So, here are a few things I wish I had known before I had my surgery (I was sleeved 5/23/16):

The gas...oh my goodness, the gas. It hurts, it stinks, and sometimes you can't trust a fart. Lovely.

Surgery doesn't make it easier to lose weight. It actually makes it more complicated! Protein, carbs, sugar, fat...It's all scientific now. If I don't get my protein, I hold Fluid and don't lose weight. If I eat sugar, I don't lose weight. If I don't get all my Water for the day, I feel hungry, tired, and--you guessed it--I don't lose weight. I even landed in the ER getting 4 bags of fluid and a CT scan to check for complications. And my insurance got a bill for $7,000. After the one they got for $29,000 just a month previous...more on that later...

Mood swings from hell will descend upon you, and you will be powerless over it at first. Now, I am learning that I tend to cry right before a stall breaks. Fat stores hormones that have to go somewhere when the fat goes...extra PMS? Yes, please! NOT. Yes ladies, your period may go completely haywire for a while. FUN...

Speaking of stalls...the weight won't always come off in a predictable pattern. It may not come off as fast as you want it to. If you stick to your plan, you will lose weight, but along the way you will stall. You may not lose anything for a while, even though you're doing everything right. You will get concerned, you may think the surgery isn't working, but if you stick to your plan the weight will come off. On it's own schedule, though, not yours. The human body is incredibly complex and very good at learning how to NOT starve. Some people believe in starvation mode, some don't, but don't test it. You don't want to get sick and malnourished. You may need to exercise more and log your food to make sure you haven't slipped up, but the stall will break. Eventually...

You will become acutely aware that people who know you had the surgery are watching you. Watching what you eat, when you eat it, and how much of it you eat. Watching to see if you lose weight, and if you don't lose weight FAST, everybody has an opinion about whether or not you should have had the surgery and if it will work, and you may hear horror stories about somebody's friend/sister/brother/cousin/coworker who had the surgery and gained all the weight back. Or never lost it at all. Stick to your plan, and remember why you made the decision to have surgery. Be ready to avoid toxic people as necessary. If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem. So be careful who you tell. If you are married, consider your spouse's feelings. Talk about it. You will need them on your side if at all possible. If they aren't, it could be problematic. Be ready to have hard conversations and make decisions based on those conversations. You may learn things about your relationship that you never knew, which can be good or bad.

You will have regrets. Mostly in the beginning, but be ready to wonder what in the hell you were thinking when you had this surgery. It's hard! There is an overwhelming temptation to believe that this was supposed to be easier. It's not. It's effective, but it's a lot of work and it takes a lot of self-discipline.

People may judge you and say that you took "the easy way out". See the previous paragraph. And then see the second paragraph. You may have to educate a few people. Or tell them to get lost, your choice.

If you didn't already know it, you may find out that you have a serious problem with food. Get that fixed, and do it before you waste a lot of time and heartache. Go to therapy. The surgery will NOT fix your brain. I cannot stress this enough! You will find out that food is the glue that holds our lives together. We Celebrate with it, we mourn with it, we reward ourselves with it, and sometimes our social lives revolve around it. All of that has to change. Food is fuel. Period. You will not enjoy eating out for a while, if ever. The portions are RIDICULOUS, and most of it is nothing you should be eating anyway. "I'll just have a small salad..." No, you won't, not for a while. You won't be able to eat raw vegetables for a long time, and never before your doctor clears it. It's the last step. And it may be never for certain foods. BECAUSE...

Your taste will change. What your stomach can tolerate will (obviously) change for a long time, and maybe forever in some aspects. You may hate what you once loved and love what you once hated. Go with it. And get over your addiction to caffeine, because that has to go, too. Not forever, but your surgeon will have an opinion about when it's okay again.

If you smoke, a reputable surgeon will not do weight loss surgery on you. They will most likely test you for nicotine, so don't cheat, just quit. You won't heal as well and it's just plain bad for you.

You will have no vices for a long time. Because...you can't drink alcohol either! Not for a LONG time. Just look that one up, because I quit drinking a long time ago and I don't even care about this part. Except: you may trade old addictions for new ones. You may need therapy to fix this. If food was a coping mechanism for you, you had better have a plan for new coping skills. BECAUSE...

This is stressful as hell, if you hadn't figured that out. You hair may come out. Be ready. Biotin is rumored to help, but it isn't a sure thing.

You will need to take Vitamins for the rest of your life. Don't be cheap and skimp on this one. You need bariatric vitamins. Deficiencies can set you back in significant ways. It's not worth it. Take your vitamins.

Now. If you're still reading this, you may think I am one hell of a "Negative Nelly". Nope! I am a realist. You should be scared. You should think long and hard before you have weight loss surgery. If you even qualify for surgery, you've cleared a significant obstacle. If your insurance covers it, that's another significant obstacle out of the way. Soooo...If you have a surgeon willing to do it, and you can get insurance to pay for it (or if you can make it happen as self-pay) DO IT. If you still want to have weight loss surgery despite knowing how much it can suck, then you will probably do well. BECAUSE...

IT'S WORTH IT. All of it.

I don't doubt anything you've said, but I have to say my experience couldn't have been any more different.

I felt like I was on a fairly strict diet for 6 weeks before surgery, but it was easy because I stopped drinking alcohol.

After surgery, I had no pain, no side effects, and no hunger. I followed the 30 day post opt diet to a T and by 6 weeks out, I eased back to a normal life, just ate less.

Oh yeah, never had a second thought, mood swing, or anything but joy over the new me!

The only thing I wish I'd known was how easy it would all be. I would have done it 20 years ago!

I am really glad you had a great experience. But yours is the experience I had been led to believe that I would have, and when it was nothing like that, I have to admit that it hit me pretty hard. I am definitely doing much better now, but I felt really mislead because I wasn't warned of other difficult circumstances that might arise as a result of the surgery. I certainly don't think that my experience is the "gold standard", but I really don't want pre-ops to assume that everything is going to be ideal. I wish everyone could have a recovery without difficulties, but it's just not going to work that way for some. Thanks for your comment; it's inspiring! I hope the rest of your journey is great, too!

Yes... I believed this was how it would be for me, as well. I knew the actual incisions would be painful, but I didn't expect the rest. I truly was in the dark and wish I'd been better prepared.

Though I'm only a week in! I hope it gets easier, but even if not, I know it was worth it.

Also sooooo very glad that I kept it to myself. My husband, his parents, and my kids (kinda) know. No one else. I only shared that I was having a hernia repaired, and I couldn't be more grateful for that. I don't want to be watched or to "hear it" from the negative worry warts in my life.

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Connie - One problem I did have and have warned others about is the reaction of others.

Most folks - even those with complications, lose a lot of weight very quickly. Depending on how large your circle of friends is, this could lead to what seems like a never ending conversation about "how did you do it?"

In my case, this was undoubtedly the #1 negative of the entire experience. And the "watchers" and stupid comments while eating in public.

I did choose to limit who I told to 6 family members, but this too had left me feeling bad about not "fessing up" to my closest friends.

That said, I'm now 10 months out and the watchers seem to vanishing.

Its good to know that the watching doesn't go on forever!

Having said that, for the people who I haven't told (non have said anything yet but Im only 5 weeks out) if they ask I'll just say I'm on high Protein, low carb diet and that I'm counting calories. It's the truth! Sort of

Jo x

I don't doubt anything you've said, but I have to say my experience couldn't have been any more different.

I felt like I was on a fairly strict diet for 6 weeks before surgery, but it was easy because I stopped drinking alcohol.

After surgery, I had no pain, no side effects, and no hunger. I followed the 30 day post opt diet to a T and by 6 weeks out, I eased back to a normal life, just ate less.

Oh yeah, never had a second thought, mood swing, or anything but joy over the new me!

The only thing I wish I'd known was how easy it would all be. I would have done it 20 years ago!

Thank you for your encouraging post. Very reassuring, after hearing all the other posts.

@@TracyBar

My dietician is not much help anyhow, I always feel rushed as like they just want to see next patient. I'll be doing mine in Houston with UT Physicians. Syc counsel was a joke a few questions about anger, depression, etc....

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That was probably your Psych Eval. Therapy/Counseling can be very helpful if you have a good therapist. I found therapy much more helpful than nutrition (although that was because I knew most of what the NUT had to say already). @@TracyBar - I'd recommend counseling if you can find a good psychologist familiar with Bariatric Surgery and emotional eating.

@@TracyBar

My dietician is not much help anyhow, I always feel rushed as like they just want to see next patient. I'll be doing mine in Houston with UT Physicians. Syc counsel was a joke a few questions about anger, depression, etc....

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Its good to know that the watching doesn't go on forever!

Having said that, for the people who I haven't told (non have said anything yet but Im only 5 weeks out) if they ask I'll just say I'm on high Protein, low carb diet and that I'm counting calories. It's the truth! Sort of

Jo x

My line is "I gave up on fad diets and did EXACTLY what my doctor told me to do".

Everyone is different. Believe me I miss food so much. I play tricks on myself. Sunday dinners I keep myself busy and sit down and eat when people are almost done. Alcohol is not a problem. I don't drink as much as I did but I still go out and have a good time. The smoking I quit but sometimes I have just a puff or two. It is all in your mind. I still sometimes think what the hell did I do to myself when I am craving a hamburger or deli sandwich and know if I eat the bread I will throw up. It bugs you in the beginning but when you go from a size 20 to 12 and feel 20 years younger than it is worth it.

I don't know bread, rice and Pasta are still really hard for me. Which is a good thing. You really don't need them anyway. I guess starches still make me actually throw up every time I eat them. I just don't eat them. Sometimes I say it's worth a good throw up to take a bite. hahahahaha Not very often.

Everyone is different. Believe me I miss food so much. I play tricks on myself. Sunday dinners I keep myself busy and sit down and eat when people are almost done. Alcohol is not a problem. I don't drink as much as I did but I still go out and have a good time. The smoking I quit but sometimes I have just a puff or two. It is all in your mind. I still sometimes think what the hell did I do to myself when I am craving a hamburger or deli sandwich and know if I eat the bread I will throw up. It bugs you in the beginning but when you go from a size 20 to 12 and feel 20 years younger than it is worth it.

Hi Neeser - when did you have the surgery? And why are you unable to eat bread? I'm just learning about everything right now. Thanks!

>Everyone is different. Believe me I miss food so much. I play tricks on myself. Sunday dinners I keep myself busy and sit down and eat when people are almost done. Alcohol is not a problem. I don't drink as much as I did but I still go out and have a good time. The smoking I quit but sometimes I have just a puff or two. It is all in your mind. I still sometimes think what the hell did I do to myself when I am craving a hamburger or deli sandwich and know if I eat the bread I will throw up. It bugs you in the beginning but when you go from a size 20 to 12 and feel 20 years younger than it is worth it.

Hi Neeser - when did you have the surgery? And why are you unable to eat bread? I'm just learning about everything right now. Thanks!

Yes no starches at all. They all make me full way to fast and I throw up immediately. I had my surgery in December. I started the

process in September and I am down 80lbs.

Connie, can I ask your age. I often wonder if age has a key in who will suffer vs who will breeze through the recovery process. As well as for those that are successful or not. I'm sure age has to matter. I'm a tad nervous about that because I'm 62 1/2 scheduled for the sleeve next week.

Connie, can I ask your age. I often wonder if age has a key in who will suffer vs who will breeze through the recovery process. As well as for those that are successful or not. I'm sure age has to matter. I'm a tad nervous about that because I'm 62 1/2 scheduled for the sleeve next week.

Hi Connie, I am 57 years old. I wish I would have done this years and years ago. It is unbelievable the energy that

you have. Makes you wonder about your poor heart. I just emailed my brother about taking his grown sons kayaking this weekend. After I emailed him I sat back and thought OMG 7 months ago I would have never suggested that. A movie and popcorn maybe. Kayaking NEVER. hahahahahah Good Luck.

Connie, can I ask your age. I often wonder if age has a key in who will suffer vs who will breeze through the recovery process. As well as for those that are successful or not. I'm sure age has to matter. I'm a tad nervous about that because I'm 62 1/2 scheduled for the sleeve next week.

I am 46.

@ - Sigh wish I had done this at 46 Oh well. Funny, I kind of figured out most of this on the front end watching YouTube videos of those who did well and those who fell on their face. It all boiled down to research and attitude. You knew it was a tool, not a magic wand. And that is clear from your story (and it is a very good and very real one BTW).

Thanks for sharing. My hope is that those thinking about this would read your story first and quit thinking this is automatic permanent weight loss. I can't/won't talk about all the personal struggle messages I get into with people who are fighting other demons that pop into their lives post surgery. But HELL YEAH it is a great tool and I would do it again in a heartbeat. I just wished I could have planned better for the hormone dump as a single guy (wink wink, wow that was fun).

@@OKCPirate I am glad you liked my post. I can imagine the hormones are a nightmare for men, also!

But HELL YEAH it is a great tool and I would do it again in a heartbeat. I just wished I could have planned better for the hormone dump as a single guy (wink wink, wow that was fun).

thankfully reading about the hormone dump prepared me and allowed me to prepare my husband because boy have we had a lot of fun with that also!

@@OKCPirate I am glad you liked my post. I can imagine the hormones are a nightmare for men, also!

"Nightmare"? Hell I loved it. Can you imagine being a 17 without the teen angst, and know what in the heck you are doing? That is fun stuff when you are a responsible adult with his own house and hot tub. Just saying

Aaaaahhhh, yes! I read that wrong the first time, haha!! Good for you!!