cookielover

I got my lapband on October 3rd. I lost my best friend on November 16th! Here is the email that I received: Dear Amy, Well, this is not going to be what you want to get from me, but hey "let's be honest before we start lying to each other". (That is what I normally say to her.) I'm really sorry, but I am not going to be able to come up next weekend. (She was suppose to come up to Canada for the weekend.) As I always say, if you're not living on the edge- you're taking up too much space; however I seem to be way too close to the edge as of right now. I'm really trying to be rational and not get overly emotional while still allowing myself to feel these days as that seems to be the healthiest space for me. (I think she is preparing me for what is coming next...) Let me explain: this will be train of thought, stream of consciousness style as that's when I can get most honest with myself. Right now I need a break. I don't know how much of it is you, but I'm definitely aware of how much of it is me. A lot of this will sound accusatory; I wish it didn't. I've lied to you so much in the last few months specifically about your weight loss surgery. I'm pretty sure that's what got me started on the bad feelings. It wasn't all bad by any means. It was actually so wonderful in my suspended world of denial for awhile. I said most things to keep the peace and got so many wonderful memories and good times recently, so it seemed worth it- but it's seeping into the rest of my life and the web is getting too tangled now. ( I told her a few months ago that I was having WLS and she seemed really cool with it. We had a fantastic summer, and had some kick-ass trips.) I wish I could have told you how much I didn't want you to mutilate your body, how much I thought that there were other things that should have been tried first. (We talked in length about all of my options, and the proceedure.) I just went along with everything you said because I was afraid of making you angry. (This is so not true she ALWAYS speaks her mind. That is what I like about her.) I thought I was willing to exchange your happiness for my integrity, but it turns out I'm not. Now I cansee some of the fruits of your labor, not really the weight loss-(I have lost 30 pounds and two pant sizes; there is no way she could not tell!) I think I'm just programmed not to care about that; my family always said I was so much happier in the arms of a 'big' person even as a baby that my tummy would stop hurting and I would just fall asleep.(Huh???) Still, I do see that you look healthy and seem to be proud of all your hard work. I want to be supportive, yet I'm not there. I might get there and I might never. I finally like my body in the past couple of years, even more than I ever could have when I was thin. (She has been working out and I am very proud of her. She is not overweight.) I love how strong and energetic I always feel- not sick and weak like I did in college. Right now I just know that the holiday season is never really as easy as I I also know that I have way too much wrapped up in diet hell. I really can't begin to explain what any kind of food restriction does to me, how emotional that issue is. Yes, you've heard me say it- and unless I screamed it in the street for 24 hours straight I fear you couldn't possibly get it. (She does not like it that I refuse to eat sugar and wheat product. I did not make her make me special meals, or eat different foods. I just didn't eat bread or sugar, and that freaked her out.) So that's the major dilemma right now- how to deal supportively with you while dealing with that side of me that just doesn't see a happy normal between us about this issue. All I can see is that I'm terrified of being in a household where the 'mother' has extreme diet restrictions and I just can't do it right now. (I guess her mother dieted a lot.) I think it's making me hypersensitive to lots of other small things. I can feel myself over-relating to you as if you were my mom and I can't do that anymore. (Since I can't eat bread...therefore I must be her mom...I guess.) It will literally push me over the edge. When I joke about walking a fine line, it's not really a joke. I barely made it through this past weekend and I'm not ready to try it again right now. I feel bad that I lied to you. I want you to be so successful in your endeavor. You feel bad you lied to me? How about writing me this email? Today I lost over 150 pound because of my lapband. She was my best friend for 25 years. I am so sad I am going to bed.

I was wondering how long does it take you to eat an average meal? According to the books I have read it "should" take around 30 minutes to eat your meal. I want to know what the average is.

Hello Everyone! Long time reader...first time poster... I am so full of it. :w00t: Well that is why I am posting to be honest. I am currently on a med that causes Water retention. I feel like auditioning for the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade as a blimp. (My stomach is actually bigger than my "merchandise".) :biggrin: I am good about controlling my salt intake. My husband makes all our food from scratch 80% of the time, no packaged crap, and no dining out, and I am an excellent water drinker. My question is this: Should I ask my lapband doctor: "Is a water pill right for me?" I am seeing him on Wednesday, and I am not quite sure exactly what a water pill does, but does anyone else take it? Does taking the pill cause discomfort with their band? It would be a great help to know if it is doable, so he doesn't look at me as if I am from another planet. (To be honest I didn't work this hard to get my shelf back, and to make matters worse I can't use it for Cookies or coke!):crazy:

Why do we put so much focus on our "bandiversary". I mean why is that the magical time for most of us bandsters?* :sad: I too fall victim to the bandiversary syndrome. "I must lose 100 pounds by my one year mark!" Such high expectations. I wanted to lose 80 pounds by my big day, so far I have lost 68. I have until October 3rd to lose the additional 12. I have been trying all summer to lose those 12 pounds, so far nothing.:tt1: <?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p> <o:p></o:p> I changed my thinking recently...<o:p></o:p> It is not about my band anymore. It is just about me. I stay within a certain calorie range through diet and exercise. I eat filling foods, and avoid snacks, and sliders. If the weight doesn't come off; well it won't be from lack of trying. But now I am going to start living, and be happy with my accomplishments. <o:p></o:p> <o:p></o:p> *disclaimer: My statement is not intended to represent the feelings of all bandsters; just my own. :thumbup:<o:p></o:p>

Oh man- I needed this post! I am so discouraged because I haven’t lost any weight since Feb. UGH. I am so down sometimes that I won't even come on LBT, because I don't want to see how good other people are doing, and what a failure I have become. (Wow that feels so good to type that out loud. It feels so doomed when you keep things bottled up inside, and they eat at you until you feel empty.) Well two days ago I decided that I have to do something about this. There is no turning back, I am moving on with my exercise, eating, and staying in contact. (No more shame.) My goal is to lose 3 pounds. Has anyone ever had such a tiny goal before? Maybe not but it will be mine. Thanks for letting me ramble on. (Oh jeeze I am crying right now...see what a heavy “weight” can do to you.)<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p>

I started with a BMI of 41 and I was banded last October. First of all you can not compare yourself to anyone else’s weight loss. I know we all want touch-points to make sure we are on the "right track" but with the band it is a self-journey. These are just possible ideas of what could be going on just to ease your mind: You could be exercising too much and not taking in enough calories to compensate, so your body is storing fat. Giving the fact that you were overweight to begin with shows that you probably have a pre-disposition for storing fat as it is. (Me too. It was a survival trait that kept people from starving during famines. Lucky us- huh?) To solve this problem I recommend that you keep your net calories around 1000-1200 per day. Your body could be in shock from losing weight too quickly, and is again trying to store fat. (damn, damn, damn!) Give yourself time to adjust...some people don't lose any weight for a couple of months and then presto it just comes off. If you are seriously concerned talk to your doctor, but I am sure he will say give it time. (By this time next year you'll look smokin' hot in your bikini! Hey I bought one this summer, but I only wear it in the back yard…but I still bought one…and that still counts!)

You are not alone...I have a feeling that this feeling is very it is pretty common. Just being aware of it will help. I know what you are going through. I actually questioned myself before I had the surgery. Right now I am at 182, and I have not lost any weight for 5 months. I think I am doing it to myself on purpose. I really want to be thin, but there is a pull inside of me that is deathly afraid of it at the same time, so as I result I am self sabotaging so I stay at the same weight. I too am self pay, and I hate myself for what I have done, but I have to move forward and trust that everything is going to be okay. Two days ago I decided to have more disciple with my diet and exercise, and get back on track. So what I have done is set really same goals such as lose 3 pounds; that way I am not thinking about the final result. Just 3 pounds at a time. My mindset is different now; I am feeling better and less stressed. I am determined to lose 3 pounds. (After all I have a band how hard could that be?) Good luck and hopefully we will both get though this very important life changing road block. We are strong women-Just remember that.<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p>

I voted "some what easy", because the band is what you make of it. The band has made my body a superstar, but I have had to work hard to do it. I don't always do it well or the right way, but I do get up and get on the horse everyday. Sometimes I get depressed when I don't loss as much as I think I should be, but I have to remember that I take a lot of anti-depressants, and mood stablizers for my bi-polar which put on a ton of weight in it self. I am fighting an uphill battle. That being said; that still doesn't keep me from feeling bad about my progress. I think that is because I am working so hard for sparse results. (Ok the cookie thing I admit to, but I did cut them out.) I just have to keep looking ahead to my future and stop looking down at my scale. (Damn scale!) Now I am thinking about it...without the band I gain approx. 20 pounds per year with my meds. This year I have lost over 60 and counting. I LOVE YOU LAP BAND!

First thing is first..:mad2:. Second I can not give you advice how to handle your doctor situation. As for me I would park my butt in front of his office until I got the fill, but from reading your post I understand you have a lot on the go. "Parking" in your case will not work. All I can suggest is keep working at making your fill appointment. Banster-hell is the one thing that I did not sign up for, and I am sure I speak for all of us when I say that. Go easy on yourself, which is easy for me to say, and hard for you to do. As for your ticker and weight loss. I don't come on this site as much as I should because I "feel" that I should have lost more by now. I feel bad and embarrassed that I haven't lost a truck load of weight. Now how silly is that? Remember this is counterproductive:

I had this same problem and I still have minor flare ups even today. The best thing that worked for me was Milk of Magnesia. I found it in liquid form, non cramping, fast working, and I found it did all the work for me...if you know what I mean. (No straining.) You do have to clear out those pipes, as it will help the recovery and your gas pain. I promise you will feel better if it is the lack of bowel movement that is bothersome and the Milk of Magnesia worked wonders for me, and a lot of others. (I got the advice from LBT...man I don't know what I would do without this site!)

OMG rice is my enemy; long, brown, short, white, it doesn't matter. I have never PB'd before...that is until I had the pleasure of eating rice. The stupid thing is I had to do it two more times before I got a clue. Go figure.

Here is my story: <?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p> </o:p> I was banded on October 3, 2007. At the time of my surgery my weight was 248. As of today I weigh 182, which is a loss of 66 pounds. I have been “stuck” in the “185” for two to three months. I am good at exercising, and I have a good fill. My problem is I don’t know when and what I should eat. :confused2: I need a “BUDDY” that is really good at the food part of this. I will work really hard. My expectations with a great coach are to lose 1 pound a week. I don’t whine, except when it comes to eating seafood. (I can’t eat that stuff.) I am expecting my food coach to communicate via email daily to critic my eating habits and tweak them for greater success. If you want to pass on your successes please let me know. :biggrin2::biggrin2::biggrin2:

My FAT stories are this: I was having trouble "cleaning" my back end on the pot. :sleep: I was tired of the doors getting smaller and smaller. OUCH! Where did that edge come from? :confused2: I couldn't scratch my own back. :waytogo: My stomach became a great shelf to hold cookies, chips, and pop on. :confused_smile: I was out of breath going to the mailbox, and my poor dog didn't get walks for months. :tt2: I didn't get to spend time with my family, because I was thinking about all the weight I had to lose. :cheers2: I hated to fly. I didn't need an extra seat, but it was just a matter of a few extra pounds. But I couldn't sit without getting muffin top from the arm rests, as I barely fit in the actual seat.:scared2: Most importantly... I hated hiding behind my weight.:drool:

I am totally going to wear sexy short skirts. Firstly I am going to make sure the skirt fits my body type, but rest assured I am going to look Hot-damned!:confused_smile: (I am also going to wear tight tops too! I am bringing sexy back!!!:drool:

"Monster House"- is about a massive overweight women that was in the held captive in the circus. Her husband was the only one who could see her beauty. He brought her home, and there she stayed. The kids in the neighborhood would do mean things that caused her to die. After her death she "became" the house (which is quite large I might add.) From that point on her husband does everything he can to keep children away from the "monster house." All the kids in the neighborhood are scared of this house. Eventually the house attacks the children because they get too close to her. Her husband begs her not to harm the children...(this is where I got up and left.) but I know the house was destroyed and they lived happily ever after.

OMG- This totally happens to me too! The exact same thing. However I do have a hot beverage when I wake up, and I eat a protein bar that takes me all morning. Unless I am in a hurry. I have lunch (most of the time. Sometimes I miss it.) between 3 and 4. I have dinner between 7-8, but I am starving I mean STARVING after 11:30! I can consume over 700 calories easy. I know my eating parterns have to change, and I know my diet has to be more in-line. I also believe that my need for food (sweets) is due to the fact that I have to take very sour medication ( I drink it and it taste like battery acid.) at exactly 11:30 and that is what triggers my NEED for sweets. I never feel full. Night time is stopping my weight loss.

I too am losing my girls too, but there is hope (at a cheap cost!) It is called Bras with lots of padding. At least you can pretend while in public. As for your husband...So sad too bad! I feel bad for the guy...he is getting a sexier slim wife...I would tell him to roll with it baby.

Those girls were lucky that I wasn't there! Enough said. As one other post said it is still okay to make fun of fat folks. I remember watching a movie with my husband and daughter. The movie only focus was children being scared of a mobidly obese woman and how fat she was- therefore she was bad. The happy ending was when she finally died.(Yeah...clap...clap...clap!) I was so mad at the movie that I had to get up and leave. I am sorry that you had to go through that awful experience. Don't feel bad and sit in the corner...don't let yourself be wonded soul. If that ever happens again remember that you are in charge and a strong woman. Don't be upset just take your power.

OMG I am trying to obstain from the scale. Currently I have three days under my belt. I am shooting for a solid week. (Deep breath) Only 4 more days to go.:wink2:

I am so excited for you! Congratulations!:wink2:

My trainer said that we can't really control where the weight comes off. I know for me that my left side of my waist indent was more indented than the other side. I had half eaten muffin top! Then one day (months went by...) I looked in the mirror and both sides were more equal! Either the right side got bigger or the left side got smaller, but I think I look smoking hot with no more muffin top.

I love my band! I feel tres sexy. I have collar bones, and I look hot in v-necks, and tank tops. OOOOOOOOO Yeah. I bought a few strapless bras and I wear them all the time. My hunny likes it A LOT. He is always stealing glaces at me! As far as other men noticing...I have no idea. I walk around with my head in the clouds, and my eyes for my husband, because HE IS SO HOT!! If you want to see how sexy he is go to my blog...

OMG Don't feel bad!!! I assume that you needed a fill, and did not know it at the time and it wasn't never filled properly. Thus you were able to eat food that would have been difficult to eat with a proper fill. (I know when I am not properly filled I can have a mardi gras with food if I wanted to.) Go Back To Your Doctor And Get That Band Filled Girl! Remember you are WORTH the success.:wink2:

I drink coffee-doctor didn't say I coudn't.:tt2: I don't consume sugar intentionly.:wink2: I get my protein requirements:cool2: Right now my calories are about 1400 a day. I need a fill. I am not very "good" when I need a fill. I eat bread, and pasta. (Getting a fill on July 20th.) I exercise 5 days a week. I burn 500 to 700 calories per day. I am very active.

At the start of my band journey I would read a post like this and shake my head and say, "How can a person waste such a wonderful opportunity! However they should not feel bad." NOW after being banded for 8 months I have come to my senses! Perfection is not an option for most of us. I know that most of us go into this with the full intention of eating the "RIGHT" foods "ALL THE TIME". To be honest I sometimes eat food that isn't always on the list of things I should be eating, but I am happier this way. I never feel like I am missing out. I always do my absolute best to eat foods that keep me healthy and on the right track, but sometimes the best thing to do is eat a small piece of cake.:wink2: If you feel you must always be perfect you will always feel like a failure. (I know I have been there.) Remember to have fun during this journey, as long as you don't over do it you will lose the weight. As for the exercising: I can not stress the importance that exercising plays in your well-being. Forget about doing just to lose weight- exercise just gives you a great feeling. As you lose weight the exercising will become easier and easier for you. Take advantage of your new found energy. BTW- exercising takes less energy than hating yourself!