So every once in a while, my therapist says something that really hits home with me and she said something yesterday that has been rumbling around in my head since then and thought I would share.

I have a food addiction. Specifically to crunchy salty treats - Cheezits, Cheetos, Ruffles Potato chips, etc. I still on occasion binge on these items (and yes it is possible because these things crunch up in to tiny pieces). I lie to myself and say I will portion them out and eat them in reasonable portions and I always start that way, but in the end, I always grab the bag/box and finish them off. Sometimes I feel sick from it. Sometimes I don't. I don't want to do this, but yet probably once every 2 or 3 weeks, I do this. (I am 11 months post-op for those curious.) (Please don't post and lecture me about this. I know it is an issue and I am working on it. That is not the purpose of this post.)

Anyway, as my therapist and I were talking about this, she asked me to describe how I felt when I am approaching the snack aisle at the grocery store or the snack aisle at the gas station (when I am on a road trip for example) and after thinking about it, I answered "anxiety". What I mean is, I start feeling how much I want those Snacks and yet how much I don't need them and how I am going to be strong enough to avoid them.

She said "Think of the addiction as an outside force. This is something coming from outside of you and you need a strategy to overcome that voice. Some people come to me who have worked for months and months on just sheer willpower and come in completely exhausted. They just cannot fight with sheer willpower anymore." The exhaustion part of that statement is something I keep thinking about. How many of us did Weight Watchers or Atkins or South Beach or whatever diet and we did SO well but one day, we were just so exhausted with counting our points or our carbs and just gave in to the exhaustion and grabbed what we wanted, and then the next day and the next day and the next thing we knew we couldn't get back on track?

All along in this journey, I have feared maintenance. I mean I have lost weight before only to gain it back and then some. But she said to me I needed a mind shift. Don't live in this sheer willpower stage. It won't work. Understand that I have an addiction which comes from outside of me and figure out how to defeat it. My specific plan we came up with - when I am approaching that aisle and hear (or feel) that desire for the food, OUTLOUD say NO! (Ok, not so loud that others stare at me, but you see what I am saying) And then replace the thoughts with music - something to drown out the voice until the urge passes. She said to turn around and leave if I had to. I said "leave the grocery store if I am not through shopping?" and she said "absolutely - if you just cannot deal with it at that time, then leave. Leave your cart there or just checkout with what you have. You can come back later."

I haven't had to put this in to practice yet, but I have been thinking about music to put on my phone to get me through that (or that I can sing in my head). A theme song if you will to get me past it. Eventually this will all become a little easier - a little farther between the cravings. It already has - otherwise I wouldn't be down 141 pounds. I hope I defeat him completely someday. I am not sure if I will. For now the addict monster is still there and I am learning how to defeat him and wear him down a little at a time....

Really liked this thread!

I'm with you Ann... I learn new things all the time...

And years out, I find it hard to believe we are

all " perfect".... I am happy to say the trips are not so hard these days... And I get up and brush myself off and continue my lifestyle.

That's what I take away from all this... Just keep going. Doing the best you can. Know that we all have our great days and not so great days.

Perfectly imperfect is what a smart man told me.

"Just buying them is half the joy"

This really hits home for me. It took me a long time to realize that this was a huge part of my addiction. It is something that I am constantly working on.

I have a particular donut I like from my local grocery store. One of the things I have been able to do is buy 1 of those donuts. I stand by the trashcan outside the store and eat 1/3 to 1/2 the donut and throw out the rest. This way I get the taste I wanted but cannot finish the rest of the donut when my will power fails me.

I have done that with things out of the vending machine at work too. There are times of the month if I do not have a bite of chocolate I might murder a co-worker or two. The trash cans are right by the vending machines. I break off 1/3 of the candy bar and throw the rest away.

Yes my will power has failed in that I am buying that crap to begin with but at least I am not consuming the entire thing. The key for me is to throw away the rest. It is my way to have things in moderation.

I do have an almost daily piece of chocolate. I like the Linder chocolate truffle or a chocolate covered cherry. I buy 1 piece at a time. It is my splurge but since I only buy 1 I can't overeat it.

OP- If you are like me you are regretting the purchase as you are hitting the door out of the store. Maybe you can take 1 handful of the salty snack, throw the rest away in the trash outside the store and drive away. This way you get you salt fix but can't overeat as much of it.

@@NikkiDoc - that is actually a pretty good idea! That is what I do when I get a diet soda (yea, yea, I know....) A few sips to satisfy then I throw it in the trash.

The food is made to get you hooked. Our tasted & pleasure section of the brain has been hijacked by "Fat, Salt & Sugar".

It is not our fault. The gave rats sugar & cocaine. Saw both light up the same section of the brain. Then gave them a choice & each time they picked sugar. Sugar is in 95% of the food in our stores.

Here is my story: I have posted it in a other sections;

I was sleeved almost 5 years ago. I love it. But I my weight was climbing back up. I was up to 203 from 172. I was having nightmares about my weight coming back. I notice some people would look at my belly before making eye contact, like before. Well my wife came back from her check up in Feb and was told her cholesterol was 345. Her Cardiologist ( from India ) told her she was a heart beat away from a heart attack or stroke & needed to go on a vegetarian diet. Well our daughter told us to watch "FORKS over KNIVES" made in 2011. It saved her friends life. So we watched it on Netflix. We were stunned. First thing you think of is "why is this information not getting out to us?"

You are taught If you put good stuff in your body, the body will fix itself. The problem was we did not know what the good stuff was.

My wife got up & we cleaned everything bad out of our kitchen & went to the store. ( No gimmicks to buy.)

We went back to the Cardiologist 2 months later. He told my wife was in STAGE #2 of Heart disease. We told him we were following the Forks over Knives way of eating. He stated this, "THERE IS NOTHING I COULD DO BETTER THAN WHAT YOU ARE DOING. YOU WILL CURE YOURSELF." Then he wanted to take blood work to see the changes.

RESULTS: Wife Numbers WAS 345 New 171 Cholesterol, Her BAD cholesterol was 233 New 71, Lost 25 pounds.

Mine: 190 old New 134 weight was 203 now 175.

If your cholesterol is below 150 you are heart attack & stroke proof. The doctor took my wife off her meds!

Two friends are doing this after I gave them the movie to watch. The are losing weight & both were taken off there diabetic meds. IT CURED THERE DIABETIC PROBLEM. There blood work will be done this month.

This is a healthy lifestyle to eat. You eat all you want. No counting. No worrying about anything. Just eat the healthy stuff as much as you want.

​There is a second DVD on Netflix "PlantPure Nation". The doctors go to a town in NC and put volunteers on the Whole Plant Base food for 20 days. The results of blood work in 20 days will surprise you. The body fixes itself fast. This is information that should be taught in school.

OK. I've got Netflix. So I'll watch both those docos:

"Forks Over Knives" and "Plant Pure Nation."

Thanks for the info.

Some information

http://www.forksoverknives.com/goodbye-to-type-2-diabetes-meds-and-a-lifetime-of-dieting/