So I've told my family that I am planning the VSG, but I have not told my friends. My best friend is my dinner buddy..always asking me to go out to eat. As you can imagine she is overweight as well. She had another friend do the surgery and she blasted her to me..how she thought it was ridiculous to do the surgery and what's wrong with being chunky..well I have decided not to tell her because I know she would not be supportive and would possibly try to sabotage my journey..but what do I do after the surgery to not go out to dinner with her when I always had in the past? You can't fake eat and drink..lol

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Tell her you want to be healthy, not chunky anymore. If you don't even tell her about the surgery, she will make comments when you pull out your healthy lunchbox or refuse to eat like you used to in the past. I wouldn't tell her about the surgery because that is way too drastic of a direction for her to focus on but I would tell her that there is plenty wrong with being chunky. It's good to be self accepting but it's also important to be realistic with one's self.

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Lema...she already does make comments about my healthy choices and also the fact that I never eat a full meal..I've decided not to tell her before the surgery and maybe not even after the surgery. I told my best guy friend today and got the..you don't need it..why?..just don't eat as much and exercise more… really? Huh.. wish I had tried that before like the 1000 and 1 time might have done the trick..lol well so much for getting a lot of support from friends and even my family has just been so so with support and understanding. I guess I hope to get my support here if I can't get it from the people in my life..

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This was a tough decision for me, too. I'd heard so many people talk trash about others who'd had WLS over the years. "They took the easy way out." "It's cheating." "Just put the fork down and push away from the table." "Where's the willpower?"

I worried about being judged when I would need to be supported. Most of all I worried that someone would "out" me to everyone. I'm very private about my personal life and knew that it's impossible to un-tell this enormously emotional decision. So what did I do?

Well, I told my very best friend who has always been supportive and one of my 3 children. I'm divorced, so a SO wasn't an issue. But that's it. I didn't tell anyone else in my family, circle of friends, or workplace.

My surgery was March 12, 2014. I live in a different state, which was helpful to keep it secret. Of course, the downside was that I didn't have anyone to talk to once I got home.

During all the pre-op testing, my doc found out that I had h-pylori bacteria and gave me a cocktail of thee antibiotics, plus a med to reduce acid. Since they knew (at work) about the stomach issues, it was easy for me when people commented about how I was eating. I didn't lie, exactly, but I didn't correct anyone when they assumed I couldn't eat because of the meds I was on. After that, I just started walking everyday and eating healthier foods in appropriate amounts.

Ii was gradual and I only lost 20 pounds in the first three months. But then things happened fast. I lost nearly 100 pounds over the next year and no one has ever been the wiser. I recently had an arm lift and no one has asked me about that, either!

I have never been happier and am thankful every time I look in the mirror. Sometimes I'm still surprised to see a size 6 looking back when I used to see a size 18-20!

Although we all have different paths, in some fashion we share the same pain, frustration, determination, excitement, and personal growth. I wish you the very best in your journey.

I told my close friends that I'm currently going through the process to get approved. I'm in a situation where my friends are very supportive. I've also told a few family members as well. I'm also very confident in my decision to go through WLS so that helps as well in telling people. I treat it more as an FYI rather than seeking approval or permission from friends and family.

I only told my sons and 3 people in my office. I hear comments all the time about oh you look good. You don't need a diet. I just don't want to hear any negative comments about surgery. I guess I'll tell them after it's all over. After all it's my body, my self esteem that counts.

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If you don't want to tell her then don't. If she asks you to go out to eat just say that you want to start a healthy lifestyle. You don't have to tell her about your surgery

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