protein I desired and my carbs had to be under 20 grams a day. I did it and lost 10 pounds before my surgery. I also had the sleeve and I am so grateful for it. Congrats on getting approved, it gets better from here!

I had my surgery in December 2015 and my periods are just as bad as it was before the surgery. I told my doc about it and she scheduled me for a vaginal and pelvic ultrasound. turns out I have uterine fibroids. I made an appointment with a recommended GYN for next month. At that time, the GYN will tell me what process I need to take. Your irregular periods could be from shock of having surgery and hormones, but make an appointment with your doc just to put your mind at ease.

don't pay your boss any mind. Just let it go in one ear and out the other. You should not have to disclose the reason for you taking time off work, it's not your employer's business. Congrats on your new journey!

My only regret is that I wished I done it years ago. 8 months out and 92 pounds down! At first, remorse did start to kick in but I no longer have any regrets about my journey

@@Lexigurl82 First of all... you are beautiful. I know you can't see this right now because you're so broken but you really are. Your ex is a straight up BUSTER. Know that you have done the absolute best thing for you and your daughter and I just want to applaud you for having the COURAGE to take such a huge step. Many women live in this kind of turmoil and because they really don't believe they deserve better-- they stay. YOU made the first step and not only did you leave-- but you filed for DIVORCE. Please know that This too.... shall pass. Lexi, this is your time. I know it doesn't feel like it right now but in time you will be able to look back on this day shaking your head and smiling at the same time. It's time for you to start loving YOU. You've had the WLS-- and been quite successful thusfar. Congratulations!!!! Continue with healthy activities it's this kind of thing that can derail us back to bad habits but DON'T EVEN. The 5 stages of grief associated with dying apply to Divorce just the same. Some stages you will skip past quickly, some you will linger around in longer. It's ok to be sad. To cry. To break things. To be ANGRY. But then you must move on so that you can grow as an individual and transition into the next phase of your life that GOD has waiting for you. It is amazing. Don't worry about dating right now. You're no where nearly ready for that. You have to heal first so that you are ready for the right one. OR else you might find yourself back in the same situation. First and foremost allow me to recommend personal counseling/therapy. I know this is not a very popular option but-- check your insurance benefits. Many plans have a Mental Health benefit that most of us never take advantage of. If your co-pays are too high, reach out to your Employee Assistance Program (EAP). Its a great resource available to employees to help you cope with stressors in your life. If you belong to a church you can also seek pastoral counseling. I went through therapy for about 4 months. One night a week. 1 hr. No judgement. Psychologist was neutral and helped me to identify reasons that led to my thinking and behavior, and provided tools and behavioral exercises to help improve my thinking patterns, and responses. I had to DO THE WORK chile, because she couldn't be with me 24 hours but there were things I would work on until my next visit and we would review and move forward. This helped me to look at life with a new perspective, see the positive in myself so that I could focus more on becoming a better version of myself. That was the mind part. I began eating healthier, exercising, taking care of my body. Then I had WLS. That was the body part. Many men who are themselves insecure, will prey on others with insecurities as a method to inflict control. He had not problem with your weight gain because it was no threat to him. He asked you if you were going to leave after having WLS because this was a threat to him. That's his problem, not yours. Then the soul... whatever helps you to tap into a higher power, spiritual connection-- meditation, prayer, scriptures-- Bottom line all things need to be in check mind body and soul. Spend some time to yourself to do some reflecting and create a vision board for what and who you want to be. Fit, stylish, Social, Traveler, whatever. Create a list of things you want to do. Yoga, Spa, re-connect with old friends, visit a new place, get your hair, nails, feet done. Go to the mall buy a new lip color, let them makeup your face. LOVE on YOU. IF you look good, you'll feel good. Spend time with your daughter. I encourage you to work on yourself first and foremost because everything you do affects her. If you're moping around and depressed-- mad at the world, mad at her dad. She's taking it all in. Trust me kids pick up on these things and when mommy is sad... she hurts too. Be open to discussing her feelings. I understand your feelings toward his friends and family but at the end of the day... their loyalty is to him. My sister in law and I are very close but I KNOW-- if there were something going on... her loyalty will always remain to her brother. Sometimes people just don't want to get involved or cause drama. That doesn't make it right, but this is a time for you to purge individuals out of your life and its up to you to pick and choose who you want in your life. I do wish you the very best. I have a feeling this time next year for you will be much different but it is a process and there is light at the end of the tunnel. But it starts with you! Best wishes Lexi! thank you so much, I needed to hear those words. I am doing a little bit more, going out with my roommate and just trying to have fun. it is a process and I just want to heal. I know it's going to take some time and I guess it is something I just have to go through. I am actively looking for a job in the new city I am in and as soon as I find a job I will look into getting some additional counseling. Thanks again and God bless you

You are so welcome! When I saw your profile pic, I was like WOAH! I was shocked to know he did that to such a beautiful woman. He really messed up. I know you are still craving companionship. After my breakup, I really wanted it, too. But I knew I needed to learn to love myself before I tried to love anyone else. It wasn't easy, but each day, I got stronger. Now I know what I need and don't need in a relationship. I know exactly what I won't settle for. Keep us updated, and please let us know if you're having bad moments and just need someone to talk to. lol thank you...I haven't accepted the fact that I am a smart and beautiful woman. I was already broken when I met my ex-husband, and I didn't think he would ever take my issues and use them against me in the way he did. I know in due time I will learn to love myself. I just hope it's sometime soon lol. No dating for me until I realize my self worth.

Honey, emotional abuse can do a number on your self esteem and confidence. Believe me what your exhusband did was all by design to keep you under his thumb. The moment you started to see the light he found a replacement. Well the devil is a lie. You are none of those bad things. Ditto what everyone has said. Take care of you daughter and do what you like and what you want. Find out what its like to answer to no one. Check in with no one. Try something new and make new girlfriends. Try to find someone close by on this website and have coffee. As far as companionship sure its normal to miss it, but what is companionship if the person would rather be somewhere else. And that old cliche is true (I used to hate it until I understood for mysel) you cant truly feel love or give love until you love yourself first because youll always be depending on that person to fill a void they can never fill. Annd when times get really tough, get a vibrator and keep it moving. Real talk between us girls!! Best of luck to ya! Sent from my SM-N920V using the BariatricPal App

Good riddance to bad rubbish. How do you move on and date? In my opinion, very carefully and very slowly. It sounds like you need to grieve and recover from your marriage before jumping back into the dating world. Do you have a good therapist? Have you considered attending a 12 step recovery group like Overeaters Anonymous? Are you attending bariatric support group meetings? Take the time to get to know yourself, recover and heal (physically and emotionally), learn how strong and resilient you are, and focus on health and wellness. Another relationship can wait until you are steady in your own feet. Yes, I am looking into finding a new therapist since I moved away from where I used to live. Hoping to find a good one soon. You're right, no dating for me until I am healed from this pain. Thanks

I ended up moving out of our home. Our lawyers were able to help us come to an agreement and once that was done, I decided to move out of the city. I'm no longer surrounded by those painful memories and phony people who claimed they loved me yet we're loyal to my ex husband. Now I just need to work on my heart and mind. I hate dealing with trigger moments and thoughts of how he rejected me. It hurts so much. Hopefully it will all heal as time goes on.

Thank you so much. I don't feel attractive but I'm trying my best to hear people when I'm told that. I guess I have a hard time because in don't know if someone is being sincere. Your words mean a lot to me. I think it's too soon to date too so I'll do my best to hold off on that. The last thing I want to do is hurt someone because I'm hurt. Thanks again

You guys rock...I am so glad I signed up for this site. Your words meant so much to me, I was about to get emotional Lol. Truth is, I know I'm not ready for dating but I miss having a companion. I miss holding hands, hugs, I just miss love. It's a sad thing for me to say this but I now know my ex-husband never loved me. Who I fell in love with never existed. Yes he was very controlling. He had every excuse in the world for his porn addiction and how he treated me. I'm also disappointed in his family and our former friends because none of them wanted to correct him. In fact, my ex sister in law felt I was trying to "damn " my ex husband! I ended cutting off every single person who had an attachment to my ex husband, even if they sis nothing to me because I didn't want to take the chance of someone telling me he is doing this and he is doing that. I was tired of that. I thank you guys so much for your beautiful words and compliments. I guess when I look at my ex husband's mistress it makes me feel so inadequate even though I've lost weight. He really did a number on my heart and I hope day I'll be able to have a good time when I go out and be able to move on. I appreciate all of you so much.