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Surgery soon and reflecting on my journey so far
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Hi everyone, my name is Kayla. I'm a 30 year old musician, singer, wife, and mother. My Gastric sleeve procedure is scheduled for 4/27.
I wasn't always as big as I am. (HW:314) in fact, when I met my husband nearly 12 years ago, I weighed 129lbs. At 5'8" that's kind of the low end weight-wise, but I wasn't healthy. Once I felt safe and loved, I let go and started eating again... Like mad. I ate on 150lbs in two years... I went up and down from there. So for the last decade, I've been hovering, on average, between 280 and 300. I did get down to 220 after becoming a vegetarian for a year and a half after a bad case of food poisoning (as with many of us, I have some issues that manifest in my strange relationship with food). When I got pregnant, my body demanded meat. By delivery, I was 305lbs. I dropped about 20lbs and put it back on. My body began to feel major consequences of all the weight. I stopped playing quidditch and indoor soccer which I had done up to last year.
Finally, as my son began running faster and faster, I decided I wanted to keep up with him and to do the stuff he wanted to do... I went into cooper bariatric on October 22nd, 2015. They told me I had to be nicotine free for 4 months, I quit on the 23rd. Since then, I have completed all the hoop-jumping and here I am, drinking only Protein shakes and Clear liquids.
As a performer, it's hard to look at myself and then present what I feel is inadequate, to others. I have been learning, albeit slowly, to love myself. I wrote a song to fluff myself up. If you want to hear it or see the video, I'm happy to post a link, but I don't want to assume.
Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App