Hello Everyone.

A bit of back story:

My coworker/friend had his surgery on February 1st this year. Was out of work for the month of February and came back to work the first week of March.

We are a group of 4 friends at work (we are all close and not just coworkers) and the 3 of us support him greatly with his new lifestyle change but we are concerned with his eating habits and falling back into old ways. We've spoken to him about how he feels/thinks throughout his whole process and at first he was so excited because the weight was dropping off so fast, he was strict with his liquid and pureed diet but once he got cleared from his doctor to "eat anything he wants" in moderation, we saw him go way overboard with that and he's been getting sick at work because of it.

Anyway, we try not to push him and live his life for him and try to not tell him what to do but after noticing his eating habits now, we are concerned. I had a few heart-to-hearts with him and he told me that he feels it's so difficult and he wonders why he did this and if he made the right decision and then says he knows it's what's best for him and he needs to take care of himself but that it's really hard and doesn't feel like any of us TRULY understand what he's dealing with food wise.

So I told him I would help him with meal planning so it would be easier for him if he has everything laid out and he gave me the little packet of diet recommendations that his nutritionist gave him and I've been researching this all morning. I told him that I don't want to boss him around but that I was going to be serious about this and strict with this because his health is important and he agreed it's what's best and said he really needs it and appreciates it. So he's open to me supporting him this way and I don't want to mess it up.

Just to give you guys an idea of what he's eating now, he started ordering out again from fast food places and making excuses like "I ordered a bacon egg and cheese from mcdonalds and only ate the egg and cheese and some of the bread", orders full roast beef sandwiches from the deli that has the roast beef, lettuce, oil and vinegar, salt and pepper and onions and eats a few bites with a can of brisk iced tea. drinks a lot of iced teas that has a lot of sugars and Arizona teas. Eats chicken quesadillas with no restrictions. Eats tons of cashews at night, etc. Just regular ordering out with no kind of filtration.

After seeing his food choices for Breakfast and lunch at work and doing all my research now, I'm really worried about him going back into all his old habits and messing up the progress he's made so far!

He still meets with his nutritionist and tells us a bit about what she wants him to do but we see that he hasn't been keeping up with it.

Today I started putting together a daily meal plan set by the hour to break down what he can/should eat/drink throughout the day and I gave him a couple sheets to look at to see if that's something that he likes and thinks he can keep up with. He was really happy about it but I could see that he viewed it as a lot of work that he didn't want to do because he started talking about how hard it is and that he's gonna try to do it.

So finally my questions to you all are:

How are your friends/family supporting you?

What kind of support do you like/don't like from them?

Can you share how you keep up with your diet requirements throughout the day? Do you have a daily breakdown by hour or plan your meals weekly/monthly?

Are there any apps that you use daily that helps you with this new lifestyle?

Any quotes, ideas that you think on throughout the day to help stay positive about this decision?

Are there any favorite online resources that have helped you or that I can look into so I can help support my friend?

I'm really trying to gain a well rounded understanding of what he's going through so any suggestions or stories shared is greatly appreciated. I am reading through this forum as well.

Thank you all!

2 hours ago, hermione53 said:

I actually feel uncomfortable reading this string/ topic because I joined this site with the impression that this is a private group of people pre and post op who are living the struggle themselves. I think you being here demonstrates love and genuine concern but also an absence of boundaries. It makes me feel less safe here.

Nothing here is private, it is public and all google searchable. Keep that in mind as you are posting, especially if you are posting with your RL picture.

Yep pretty much, I wrote exactly what I meant and I am glad you understood it as I wrote it.
You can't love someone more than they love themselves and you can't fix them. If her friend is eating that bad when they are watching, what do think they are doing when no one is around?
Her friend has to live in their body and they have to make the right choices.
You can take an addict to rehab but you can't make them get clean. Her friend has been to rehab and still is using.
The program that her friend is in, isn't offering the right support, and that everything in moderation idea is fail. The friend is losing right now because they are 2 months out, but by the time they are 6 months they are really going to be pigging out. It is pretty obvious her friend is not only a food addict but also has a high pain tolerance. That is the only way they can eat like that, it has to be painful. and not stop. Someone that dedicated to screwing up, is not going to stop. An intervention might actually make worse because the friend will secret eat.
She can't save her friend, her friend has to do the work.
I say this as a friend that tried to save a friend. I have a friend, well actually not anymore but that is a different topic, that had RNY about 3 year before I had the sleeve. Flash forward I am 1 year post op, and still losing and they have regained, after never even getting close to goal. I went through my entire kitchen, all my cabinets took pictures of everything I eat, provided links to stuff to buy, provided meal plans, recipes, cooked live and let them watch me cook healthy recipes. They never made it one week eating right. Eating right, losing weight isn't their priority. And this person ASKED for my help and still wasn't motivated.
You have to be highly motivated deeply on a personal level to be successful at weight loss, no one else can do it for you.
OP cannot save their friend, they are spinning their wheels. Go volunteer with the Girl Scouts, they actually want the help.

KMLS...REAL TALK....100, I promise I be looking for those lips on post like this because I KNOW YOU WONT LET ME DOWN!!!!!!! YOU GOING TO TELL IT LIKE IT T.I. IS[emoji1419][emoji1419][emoji1419][emoji1419][emoji1419] You be tickling me to death[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]. Tough love works better than easy lies. KEEP IT TRILL MY SISTER.