Trying not to fret. I start the two week diet tomorrow (low-carb, then right before liquids). I am 46 with a BMI of 41, no other health conditions other than arthritis in my knees. I've had surgery before for my knee twice and a shattered finger with no issues; other than nausea once.

My Dad had bad RK eye surgery years ago and literally can not drive at night-which has wrecked his social life. He says, what if you end up with something horribly wrong... He keeps quoting a false 7% risk of long-term serious effects. I get he is worried, I had to hear him talk a lot about his fears for knee replacement surgery and him thinking he was having a stroke when he was just dizzy from pain meds..

He is offering to give me 4K towards diet, physical trainers, etc..and then after a year, if it doesn't work, then give me 4K towards surgery. Sounds good? But, I am not interested in waiting longer. Not. One. Bit.

But it is flipping me out and I am nervous enough. I KNOW the odds are in my favor, but of course..not a guarantee. We all want the guarantee. That is what we tell ourselves:The odd are ever in our favor (see what I did there). I worry about GERD, Gallbladder disease, Dehydration, etc. I have a 15 year old son. I postponed this surgery 5 1/2 years ago for different reasons, but partially fearful if something happened because my son was so young then-but I know that 15 is young too. Since then lost weight and then gained weight and kept it on. I don't even want to lose weight anymore for appearances, but just to slow down the rate of decay

Anyway... that is it in a nutshell.

Thanks for listening.

My daughter is a nurse and she understands. But I know she is worried about me being able to make

the commitment it is going to take for me to do this. But I also have some friends that think I just

haven't tried hard enough. I had qualified for surgery 4 years ago and then didn't have it done because

I let others and family members take precedent over me ( and my need to take care of myself first). I let guilt

and their ability to make me feel like I was not worthy of taking care of myself first because they needed

me and if I were recovering from surgery I might not be able to do the things that they wanted done.

I wish I had went through with it 4 years ago. But I also got the impression that if I lost weight I would be

"more attractive" and then I would not be the one that they always could put down (some sort of envy and

elevating themselves over me). Sick huh?...But I am going to do this to make sure I am around for my

daughter's wedding and for future grandchildren. Most of all I am going to care of me. Because at the

rate I am going I am not going to be around for anyone.

I know you are worried but you need to do this for you and your health. And that will be the best thing

for your father and your son. And believe me, I have so much doubt in me. But every time I get those

nagging thoughts. I am going to tell myself I can do this. And I am worth any inconvenience it may cause

other people in my family. And if that doesn't work, I am going to log on to this site and read and post and

get my spirits back up. If you need support, please post and I will definitely try to encourage you and hopefully

you can encourage me and all of us who are on this journey can help each other.

Good luck but don't let anyone tell you it is better to not do something about it. You have to realize that

you are just taking care of you so that you will be able to be there for your family.

I hope this helps....I am in the same boat.

I'm happy for you. And those same people are talking you out of it we'll see how much better you feel and look. You'll do great. Good luck

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My daughter is a nurse and she understands. But I know she is worried about me being able to make

the commitment it is going to take for me to do this. But I also have some friends that think I just

haven't tried hard enough. I had qualified for surgery 4 years ago and then didn't have it done because

I let others and family members take precedent over me ( and my need to take care of myself first). I let guilt

and their ability to make me feel like I was not worthy of taking care of myself first because they needed

me and if I were recovering from surgery I might not be able to do the things that they wanted done.

I wish I had went through with it 4 years ago. But I also got the impression that if I lost weight I would be

"more attractive" and then I would not be the one that they always could put down (some sort of envy and

elevating themselves over me). Sick huh?...But I am going to do this to make sure I am around for my

daughter's wedding and for future grandchildren. Most of all I am going to care of me. Because at the

rate I am going I am not going to be around for anyone.

I know you are worried but you need to do this for you and your health. And that will be the best thing

for your father and your son. And believe me, I have so much doubt in me. But every time I get those

nagging thoughts. I am going to tell myself I can do this. And I am worth any inconvenience it may cause

other people in my family. And if that doesn't work, I am going to log on to this site and read and post and

get my spirits back up. If you need support, please post and I will definitely try to encourage you and hopefully

you can encourage me and all of us who are on this journey can help each other.

Good luck but don't let anyone tell you it is better to not do something about it. You have to realize that

you are just taking care of you so that you will be able to be there for your family.

I hope this helps....I am in the same boat.

I'm pretty much in the same boat with my family. I got into a huge fight with one of my sisters this past weekend because I finally got scheduled to have surgery. Many of my friends close to me also said they think it's because to this particular sister who's always been the skinniest, that she might see me losing weight as a threat, because she'll no longer be the "skinny- pretty" sister.

She basically told me she "doesn't trust my doctor" because I'm choosing to have surgery with the surgeon I picked almost 2 years ago in Rhode Island versus a doctor in Boston since I've moved out here. (Mind you my father practices medicine with my surgeon and works at the same hospital)

My mother also has expressed her discontent with me getting surgery and has opted not to support me. My father initially didn't support me but since has changed his mind. He recognizes that at this point with the extra weight I am no longer living my life but basically just going through the motions day in and day out.

I had to actually say to my sister who tried to root her argument in "you haven't lost any weight since you started and won't take criticism. you need to go to the gym now" I turned and said to her "because you've been obese your entire life & struggle with the constant back, ankle and shin pain"

I've decided I'm just living for me and doing what I need to do to be healthier. No one will have my best interest at heart like I do. They do not walk in my shoes, they know of my struggles, but have not experienced them. If you feel this surgery is the right thing for you, I wouldn't let anyone get in the way of that.

My daughter is a nurse and she understands. But I know she is worried about me being able to make

the commitment it is going to take for me to do this. But I also have some friends that think I just

haven't tried hard enough. I had qualified for surgery 4 years ago and then didn't have it done because

I let others and family members take precedent over me ( and my need to take care of myself first). I let guilt

and their ability to make me feel like I was not worthy of taking care of myself first because they needed

me and if I were recovering from surgery I might not be able to do the things that they wanted done.

I wish I had went through with it 4 years ago. But I also got the impression that if I lost weight I would be

"more attractive" and then I would not be the one that they always could put down (some sort of envy and

elevating themselves over me). Sick huh?...But I am going to do this to make sure I am around for my

daughter's wedding and for future grandchildren. Most of all I am going to care of me. Because at the

rate I am going I am not going to be around for anyone.

I know you are worried but you need to do this for you and your health. And that will be the best thing

for your father and your son. And believe me, I have so much doubt in me. But every time I get those

nagging thoughts. I am going to tell myself I can do this. And I am worth any inconvenience it may cause

other people in my family. And if that doesn't work, I am going to log on to this site and read and post and

get my spirits back up. If you need support, please post and I will definitely try to encourage you and hopefully

you can encourage me and all of us who are on this journey can help each other.

Good luck but don't let anyone tell you it is better to not do something about it. You have to realize that

you are just taking care of you so that you will be able to be there for your family.

I hope this helps....I am in the same boat.

I'm pretty much in the same boat with my family. I got into a huge fight with one of my sisters this past weekend because I finally got scheduled to have surgery. Many of my friends close to me also said they think it's because to this particular sister who's always been the skinniest, that she might see me losing weight as a threat, because she'll no longer be the "skinny- pretty" sister.

She basically told me she "doesn't trust my doctor" because I'm choosing to have surgery with the surgeon I picked almost 2 years ago in Rhode Island versus a doctor in Boston since I've moved out here. (Mind you my father practices medicine with my surgeon and works at the same hospital)

My mother also has expressed her discontent with me getting surgery and has opted not to support me. My father initially didn't support me but since has changed his mind. He recognizes that at this point with the extra weight I am no longer living my life but basically just going through the motions day in and day out.

I had to actually say to my sister who tried to root her argument in "you haven't lost any weight since you started and won't take criticism. you need to go to the gym now" I turned and said to her "because you've been obese your entire life & struggle with the constant back, ankle and shin pain"

I've decided I'm just living for me and doing what I need to do to be healthier. No one will have my best interest at heart like I do. They do not walk in my shoes, they know of my struggles, but have not experienced them. If you feel this surgery is the right thing for you, I wouldn't let anyone get in the way of that.

Well have to say I think you're making the right decision. My X told me I shouldn't have the surgery because I can lose weight without surgery what the problem is I can gain it back and just as easy. And I would always hit a wall on how much I can lose and I have a lot to lose or did. Still got quite a bit more but I lost a lot already. Again when the people see you feeling good looking good and doing good they will either come around. Or they weren't never going to anyway. Stay strong and keep it up and you'll be fine.

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