Hey Team WLS,

Wanted to post a proper farewell to the community before ghosting, since so many of you have been supportive and informative since June when I began classes at Kaiser.

As of last week, I'm just 5 pounds shy of 100 total pounds lost from my all-time highest weight of 426 pounds. The reason I decided to pursue surgery is that I plateaued—and thought then 70 pounds lost was the best that I could do.

Yes, the loss has been slow, but it is a fact: I've maintained this 72 pound loss over the last three years. Since starting the Kaiser preop classes in July, I've lost another 23 pounds (I learned about macronutrients and protein!).

I've been treading deep waters in the community for 16 weeks, and have gained invaluable knowledge.

Surgery, at least where I stand now, is not for me.

There isn't enough data for women of childbearing age, and I'm concerned about a host of issues. Short term? Yes: surgery addresses weight and the various complications that come with obesity. Long term? I want to see data on osteoporosis, and what the aging Bariatric population looks like.

I understand the very valid arguments for everyone who is pro-surgery, and I totally respect you for the decision to go under the knife—more so now. It addresses the immediate and/or looming threats of obesity...when the surgery is used as a tool.

In the past sixteen weeks, I've seen more trouble than not in the WLS Community, and quietly observing the trials and tribulations...at least in regard to **my individual case**, the surgery would make my quality of life terrible. From where I stand now, I don't want to spend the rest of my life not drinking Water with dinner. I don't want to worry about spicy things, mineral water, fruit acids, and knowing that I have titanium staples in my body. I don't want to have the very serious major surgery, and with the statistically guaranteed future weight gain, go through the mind-**** that is post-op guilt/freak out.

Currently the only comorbidity I have with obesity is the number on the scale; no issues with blood pressure, cholesterol, diabetes, etc. I've had long talks with the physiologist that is our class counselor, and my past injuries in running are quite common. The more active you are, the more likely one is to get injured, especially with running. Injuries happen; keep going. Strengthen. Come back better.

If I lost all the weight with surgery, I'd still be the same young woman I am right now, just smaller.

If I lost all the weight without surgery, I'd still be the same young woman I am now, just smaller.

...and at 5:00am right now, I am who I am. I weigh 330.4 pounds, am a size 20W, 2X. I surf, swim, do yoga. I'm strengthening my legs and am able to sprint for short spurts, working up to long distance running again. I travel the world. I was in a professional photoshoot 2 weeks ago for an upcoming event, and loved every single picture. This past weekend, I purged my closet, and literally donated 75% of my prior wardrobe instead of hanging on to the past 4-6X, 26-32W pieces. My life is fun, my brain is cool...and I am comfortable in my current body. There is always room for improvement and the human body is capable of incredible things—I will continue to pursue improvement and peak fitness, but I am also grounded in the present.

This is all telling in and of itself.

The only guaranteed outcome of the surgery is forced portion control. Physiologically, with surgery or not, our bodies will fight us to stay fat for our entire lives. It will always be a battle.

I'm giving myself until my next birthday to quietly and diligently keep plugging away at my weight now that I've learned information that has clearly broken the through plateau. In eight months, I will re-evaluate. Should I hit my benchmark of continued weight loss, I'll know I made the right choice. If I have gained weight back? I'll reconsider the surgery.

For the surgery OGs that stepped in to provide tenured knowledge, for the newbies who shared their recent experiences, for those successful; but above all, for those who are struggling, I am inspired by you.

All of my love, and thank you,

—K

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

I will go dormant, but definitely keep in touch and update (if that's OK?). I guess all perspectives are good in a bariatric forum...it keeps things real. I just don't know if that's a violation?

Nothing can bar you from posting without surgical scars. You're much appreciated here and I know I'm voicing the view of many. It's a joy to see anyone succeed in the realm of weight loss regardless of the chosen method.

@@fatgirlsvelte - I'm not "pro-surgery" I am just "pro-support." Good luck in your journey, and never be scared of exploring and deciding,"well that isn't for me." That is wisdom. In very short supply in this world.

Best of luck to you!

You did your research and best of luck to you! You know you are always welcome back!

@@fatgirlsvelte Best of luck to you!

I completely understand where you are at. In fact, I was just talking to my wife the other day and telling her that the most common thing I hear on BP is "i just wish I had done it sooner", and I for one, do not.

I am 42, and the timing was perfect for me. I've been obese my whole life, and I have absolutely no regrets about surgery, but it's hard, and it's forever. That would have been a really hard thing for me to get my head around in my 20s, or even early 30s. I think I would have constantly had doubts if I had REALLY tried hard enough to lose it on my own, if I had REALLY given it my best shot. At 42, I know I have. I have tried every kind of diet, every kind of lifestyle change, and probably mot importantly, I just don't have it in me to keep trying. And if I quit trying, there would be no end to my weight gain.

This is most certainly not an indictment of people who have surgery in their 20s and 30s, or any other age. Nor is it a judgement of people who regret not doing it sooner, it's just my life and my experience.

And I'm sharing it just to say "I get it". I understand where you're at. You are young, you have time, you can always reconsider, or maybe (hopefully!) you will never need to. Good luck to you!

@ Very well said!! Even in my 40s I could get on track and lose, now in my mid 50s I have chosen (VSG) -- I think I have (meeting with Dr. on Thursday). I think it is great that @@fatgirlsvelte is trying the other, just because if babies are wanted down the line nutrition is so important. I am still not liking the concept of forever Vitamins. Thanks for sharing.

Sent from my SM-G900H using the BariatricPal App

Thanks for this...

This is also a possibility for sure. If it is the case and I wait for awhile, it would give me ample time to have all of the babies (hahahaha). Appreciate you.

it took me 10 years (and until I was in my 50's) to make the decision to go through with it. You may be back - or not. But good luck to you whatever you ultimately decide to do.

Usually, when a young person says "I am obese but I have no problems with blood pressure or blood sugar or anything else" I say "just wait". Those things tend to come with age. Prior my mid to late '40's I said those things as well.

However, you make a great point about having children. I was normal weight in high school. I gained quite a bit my first 2 years of college but lost it back. I was normal weight when I got married at 25 and normal weight when I got pregnant with my first daughter at 28.

Then, I had 4 babies in a 6 year time span (no accidents, we wanted all of them!) I was starving with every pregnancy. I gained too much each time, and never lost it all back before getting pregnant again despite breastfeeding.

All this to say, I can't imagine having a tiny sleeved tummy while pregnant. If I didn't eat I felt sick, I needed to eat when I needed to eat.

IF your weight is down to the point that you can get pregnant easily and have safe and healthy pregnancies and deliveries (obese moms are much more likely to have fertility, pregnancy and delivery complications) then by all means I would definitely have all the babies you want to have and then worry about getting the weight off.

Best of luck to you!

Edited September 27, 20169 yr by laceemouse

I love your attitude! Your writing is good food for thought. Waiting too be ok'd for surgery but yet I'm so scared. Good luck to all that you do. Your pretty cool!

~Renee

Sent from my SM-N920V using the BariatricPal App

Good luck in your travels and in your journey.

Touche', my friend.

Much respect...

@@fatgirlsvelte

Best of Luck. You are intelligent and have a great outlook on life.

My most heartfelt thanks to everyone.

A little update...

Last night is what I intended to be my final bariatric class. The facilitator and physiologist had me tell the story a bit more in depth to our class, and that I wouldn't be pursuing the surgery. The reaction wasn't what I was expected—

They (classmates and facilitator) have asked me to stay until the end (December 14 is the last class) because I "provide the other perspective we (the class) usually doesn't have" in the room each week. The course is called "Options," with the end goal being education and providing enough information and support for patients whichever way they choose.

After class, on the way to my car...we had an hour long talk about life, love, and the pursuit of health (BAHAHA). Our class is from 6p-8p, and I can't believe that we all sat out there in the hospital parking lot laughing and yelling and loving on each other until just after 9pm...like a family.

They've asked me to also keep managing our "secret surgery group" Facebook page (I was prepared to hand it off to another moderator), and want me to change it to an overall weight loss page...where we OF COURSE will still talk about bariatric surgery.

I can't reiterate enough that I simply have the highest respect for anyone who pursues this surgery. It is such a dramatic and life altering move as that "final straw" if you will. I just realized that I'm not at the "final straw," and have the ability and patience to W E R K right now.

The other few people I've informed are also relieved, just from the babies standpoint. Everyone is in agreement that if I'm still heavier in my older years post-family planning, then it would be wiser to consider it then.

Also nearly burst into tears out there. One said she thinks I should change my major in school and become a nutritionist specializing in the severe obesity population...that is probably the greatest compliment I have ever received. Ever.

So, onward. Still a part of the inner-circle community, I just orbit in the opposite direction. )

All love,

K

PS. I announced on Instagram and had a handful of people unfollow me right away...but woke up to a whole new batch of humans. It's incredible that when we change the way we look at things, those things change, isn't it?

MSUJESTER I won't say I wish I had it done sooner for sure. I really don't think I was ready for all it takes to be successful!! I have said before I know 3 people that had their Gastric Bypass at least 18 years ago and each person has had problems with theirs. One has gained every # back, one has gained most of theirs back and the 3rd hasn't gained any back but she is mentally unstable and has weird food habits!! If you do your research you will find that back when it was called stomach stapling so many people didn't get good results at all they have real bad absorption problems even more than we do now. In fact one of the peeps that had her stomach stapling she has allergic reactions to her infusions. There have been so many improvements made in the years since plus there are so many support groups for WLS peeps. Most of the DR'S now don't like the RNY to be referred to as Stomach Stapling because of the negative things about the old way of doing surgeries. Now they do them without cutting your whole stomach widely. So many improvements!! I am so HAPPY I waited until I was 57 years old. When I was younger I don't think I was at all ready for this incredible journey!!

I ve had eight years of success with the band before major complications forced it's removal. I lost 130 pds. I started to gain weight back no matter how I dieted before choosing the RNY. WLS is a tool. It requires lifestyle changes. It is not a magic pill. That being said I have been over 300 all my life. If I lost 50 pds I gained back 60. That's why I chose wls.

we are all work in progress and you are still young. You are always free to change your mind. The only one you have to answer to is yourself.

best of luck to you.

@shedo82773. Years ago the procedure was much more dangerous. It was done as an open procedure and there was a high mortality rate.

Now it is a relatively safe procedure There is regimented vitamin protocals and structured diets and numerous protein shakes that do not taste like chalk Hence the high success rate. That's why I chose the rny as a revision