Alright so here is the deal... and it is a very GOOD deal. I decided that since there was a long delay in getting the lapband that I would take a journey of "self-discovery." I started out with the woes and the moans, and the pity party (no one came but me and my dog.) Then I decided to meditate, and look deep within. Yep I did that, and I realized that I did not like what was in the deep crevasses of my soul. I think I didn't like myself too much. Well I had to have an all out pity party with that new revelation...you will be happy to know my cat showed up, but looked bored and left early.

Then I don't if it was the cat's departure or getting some brains- I decided that I am the master of my body. I can not wait until I lose the weight to start living. It must happen within a time period of 15 minutes.

As a result and some positive thinking I booked two plane tickets to Las Vegas in August. It was so HOT! I walked around like I owned the city. I was the cat's meow. I was all over my husband (He wore a perma-smile until about three days ago.) The bottom line is I felt sexy, and my extra belly did not dictate my enjoyment.

Well I should really be sleeping because in a few hours we are going to get on another plane and head for Southern California. I want to lie on the beach and get more sand. I have hired a professional photographer to take pictures of me for my before pictures, because I think it is important to capture my beauty today, as well as my beauty tomorrow.

In the last 6 weeks I have started on the road to self-love; without having to fit into my perfect ideal of what I outta be. Now I am positive I can rise to the challenge of WLS, because I have myself on my support team, and I am doing it for the right reasons.

So ladies if you haven't felt like your own cheerleaders, because your waiting for the band, or your waiting until you lose a certain amount of weight; I say seize the day, and love your self now and appreciate your beauty.

Hey I am going to sun bath with movie stars Whoot Whoot.

Soon after I come back I will get the long awaited lapband. Just imagine what kind of trouble I am going to get myself into with that thing!

Way to go Amy!

:clap2::clap2::clap2: What AMY said... :clap2::clap2::clap2:

What an awesome post. I have to agree with you 100%. Everything you talked about have been major things I have struggled with. I know if I am to be successful getting a lapband that I have to start from the inside. Thanks for your post - you've given me a lot to ponder!

Way to go Amy! It is so wonderful to feel that way and so many don't even feel like that after they've lost the weight. You've got a head start! I had a therapist that said try to see yourself the waay you want to be in your dreams and then you can do it! if you believe it, you'll acheive it!:whoo::whoo::whoo:

Val

Starting weight 319 7/5/07

surgery weight 314 8/30/07

current weight 289 9/28/07:clap2:

1st goal 40 lbs by 12/8/07 (my 47 b-day present)

Amen to everything you said....and one way to applaude yourself is MINI-GOALS. Of all the things I have learned in this journey since my band, I think this is the most important. I used to go "Oh grief, I have XX (insert that horrid amount) pounds to lose???? No way!!!! It's like climbing Mt. Everest!" and I would rationalize never starting something I couldn't envision any success at. Self-fulfilling prophecy. THEN all of a sudden I realized I could celebrate EVERYTHING! 215 to 210? YIPPPEEEE!!!! 205? Hell yeah! One-derland??? That was good for a CRY! 195??? When was the last time I saw THAT? I have had so many celebrations it's hard to wipe the smile off my face! And they are still coming! And when they start to drag.....I make them even SMALLER! 177 to 175.8? You betcha!

Well I just returned from 3 fab days in Disneyland! I walked for 13 hours a day with no problems. I just enjoyed myself. I went to a LA Dodgers game vs SF. ( I really don't know much about baseball, but I loved the boo-ing and cheering.) I also playing at beach in Newport CA. I got my hair and toes done, and had a professional photographer take my pictures with waves crashing as my backdrop.

On my trip I also at the most decadant food (MMMMMMMMMMM....) (I was not put on a pre-op diet.) and had the time of my life. I spent time with my close friends and the love of my life; it was truly an amazing opportunity.

I felt like I was transitioning from a catipilar to a butterfly. I am preparing for my next stage of life.

My surgery is this week and I plan on taking it very easy afterwards. In the next few days I will spend a lot of time loving my plump self, but at the same time I will be ready to shed her off so I can fly.