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When online dating didnt work out....



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I'm going through this now, I have only met two women online and one is in love with her coworker who she has sex with on the side. The other really likes hanging out with me but isn't interested in a romantic relationship. Both were from Eharmony. I sent several messages yet they are the only two to respond. This online dating thing really sucks but I don't go anywhere to meet people.

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@@KristenLe I am on the free sites too but there are a lot of weirdo's on there!

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@@Daveo online dating is very frustrating, clearly you didn't meet two women who had any potential... Don't let a women who likes hanging with you use you, be smart... Trying other sites is always an option, we have to have hope while not easy at times....While others will disagree with the following, I think online dating tends to attract many immature game players... With all that said many have met online so it gives us all hope that online dating may work out.

"We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them"

Einstein

Edited by nyteacher125

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I have been sending messages to women who are not they type I usually go for yet nothing is coming back. It's either they don't respond or they move on. Getting frustrating knowing I'm going to be 40 soon and still alone.

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I have been sending messages to women who are not they type I usually go for yet nothing is coming back. It's either they don't respond or they move on. Getting frustrating knowing I'm going to be 40 soon and still alone.

What do you say in your messages? What dating site? I was where you are at 40 too and then met my BF a year later and we've been together going on 7 years.

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@@Daveo I got no hard evidence to prove this other than my gut, I think many of the paid website say we have X amount of member... What they don't say is we have X amount of active members... I'm convinced that when your membership runs out they still keep your profile up just for appearance... That's why when I end my membership I delete all my pictures... This is just my theory based on the following, on a free website like plenty of fish I get a good amount of messages a day... That sounds better than it is as many of the message are not from people that would appeal to me... I have been on a good amounts of dates from plenty of fish... I was on match for three months, got I think a total of 5 messages and 1date... Now I'm not ms.america but that seems to be too much of an extreme difference for there not to be something weird... While all this might sound discouraging before you put the blame on you, consider other things... While I'm looking for men, so I'm not an expert on the women on these sites other than what I hear men say... Not that the pool of men I interact with speak for all men but dinner ***** has been a popular description... Please don't lose faith, a dating break maybe in order...

My point was your not getting answers to some messages maybe be simply because that person is not an active member.

Maybe this is just the case here in NY.

"We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them"

Einstein

Edited by nyteacher125

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@@KristenLe I'm on POF and OKCupid as well as Eharmony. I just say hi and that I read their profile and would like to talk with them. Eharmony is guided so it's predone for you.

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@ the messages I do get back are usually from fake accounts and/or women you pay for. I try to keep my head up but it's just hard sometimes.

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@ daveo... I totally hear you, I'm in a similar spot myself... At the moment dating for me is on the back burner as I'm pre-op for surgery so I'm not looking for anyone new, just working with the left overs lol...they only thing I would say as advice from a women's point of view is... I get tons of hi messages, some get answered some don't... The messages that usually get my attention is when someone brings up something from my profile like if they say I see you like the beach so do I... I usually respond to that type of message because it shows the guy went beyond looking at the pictures and took the 30 secs extra to read the profile... I also think it's a confidence thing, you sound a defeated right now so that may be coming across the screen... I hope this advice is helping... It's meant to be encouraging, I'm a better talker than writer... Keep us posted

"We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them"

Einstein

Edited by nyteacher125

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@ the messages I do get back are usually from fake accounts and/or women you pay for. I try to keep my head up but it's just hard sometimes.

There are definitely alot of scammers and posers on sites. I actually only did 2 sites specific to "big" women. I was not optimistic but figured I'd try and see what happened.

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I met my husband on Craigslist. I kid you not. I did all, I mean all kinds of dating sites. I was tired of paying for dead ends. Sure I went on a lot of dates, but then I would see the same people on all of them. I felt like I was done. I said this is my last try for a long time. Sat down and wrote an online ad on Craigslist. Posted it in 3 close areas.

Met about 5 guys. Still didn't click with anyone. Got in close to 100 emails. Then my husband emailed me. I was on the fence to even reply back because his email was choppy. Kind of cute picture, but no sparks. Probably because I was calling it quits again. I later found out he used speech to text and it wasn't picking up the first word or two. Lol

Sent from my SM-G930P using the BariatricPal App

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Find single meet and greets in your area or use a different dating site... you never know who you will find and where it will happen.

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@@Daveo, why are you sending out requests to women that aren't your type? If they aren't your type, do you really want a response from those type of women? Probably not. I'm about to be 34 and never been married, in women years I think that's considered old by society to not ever have been married lol . But my advice to you is do not ever settle. So what that youre 40 or almost forty,( sorry I can't remember what age you said ) but never get too anxious where you settle for someone just to try to ease loneliness because trust me it's nothing worse than having someone and you can't stand being around them lol. She will come along, but make sure "she" is the real thing, not a fake substitute to get over your feelings of loneliness and getting older. I'm not being harsh, I promise I'm saying this out of love, I've just been there before and it's not fun. I'd rather wait or be single forever than be with the wrong one .

Edited by MissB1982

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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