I haven't had surgery yet (talking to my primary on Wednesday to get the ball rolling) but one reason why I've been putting off on asking about it is I'm terrified of loose skin. I'm 42, weigh about 375... my skin isn't going to bounce back like it used to (over 12 years ago I lost almost 150lbs and had no loose skin, I've since regained and aged). Right now I love my big boobs and don't want to lose them but there's no way I can afford implants, like ever. And my husband is 15 years younger than me (rawr!), I'm worried that he'll stop finding me sexy. He swears that's not going to happen but I can't help but worry. His preference has always been big women, and with my starting size I know it's unlikely I'll ever get truly *thin* but I will be thinnER, and floppy everywhere. I get nearly in tears every time I think about it.

How did your partner respond to your flopping skin everywhere? What did you end up doing about it? I'd love to hear from everyone but especially if there's anyone with a starting size near or more than mine. Thanks.

@@WitchySar

I knew my boobs wouldn't go anywhere, even with all these people telling me that you lose your tits. Most of the women in my family have had reductions. When I was "fat" in middle school at 135lbs and 5'4 I was a D cup. I wore a training bra for like a month, then I was a C cup. I was a D cup all through HS and College. I too like having big boobs, the extra money I spend on good bras pays for itself in free goods and services with my big titty card.

I always liked how I looked for the most part. I had friends of all different weights and heights and I knew that no matter your size, clothes and mirrors aren't magic and most women have a hard time finding things that fit them how they want and they also have things they don't like, so at 365, I didn't feel like my issues with clothes were just weight based. I was just discussing with a friend that lost a lot of weight that right now I feel less confident in my looks than I did before. Simply because before I was a BBW with the face of a 10 and I really stood out as being a very pretty large lady. Now I am like a regular fat chick that looks like she just let herself go a little, it's not the same thing. I was a big fish in a small pond and now I am a small fish in a big pond of regular chicks.

You are focusing on your physical attributes that your husband might not like after surgery, but it might not be the physical that he has an issue with. If you really adopt a healthy lifestyle and get into healthy eating and being active, will he like that? Will he be down with eating differently? Will he be okay with you eating differently than everyone else in the house? Will he accommodate you the first few months post-op when surgery is the hardest? Will he like you working out? How about just walking a lot in your neighborhood? Will he think you are too visible to other men? Will he be okay if you keep your big boobs but end up with a small waist more dudes are checking for you?

Those are the things I would be worried about if I had a man, more than if he will still be physically attracted to me.

Edited June 9, 201610 yr by OutsideMatchInside

I am sort of excited that I won't have to worry about losing my boobs - my real boobs tried to kill me so I had a bilateral mastectomy with reconstruction in 2011 - a silver lining, of sorts.

I am sort of excited that I won't have to worry about losing my boobs - my real boobs tried to kill me so I had a bilateral mastectomy with reconstruction in 2011 - a silver lining, of sorts.

The front page of the phone app only showed up through the "my real boobs tried to kill me" part. I had to check to see if your breasts tried to smother you in your sleep or made you fall due to their weight or something.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Remember, you control how much weight you lose. If you feel its too much, increase your intake with healthy calories. if he loves you he'll love you no matter what.

BTW, I know women out number men by a factor of 10 on this site, but loose skin is embarrassing for both sexes. My GF wasn't part of my decision to do WLS(we didn't even know each other then), but the excess skin on my upper thighs got in her way the other day and it was embarrassing to look down and see her moving it away, Not a great Kodak moment in my life. But the fact remains I am a highly functional, healthy boyfriend despite some excess skin, At 53, we are not going to be photo-shopped modes. But I'll take healthy and functional any day,

I am relieved that I am not the only person seeking WLS who has come to love and feel beautiful in the body that I inhabit at my largest. I struggle with reconciling my choice to have WLS and my current identity as a fat and confident woman. I don't know how my wife will respond to my skin apron when I am on the other side of this surgery, I know she will love me, but sexual attraction and love are not always the same thing.

Good luck! I hope to keep reading posts from you.

I think majority of the time we are our worst critics... i don't think people really notice our imperfections as much as we do.

We can have a very distorted vision of ourselves and the pressure of having to conform to a certain type of body is very evident everywhere we look.

Your partner will love you for you... regardless of wrinkes, saggy boobs, hanging back fat or other things. If a partner does not... then the relationship might be worth reviewing ????

how i think i look vs how others see me

Edited June 24, 201610 yr by AussieGirl81

It's good to hear from someone in the same position that I am. It's so very true that love and sexual attraction aren't always the same. I hope for both of us that our spouses respond positively to our changing bodies.

I’m worried about it too. I’ve tried to talk to my bf about it but he doesn’t want to talk about it. So, I’ve decided that if he doesn’t like it, too bad for him. That excess skin means I’m healthier and if he can’t handle it he can leave.

I’m 7 months post op and I’ve lost 78 lbs!!! I had saggy skin before but notice with the sweat band I wear I’m losing inches in those saggy areas... but even if you don’t... who cares! Believe me someone out that won’t care about saggy skin if they’re really in feelings with you!