Along with all the other anxiety ridden things that comes along with weight loss surgery, I'm now trying to ignore the wayward doings of my husband. Not only is he bringing in zebra cakes, nutty buddy bars and bags of chips, but he then says" I'm getting Chinese on the way home, you want something?" As I say no I'll eat something from home, he says " oh I see how you are". Really? I'm doing good not eating all that crap and I'm actually having a difficult time even wanting to eat. All he does is eat out and won't eat the things I'm making. I make tuna patties, refried Beans with cheese, scrambled eggs and cream of wheat, I've been looking up recipes for roasted veggies, ways to make pizza crust from cauliflower etc. A lot of it looks really good. I can't actually eat some of it for a little bit but I'm trying to find healthy menu items. He's not even interested really. I'm hoping it will change some as we get further down the road. Maybe he'll try a few things and eat them also. Who knows.

Jennifer

@@Jen.R, I have had much the same issue with my husband. No real advice here, just sympathy. I get that it's our problem, not theirs, but it's HARD!! Our changes in eating habits do affect the nature of our relationships in a much bigger way than I initially thought. Those patterns of behavior - going out to eat together, cooking for your family, etc. - have been altered, and it's hard on everyone in the family! Add to that the hormone dump and emotional highs and lows we go through post surgery, and it's a recipe for disaster. It's tricky navigating this new life, but we'll get throught it!

I believe my lifesaver in these situations would be to walk around the block, since I cannot run.

I believe my lifesaver in these situations would be to walk around the block, since I cannot run.

This is a great, healthy suggestion... getting out of the house helps to diffuse the situation and remove us from the stress of a partner who is maybe being insensitive, and the walk would give us a chance to get some exercise and work off our frustrations. Love it!

Exactly!

Hmmm. You know, some men really like to solve problems. How would he take you saying, "Hey, I know this diet is crazy and I'm having a hard time coming up with things to do together that aren't food related. I really want to spend time together. Can you help me come up with some new ideas?" It might have worked with my dad, who wasn't a bad guy, just utterly tactless and clueless about dieting. With an extreme aversion to change and being out of control that always brought out his inner a-hole. (7 Vietnam tours and extreme PTSD, so we cut him slack.) Asking for his divine guidance usually helped him deal with the transition and gain some objectivity. Then, he'd work his fanny off to help you.

Of course if your guy blows off a genuine request for his assistance with a problem, then it's probably time for couples counseling.

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