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Help! I'm so scared I've spent all this money for nothing

I am so depressed. I am not a whiner or crier but I've been so upset this past couple weeks. I think my surgery is broken. I was sleeved aug 25,2016. I immediately lost 16 lbs before September came. Then my September weight loss for the ENTIRE month was 11lbs!! ONLY 11lbs! Those 11 lbs were the first 3 weeks of sept because I haven't lost a pound for the last 2 weeks! Every day I step on the scale and cry again. I know I shouldn't weigh myself daily but I'm obsessed and cannot help it. I use GENEPRO and get my Protein in, but fluids are not up to par. I eat 3-4 times a day and no Snacks except a couple days I snacked on a piece of turkey Jerky but once the bag was gone, I haven't snacked at all. I don't know what to do. I'm so scared this won't work and I'm destin to be overweight. I was so excited to do this and read success stories and looked at pics. I had such high expectations. I expected to be 45 lbs down by now. I'm only half there so I feel like I'm failing. Can I hear from some slow losers that have long term results? I need reassurance badly!! Is there anyone this surgery just didn't work for? Come one, come all, I need to know what I'm dealing with. Love this site, it's so informative. I've gotten more advice and help through this site from anyone anywhere.

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@@gustavio I have read all of the posts you have made and it seems you have been very anxious after surgery. Losing 30 lbs a month is no realistic and it is time to get rid of expectations. We are all on a new life journey, not a diet that will be over when we lose the weight we want to.

You have done well with weightloss so far and it will keep happening if you keep following your plan and living your life. And, if you are like me and many others, the weightloss will happen in waves. Yes, it can get frustrating, but it is much easier to let those frustrations go and continue on.

This isn't about the money or a broken sleeve, it is finding your footing and continuing to move forward focusing on the big picture, including nsvs, feeling better, looking better, losing inches, etc and most of all, being healthier. You can do this.

Thanks. And yes, I'm pretty high strung lol

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Your expectations about this surgery are way out of whack. I'm honestly curious where you got the idea that you were going to lose 45 pounds in less than 2 months? Unless you're 400 pounds, it's absolutely ridiculous not to mention unhealthy.

The average weight loss with surgery after the initial large losses is on par with normal dieting of 1-4 pounds a week, depending on how heavy you are. I lost an average of 2 a week. Some weeks more, some weeks less. It took me a full year to lose 85 pounds, and another few months to lose 7 more. This isn't some kind of race. Keep doing what you need to do, calm down and manage your expectations and you'll get there. Instead of spending time fretting about what you're not losing, spend it learning as much as you can about exercise and nutrition so when you get to where you want to be, you can actually keep the weight you're so anxious to lose off. Because in the grand scheme of things, THAT'S what's most important.

your starting weight was only 247. my starting weight at surgery was 238 and I am shorter than you so I think we are pretty comparable. (the silly tracker puts my higher weight in which can be misleading but that's not my fault. that's the weight I was at my consult) I am down to 191 at 7 months. I also went into this with the expectation I would have lost weight faster, but hey it *is* coming off, and likely in a much more healthy way. There is no way I could have lost almost 50 pounds before surgery. it just never happened.

so. control what you can control and don't worry about the rest.

where are you calories supposed to be at right now? your Protein and fluids? these are all things you can control. I walk 5 miles per day almost every day - through the course of the day. I eat right, sleep well and the weight is coming off. I had to learn to make peace with the scale, my weight fluctuates a lot but is always trending down, and I only count my weigh in's on Monday, no matter how often I weigh in between.

My doc didn't give me a guideline for calories but I'm not getting more than 600-700. Fluid is suppose to be 64oz. But I'm probably getting 40oz. I've never drank much. Before surgery and as long as I can remember I would go every other morning and get me an unsweet 42oz peach mango tea from the station and that lasts me all of 2 days. My husband says I'm a camel. Now I try harder to drink and only Water tastes good to me now so I'm drinking what I use to drink in 2 days, in one. My docs protein goal for me is 64oz. Which I take 30g of GENEPRO twice daily and then count on my diet to get the other 4 grams. So I'm sure I'm exceeding my protein goals. Thank you for the encouraging words. I have never been one to need them and constantly need validation but this has been a trying time for me.

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Your protein, fluids, and calories all seem very low. What does your NUT advise?

I had my sleeve 2 days before you and I'm down 16 pounds (25 pounds if you include my preop diet pounds lost). I've lost count how many days it's been since I've lost a pound. I started at 220, 211 on surgery day, 195 today. I chalk it up to starting at a lower BMI and I tell myself the slower loss will be better in the long run for my extra skin.

Hang in there.

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  • Author

Your expectations about this surgery are way out of whack. I'm honestly curious where you got the idea that you were going to lose 45 pounds in less than 2 months? Unless you're 400 pounds, it's absolutely ridiculous not to mention unhealthy.

The average weight loss with surgery after the initial large losses is on par with normal dieting of 1-4 pounds a week, depending on how heavy you are. I lost an average of 2 a week. Some weeks more, some weeks less. It took me a full year to lose 85 pounds, and another few months to lose 7 more. This isn't some kind of race. Keep doing what you need to do, calm down and manage your expectations and you'll get there. Instead of spending time fretting about what you're not losing, spend it learning as much as you can about exercise and nutrition so when you get to where you want to be, you can actually keep the weight you're so anxious to lose off. Because in the grand scheme of things, THAT'S what's most important.

It's nice to hear that the results I've seen from other people aren't realistic. I don't know if I seen posts from people who weighed much more than me or what. Probably so. My BMI is 38 (down from 41). I barely made the required BMI so I guess I was being a bit unrealistic. Wishful thinking I suppose. Thanks for your timeline. It helps to hear people's stories that are around the same BMI. I know they say not to compare but it's hard not to.

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  • Author

No one has mentioned hormones. I hear you can have a big release of hormones after surgery that can cause emotions to run high. Maybe that's effecting you as well.

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Possibly! I'm NOT usually an emotional person. AT ALL! As I mentioned, I'm high strung and a bit crazy but not a crier. It doesn't help that it's the anniversary month on my dads passing and a friend was in a terrible car wreck and my son(my BABY) just joined the Marines. So this has been one hell of a month for me emotionally.

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Edited by gustavio

  • Author

I had my sleeve 2 days before you and I'm down 16 pounds (25 pounds if you include my preop diet pounds lost). I've lost count how many days it's been since I've lost a pound. I started at 220, 211 on surgery day, 195 today. I chalk it up to starting at a lower BMI and I tell myself the slower loss will be better in the long run for my extra skin.

Hang in there.

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Thanks ????

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30 lbs a month would be fantastic, right? But it probably won't happen when you start with a BMI around 40 or lower :) For perspective, I'm now almost 3.5 months out and I just hit 56 lbs lost...my goal was 50 in 3 months and I squeezed in just before the last day! I feel VERY successful, plus my doc, dietitian and case manager have all discussed my goals with me and they feel they're realistic and attainable. I don't lose every day, I usually lose .5 or a pound, stay the same for a day or 2, then lose a little again. I like to weigh myself daily, but it seems like maybe it stresses you out? Could you go to every other day, every third or even better, weekly? I like it for accountability, but I don't stress about those days I don't lose. I've even had a couple where I gained...I just looked at what I was doing, made sure the boxes were all checked and kept on doing what I was doing.

Your Protein intake seems low, I'm supposed to get between 90 and 110 grams daily, along with the 64 oz of Water on your plan. And are you exercising? I do MUCH better if I walk a few miles daily.

Hang in there...you're really doing great, you just don't realize it!

  • Author

30 lbs a month would be fantastic, right? But it probably won't happen when you start with a BMI around 40 or lower :) For perspective, I'm now almost 3.5 months out and I just hit 56 lbs lost...my goal was 50 in 3 months and I squeezed in just before the last day! I feel VERY successful, plus my doc, dietitian and case manager have all discussed my goals with me and they feel they're realistic and attainable. I don't lose every day, I usually lose .5 or a pound, stay the same for a day or 2, then lose a little again. I like to weigh myself daily, but it seems like maybe it stresses you out? Could you go to every other day, every third or even better, weekly? I like it for accountability, but I don't stress about those days I don't lose. I've even had a couple where I gained...I just looked at what I was doing, made sure the boxes were all checked and kept on doing what I was doing.

Your Protein intake seems low, I'm supposed to get between 90 and 110 grams daily, along with the 64 oz of Water on your plan. And are you exercising? I do MUCH better if I walk a few miles daily.

Hang in there...you're really doing great, you just don't realize it!

Thanks. I need to get with my NUT. I swore she said 64oz protein and same for water. I could be wrong. I am not exercising like I should. I work 7 days in a row and work 12 hr shifts, have a 3 hour total commute and so that leaves me 9 hours to shower, make dinner for kids, and sleep. Plus I work at a desk. Then I am off 7 days straight. The 7 days I'm off, I have no trouble exercising. But then I go right back to the next 7 days sitting on my tail end. That cannot be good. Right? I would feel uneasy if I don't weigh daily. I wish I could put the scale away and not do it. But my OCD kicks in and I tell myself I HAVE to weigh in.

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I've read a lot of people have stalls. But you mentioned you ate beef Jerky which is high on salt. Salt makes you retain Water. Try to avoid processed foods. I know every Drs guidelines are different on food but my Dr will have me on soft foods at that point. Good luck...slow is not a bad thing, your going in the right direction.

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  • Author

I've read a lot of people have stalls. But you mentioned you ate beef jerky which is high on salt. Salt makes you retain Water. Try to avoid processed foods. I know every Drs guidelines are different on food but my Dr will have me on soft foods at that point. Good luck...slow is not a bad thing, your going in the right direction.

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My NUT said it's a good Protein packed snack. But, it does have a lot of sodium. Serving size is a third of a bag. I only eat 1-2 smalls pieces a day while I had it. Haven't eaten it since. Not really a fan of meat period. Let alone dried meat

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  • Author

I m 5 months out and 66 pounds down but I started at 314. Ur weight loss is amazing. Give urself time and stop weighing everyday. Don't see the point in that. I do it once a month and is great.

Thanks babe-and great job to you!

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On the day of surgery I weighed 226, Six weeks out I was down about 24 pounds. I did have to play with my diet in order to figure out what worked best for me. My plan that was given to me by my team added back in "all" foods. However, for weight loss, what I found worked best for me was to stay very very low carb. So I stick to a low carb diet and this increased my weight loss quite a bit. I am now less that 5 months post op and have lost almost 83 pounds.

At 6 weeks though your body is still adjusting. Just try to sit back and relax. Make sure you're not eating any empty calories and the weight will come off. Once you've completely healed you may need to play around with your diet and see what works best for you. Good luck!!!

BTW, I weigh everyday too....it helps to keep me on track. So just know there are plenty of us daily weighers out there! But you do need to try not to stress over it. :)

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