Hi everyone! My name is Tina, and all I have at this moment is an initial consultation with a surgeon June 1st. This is honestly a huge step for me. I've considered the surgery for over 13 years, but have always been to scared. Scared to tell my family, my husband, my friends. Of surgery in general, of not waking up... But I finally had a talk with my husband a few weeks ago, scared out of my mind at how he would take it, and he was very supportive. I called my insurance the next day, found a surgeon, and made my first appoint.

After hours and hours of research, I feel like the sleeve is where I feel most comfortable. I'm worried about some Vitamin deficiencies I've heard are more common with the gastric bypass, and that is my main reason for wanting the sleeve. I'm sure this could all change once I see my surgeon.

At this point, I don't know who all I will tell. I've been judged my whole life because of my weight, and I don't want to be judged for the rest of it because I chose to get help in the form of surgery. I know I will tell a select few. My mom, my sister, but I'm not sure who else. I don't even know if I'll tell my kids. I have 3 of them, and they are the cause of most of my fears. I want to be with them as long as I can, and surgery just scares the crap out of me.

My stats: I'm 37, almost 38, 5'10", and 329lbs. I've started watching my weight again, have cut out sugar, started increasing Protein, cutting down fat, and watching carbs. I'm sure like most of you, I know exactly what to do. I've been doing it my whole life. I'm just hoping this extra tool will help keep me on track and help me get to a normal weight for the first time in my life.

If anyone has been through this journey already, or is in the same boat as me and just at the beginning, I'd love to get to know you. To support you, and have you support me in return.

My next step is to talk to my mom about it. She's very anti doctor, and I know she wont like the idea. I hope she can see my struggle and support me, because walking this road without her support would be extremely difficult.

Hi, Tina! I'm just at the start too. I met with my surgeon last week and have started (again) eating more Protein, watching calories, cutting sugar, reducing carbs, etc. I have met with my NUT once so far and will see her again at the beginning of June. There is a whole thread about "who should I tell". FWIW, here's my two cents:

I am 54, soon to be 55. I am more than 100 lbs overweight and have fought my weight all my life. Making the decision to see a surgeon was one of the hardest things I have ever done. I discussed with my husband and after we made a plan, with our 2 teenage daughters. I have told 1 friend who I knew would be amazingly supportive.

My mother will not be told. She is not supportive, she is hyper critical and I don't need that. I will just tell her I'm on a very specific diet recommended by my NUT and am exercising more pre-surgery, only if she asks.

If you will need her help after surgery, you may want to say something within the week or so before. Do not let her pressure you to stop doing what is best for you in your life.

Hugs and good luck.

Hi Diana,

Good point! Yes, there are some people I know who wont be supportive, and I think in those cases it's better not to tell at all. Such as my inlaws-- I will not tell them. I will not tell many friends, only ones I know will support me and not speak negatively about it. My mom on the other hand is a tough one. I will need her help. I have three kids, 11, 8, and 4, and I will likely leave them with her during surgery.

How did your consultation go? Have they given you an estimate of how long it will get your surgery date? I've known two people to use the surgeon I have a consult with. Both say it takes about six months to get things going. I wish it could happen sooner, as it would be great to have the summer to heal, but I'll take whatever I can get.

Good luck to you as well!

Tina -

My insurance does not require a waiting period, however, my surgeon requires 3 months of supervised weight loss. The first visit counts as part of the three, so my July visit will be my third. Then, they will submit all the paperwork to my carrier for approval. My upper GI and chest x-ray are set for May 31. My psych evaluation is in mid-June. I have to stop at the lab tomorrow afternoon for my blood work. I still have to make an appointment with my primary to get a letter of support from her. Then, it takes anywhere from a week to a month to get an approval, depending on the insurance carrier. They will schedule me once approval comes in. So, I figure I'm looking at late August or early September for my surgery. My girls are 16 and 13. I'm planning on being back in the office within a week after surgery (I have a desk job). My surgeon does these generally on Tuesday. So by the following Monday, I'll be ready to roll. (I went back to work part time 2 weeks after my c-section with my second child).

I'll likely be in the hospital only overnight, so my husband and the girls will survive one night without me. (They have before!) If you think she may be negative, wait as long as you can before you say anything. You don't have to say precisely what the surgery is -- just abdominal surgery and leave it at that.

Keep me posted on how you are doing.

Tina -

My insurance does not require a waiting period, however, my surgeon requires 3 months of supervised weight loss. The first visit counts as part of the three, so my July visit will be my third. Then, they will submit all the paperwork to my carrier for approval. My upper GI and chest x-ray are set for May 31. My psych evaluation is in mid-June. I have to stop at the lab tomorrow afternoon for my blood work. I still have to make an appointment with my primary to get a letter of support from her. Then, it takes anywhere from a week to a month to get an approval, depending on the insurance carrier. They will schedule me once approval comes in. So, I figure I'm looking at late August or early September for my surgery. My girls are 16 and 13. I'm planning on being back in the office within a week after surgery (I have a desk job). My surgeon does these generally on Tuesday. So by the following Monday, I'll be ready to roll. (I went back to work part time 2 weeks after my c-section with my second child).

I'll likely be in the hospital only overnight, so my husband and the girls will survive one night without me. (They have before!) If you think she may be negative, wait as long as you can before you say anything. You don't have to say precisely what the surgery is -- just abdominal surgery and leave it at that.

Keep me posted on how you are doing.

Thanks for the info Diana! Only one night? This is good news to me! I hate being in the hospital. She is watching them the day I go for my surgery, I'm not sure what to tell her the reason. I don't want to lie, so think I will tell her before then.

@@Tina4heath4ever I would tell your Mom when you are closer to the date - but I would be honest. You may need her help - and she needs to know what to expect (God forbid you have complications).

That's what I plan to do - I think my Mom will be supportive but honestly waiting and preparing are stressful enough without her asking questions or watching what I eat or being critical (if that's the case). The only people who know I'm doing this are my boyfriend (lives with me) and my sister. I am hoping for surgery in September and I'll let my parents know once I have a date.

Good luck at your Consult!!!

Hi everyone! My name is Tina, and all I have at this moment is an initial consultation with a surgeon June 1st. This is honestly a huge step for me. I've considered the surgery for over 13 years, but have always been to scared. Scared to tell my family, my husband, my friends. Of surgery in general, of not waking up... But I finally had a talk with my husband a few weeks ago, scared out of my mind at how he would take it, and he was very supportive. I called my insurance the next day, found a surgeon, and made my first appoint.

After hours and hours of research, I feel like the sleeve is where I feel most comfortable. I'm worried about some Vitamin deficiencies I've heard are more common with the gastric bypass, and that is my main reason for wanting the sleeve. I'm sure this could all change once I see my surgeon.

At this point, I don't know who all I will tell. I've been judged my whole life because of my weight, and I don't want to be judged for the rest of it because I chose to get help in the form of surgery. I know I will tell a select few. My mom, my sister, but I'm not sure who else. I don't even know if I'll tell my kids. I have 3 of them, and they are the cause of most of my fears. I want to be with them as long as I can, and surgery just scares the crap out of me.

My stats: I'm 37, almost 38, 5'10", and 329lbs. I've started watching my weight again, have cut out sugar, started increasing Protein, cutting down fat, and watching carbs. I'm sure like most of you, I know exactly what to do. I've been doing it my whole life. I'm just hoping this extra tool will help keep me on track and help me get to a normal weight for the first time in my life.

If anyone has been through this journey already, or is in the same boat as me and just at the beginning, I'd love to get to know you. To support you, and have you support me in return.

My next step is to talk to my mom about it. She's very anti doctor, and I know she wont like the idea. I hope she can see my struggle and support me, because walking this road without her support would be extremely difficult.

Hi Tina,

I too just started the journey, I just had my first appoint yesterday. My insurance require 6mths of nutritional visits. I also have future appoints scheduled (psych eval, sleep study, stress echo...). So far i meet the BMI requirement (bmi 43). Like you, I'm hesitant to tell others. I have chosen to tell 1 person so far, that I want to do this. I dnt know if I will tell anyone else. Once approved, I may tell my sister but, my mom would not understand. I'm excited to take this journey, I'm just tired of the yoyo dieting. I feel this will help make huge difference.

Good luck & blessings!

Edited May 29, 201610 yr by Deuel30

Hello everyone. I know what you're going through. I had my first visit with my surgeon in October, psych evaluation in November, and completed 4 months of dietician visits in December. In January I weighed 243lbs and need to lose 100 lbs. I'm 5'2" and 49 yrs old. My mother has told me I'm fat since I was a child, and is constantly sending me texts asking how much I'm losing. Yet she's one that doesn't support WLS. I won't tell her until 2 weeks before surgery. I've told my brother and he's very supportive. My sister's haven't been told yet but I will in June. My surgery is scheduled for 7/13 and I'm both excited and nervous. What do you do to handle a mother and possibly a sister who won't accept your WLS decision?

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