I need your help.

My surgery is scheduled for 4/17. I've told my husband, mother and two sisters about my surgery.

My parents divorced when I was young and my dad remarried when I was 17. At this time I was hovering around 170 pounds. His wife was and remains a real b***h. During that time, when I was in high school, she would make thinly veiled references to my weight, buying me stuffed animals of elephants, hippos, pigs.....you get the picture.

Fast forward 21 years and she and my dad have a daughter (my half sister -who doesn't know about the surgery) who is more overweight than I was at her age.

I do not want to tell my dad about this surgery because he can't keep his mouth shut and will tell his wife, who I can't stand.

Help me. What do I do? My family is local, so it's not like I can hide out.

I had considered telling him I will be having a hernia repair, but I don't even want him at the hospital. I adore my dad, but hate his wife.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

The doctor can say nothing to your father unless the HIPPA disclosure form you sign says so. You'll be in the hospital overnight. He doesn't need to see you in the hospital. No one does. You aren't going to want to see anyone. You are going to want to walk when you can to get rid of the gas and sleep. You don't want anyone around when you are walking around farting all the time. Trust me on this. I did not tell my mother or my sister, who are local. My husband and two teen daughters knew. that was it. I still haven't told my mom or my sister because I knew they would pass judgment. I am six months out.

You are a fully grown person. You have to decide how you want to live your life and what drama you do or don't want in it. If, afterwards, your father asks why you didn't say anything, tell him because you didn't want your step mother to know and ask him to man up and get her to shut her trap about your appearance.

Sorry to be brusque about it, but at 55, I don't have time unnecessary drama in my life. And most of the drama is unnecessary.

For me, a big part of success with this surgery is mental. I made myself and my health my own priority. This means no bringers of drama. You have enough to deal with in the week or two after surgery, and I had an extremely easy recovery comparatively. I told ONLY those who I knew would be supportive and would not undermine my positive changes. If your dad will tell someone who has made fun of you, that is not supportive. Living well is the best revenge of all. Get healthy for yourself. I would try to minimize contact with people like your stepmom. Negativity is toxic.