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Contempt

blondie66

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blondie66    271

blondie66
Posted

Does anyone else experience contempt from others about their weight loss? I get so tired of some friends and family saying the only reason I lost weight is the surgery. They look at me with contempt when I say I'm dieting and exercising. They act like I took the easy way out by surgery. I have a family member who likes to remind me that I'd weigh 400 pounds now if i didn't have the surgery...wth!! I exercise 5 times a week and have been since 4 months post op and I eat fairly healthy nothing too strict but I watch what I eat during week so I can take a break on weekends. I'm slowly losing my last 10 pounds. But I hate people rolling their eyes at me and making snide comments...I know it's their issue and I have to not let it but me but I wish I hadn't said anything to people and just said I was getting gallbladder surgery! Especially now I'm a size 10 on way to an 8 far from my size 22.

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Joypod    9

Joypod
Posted

Just remember that their comments are coming from a place of jealousy.

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BigViffer    3,545

BigViffer
Posted

You can take this as a life lesson and an opportunity. These are the very people you can safely exclude from your life from this point forward. The best revenge is to be happy. Show them that their opinion means nothing to you. You won't just be able to say they don't mean anything to you, you have to remove them from your life. Otherwise they will eventually sabotage you. Not just in your weight loss, but at anything that makes your life happier than theirs.

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Berry78    4,261

Berry78
Posted

The reality is the surgery DID get you where you are today.

It's sort of like a mechanic staring at a bunch of metal parts laid out on the ground that used to be a transmission. If someone comes up and says to the mechanic, " Did you do this? " He says "Yes" And then they point to the wrench, and say, "but you didn't do it by yourself". It would be ridiculous. Would the mechanic get all huffy? Maybe. but it would just be as productive for him to say, yes, I did use the wrench, and it sure helped!

The truth is, there is a 98% chance that indeed, without the surgery you would be 300lbs. Own it, be proud that you got the help you needed, and that gives them zero fuel against you.

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MCE1205    47

MCE1205
Posted

Does anyone else experience contempt from others about their weight loss? I get so tired of some friends and family saying the only reason I lost weight is the surgery. They look at me with contempt when I say I'm dieting and exercising. They act like I took the easy way out by surgery. I have a family member who likes to remind me that I'd weigh 400 pounds now if i didn't have the surgery...wth!! I exercise 5 times a week and have been since 4 months post op and I eat fairly healthy nothing too strict but I watch what I eat during week so I can take a break on weekends. I'm slowly losing my last 10 pounds. But I hate people rolling their eyes at me and making snide comments...I know it's their issue and I have to not let it but me but I wish I hadn't said anything to people and just said I was getting gallbladder surgery! Especially now I'm a size 10 on way to an 8 far from my size 22.


I'd say get new friends and family.


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ThickGirl5683    318

ThickGirl5683
Posted

Most of the people that have something Negative To say Are Probably overweight and wish the had the guts to do it OR if they are not overweight they liked it better when you were the "fat" friend /family member because that made the feel better about themselves. KEEP UP THE GREAT WORK AND CONTINUE TO SHUT THEM DOWN WITH YOUR NEW SHAPE!!!!

And for those that keep throwing up what you USE TO WEIGH in your face, simply say "That's my past and I don't live there anymore "

#HatersAreGonnaHate

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blondie66    271

blondie66
Posted

Interesting points thanks for the feedback!! And I agree the surgery saved me I wasn't able to lose weight without it but it's a tool anyone past 1 year post op knows the weight can come back if we don't exercise and watch portions. Obesity is a disease and people need to realize that...it's like being rude to someone cause they have diabetes or heart disease. Part of these diseases are genetic and part are lifestyle just like obesity.

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TracieSue    36

TracieSue
Posted

Interesting points thanks for the feedback!! And I agree the surgery saved me I wasn't able to lose weight without it but it's a tool anyone past 1 year post op knows the weight can come back if we don't exercise and watch portions. Obesity is a disease and people need to realize that...it's like being rude to someone cause they have diabetes or heart disease. Part of these diseases are genetic and part are lifestyle just like obesity.

Yet my insurance doesn't cover weight loss surgery for anyone at all period! I think that's so ridiculously stupid since so many health problems stem from obesity!!


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Greg B    9

Greg B
Posted

I might just tell that person to worry about themselves. Don't let anyone make you feel bad period. Yes, the surgery helps us all, but WE have to put the work in. And clearly, you have! I agree with Berry78. Own the fact that you had surgery, tell your relative that it did help you, and that your hard work along with it gave you an amazing outcome. Tell them how happy you are and how great you feel. Nothing drives sour people more crazy than hearing how happy and positive you are. Some people just like to be miserable...don't let them bring you down with them :D

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Middus    491

Middus
Posted

Does anyone else experience contempt from others about their weight loss? I get so tired of some friends and family saying the only reason I lost weight is the surgery. They look at me with contempt when I say I'm dieting and exercising. They act like I took the easy way out by surgery. I have a family member who likes to remind me that I'd weigh 400 pounds now if i didn't have the surgery...wth!! I exercise 5 times a week and have been since 4 months post op and I eat fairly healthy nothing too strict but I watch what I eat during week so I can take a break on weekends. I'm slowly losing my last 10 pounds. But I hate people rolling their eyes at me and making snide comments...I know it's their issue and I have to not let it but me but I wish I hadn't said anything to people and just said I was getting gallbladder surgery! Especially now I'm a size 10 on way to an 8 far from my size 22.

Well, I have friends that don't know I had surgery, and sort of show some contempt anytime they're eating sizeable food portions but I'm having just 2oz of fish and 2 spoons of rice.

Someone once said I'm acting as if I'm the first person to diet..

I don't really care. I can now shop at regular stores and I'm still losing..

You just have to ignore them and keep doing what you're doing.

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Go To Topic Listing Gastric Bypass Surgery Forums

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    • LeighaTR

      LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.

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