Who do I tell about my surgery?

[Kernowgirl 5]

I've got my bypass booked in 11 days time and I'm excited to finally get a grip of my life again.

However the only people I have told is my husband, mum, dad and sisters. NO ONE else knows including rest of the family and my friends.

I don't want to tell everyone because I don't want people to think I have 'cheated' 'took the easy way out' and people are so ignorant and uneducated I cannot deal with fighting my corner with them.

Did anyone else just tell their close close family and no one else?

When I start to lose a dramatic amount of weight I don't know what to tell people when they ask how I'm doing it?

What shall I do? What shall I tell people?

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Edited July 31, 2016 by Kernowgirl

[Mudgy6 88]

I feel that it doesn't matter what anybody thinks about me. This is my life. I want to be healthy and lead a better life. I want to see my grands grow up, and so I can keep up with them. My life is for me to live. Who cares what they think

[dhrguru 1,238]

Every time this topic is posted you get a myriad of answers--because it's a personal decision. I chose to tell family; not much of anyone else. When people comment on my weight loss I thank them and say I'm working on it. Haven't had a single person pester me beyond that. If you opt to shout it from the roof tops-- make sue you can let the Snide comments go.

One thing for sure- people will talk either way.

[catwoman7 10,867]

it's a personal decision - some people tell, some don't.

I just told family a few close friends. When others ask,

I tell them I've been working with dietitian who has me on a

high protein/low carb diet. I also say I've been exercising

a lot. All true - I just don't tell them the part about

the surgery - although some probably wonder...

[jude99 1]

I am from the UK too - I have PM'd you.

I personally chose not to tell anyone, it's a personal decision.

[Guest]

People are quick to judge based on ignorance and misinformation. It's none of their business. It's a medical issue and when you lose weight it will be because you're eating much less.

Actually, one of my friends initially told me in a group setting that she'd taken up running when I said wow what's going on. Really it's inconsequential what you're doing with your body. And you have your right to privacy!

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Edited August 1, 2016 by Guest

[pammieanne 269]

I'm one of those that has shouted it from the roof tops! I guess first off, I have always been an open book, and I can't stand to try and keep things in. Secondly, and more importantly TO ME, is that I think there's a stigma about this surgery, and the more people are educated, the more information they have, the less they will be to judge.

I don't want some MO person to think that's I' e succeeded, where they've failed. I want them to understand the health benefits that come along with the surgery. I want them to be informed.

That being said, it's MY story, and when a friend of mine starts telling people, then I get frustrated and ask them to let me decide to to tell and when to tell them hahaha!

[RedCheeks 16]

I've got my bypass booked in 11 days time and I'm excited to finally get a grip of my life again.

However the only people I have told is my husband, mum, dad and sisters. NO ONE else knows including rest of the family and my friends.

I don't want to tell everyone because I don't want people to think I have 'cheated' 'took the easy way out' and people are so ignorant and uneducated I cannot deal with fighting my corner with them.

Did anyone else just tell their close close family and no one else?

When I start to lose a dramatic amount of weight I don't know what to tell people when they ask how I'm doing it?

What shall I do? What shall I tell people?

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I have told my parents, kids and 3 close friends. No one else. I don't want anyone else's opinion my self. And I've mentioned the idea years ago and everyone was really negative. Everyone knows someone, sister/cousin/coworker/friend who had a bad experience etc. I don't want to hear it. My life my choice, what ever the reason might be, that's for me to be okay with.

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[LadyDarkness415 41]

I'm glad that you posted this. My parents, husband, siblings, and boss know. I've decided to announce it as me making a huge life change without being specific. My surgery is on Thursday so I haven't gotten to the latter part yet so who knows how it will go. Co-workers only know that I'm taking leave for a couple of weeks.

~~ LadyDarkness415 ~~

[Wallflower7522 328]

I only told a handful of friends and family members pre surgery. Post surgery if someone asked who I knew had it, or I knew might be interested I would tell them. If it was just some random person saying "how did you do it?!" I would say "diet and exercise" which is true.

I'm 2.5 years out now. I took a new position at work 9 months after my surgery and suddenly I was always around new people who never knew the old me. Now I may make references to losing weight but I never go into a lot details how how or how much. I'm not trying to hid it per say, that's just not my life anymore and I don't want to bring it up constantly. There are plenty of old pictures on Facebook so I figure people can go look for themselves if they really want to.

[catwoman7 10,867]

depending on your starting weight, you may have time to

think about this. I had my surgery in June (2015), and it was

Oct or Nov before people really started noticing the weight

loss. By then I doubt anyone linked it back to my "vacation"

in June. And it did give me a lot of time to decide

whether or not to tell people.

[Nymea 87]

I only told close family and one friend prior to surgery because I didn't want negative stories and comments making the decision any harder than it was. I am only 3 weeks post and although I have lost 5 kg it isn't that noticeable yet, plus I am not going out much at the moment so I don't have to deal with it.

Additionally, I had a hiatus hernia that needed a repair at the same time, so I told a couple of people who knew I was having surgery that I was having the hernia repair and left it at that. If anyone asks about what I am eating who doesn't know ... I just tell them it is because of the hernia repair.

[RedCheeks 16]

I only told a handful of friends and family members pre surgery. Post surgery if someone asked who I knew had it, or I knew might be interested I would tell them. If it was just some random person saying "how did you do it?!" I would say "diet and exercise" which is true.

I'm 2.5 years out now. I took a new position at work 9 months after my surgery and suddenly I was always around new people who never knew the old me. Now I may make references to losing weight but I never go into a lot details how how or how much. I'm not trying to hid it per say, that's just not my life anymore and I don't want to bring it up constantly. There are plenty of old pictures on Facebook so I figure people can go look for themselves if they really want to.

I agree with your approach. If I had a c-section, breast implants, a mastectomy, Tummy Tuck, gallbladder removal or a transplant surgery I would not just volunteer that information. Why would WLS be any different. My personal health information is private and not public knowledge.

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Edited August 4, 2016 by RedCheeks

[Nymea 87]

I also want to add that it is very much your own choice who to tell what and when. However, I would suggest not saying much to anyone other than those who need to know ... until after your surgery. It is going to be hard enough as it is without naysayers trying to convince you not to do it. Once it is already done and they realise they can't talk you out of it they may be far more interested in your results.

[AMS3188 33]

I'm just a few days out myself, and I have chosen to be pretty open about it, mostly because I didn't want to act ashamed of having the surgery. I guess I wanted to jump the gun and be proud before anyone could really shame me. That's just my method though. I can see why telling fewer people can be better. One thing that bugs me is people telling me not to have the surgery or telling me about people they know who have had the surgery and "failed." Does anyone else get these kinds of comments? How do you handle them?

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