I'm about 9 months post op and almost 20 pounds below goal. I should be happy with myself and feel beautiful, no?

No.

So, I was never the fat girl who got told, "But you have such a pretty face!" I chalked it up to the fact that my face is the first place I gain weight, and at my heaviest I looked really bloated in my face.

As I lost weight, I guess I was thinking that I might end up being pretty. But if anything, all my facial flaws that were once covered in a layer of fat are now exposed. I feel like now I'm a "butter face"... or worse, a deflated former fat girl with a jiggly stomach, droopy butt, AND an ugly face.

I look at pictures of myself and insteading of finding pride in how I look now, I just find new things to pick apart. I've started looking up facial plastic surgery procedures (not that I'd ever have the money to do it) to see if I can be "fixed"--my eyes are really asymmetrical (one is smaller and more closed-looking than the other), the distance between my nose and upper lip is too great and makes me look monkey-like, my lower face is too large gives me this uneven lopsided look, my nose is big and bumpy... and on and on.

Has anyone else felt like this?

And before anyone suggests it--yes, I'm already in therapy! :/

Edited March 21, 201610 yr by lauraellen80

LauraEllen it is terrible you feel this way about yourself. We are all made different so we can contribute our individuality to the world.

When I look at your picture I do not see a ugly girl. I see a beautiful woman who for reasons only known to herself is still searching for her center.

I too use to make fun of my facial features. Being of mixed heritage it is difficult to see similarities with my parents. It troubled me amongst other things for many years. I use to remark on how large my eyes were, or my connecting eyebrows. But my biggest hiccup was my lips. When I sit without a smile I have a natural frown.

It took an artist friend of mine who took semi-professional of me to have me realize I am unique. My eyes, my nose my lips were fine for my face.

Now s/p surgery 03/04 I am still on a nj tube because I am unable to keep fluids down. I have already lost 27 lbs from 2/27 (preoperative diet).

However when I look in the mirror I too see the slimming face and smaller thighs. But apart of me misses those cheeks.

Truth is many like myself have hid behind our weight. Allowing us to be ignored in some fashion. We have adjusted into adulthood with the "ok" feeling that we would not be 1st desired in the room.

But we have done something about and we are trying to improve our lives.

I want to stress to you. Your inner peace will immediately reflect on your face. Come to admire your eyes, your mouth, your everything. Because in the end no matter how many friends, boyfriends, husbands are around shouting encouragment. We individually must believe in our selves.

Your beautiful Chica... and because of the vulnerability of your words - it shows your equally beautiful on the inside.

Just know your not alone in this battle

- Caridad

Caridad M.

Wow... you encouraged me too, and I don't I have a prob with my facial features... thx.

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Ha! That's cute ???? - your welcome

As I go thru my complications from my surgery. I just realized all those on this blog are dealing with something.

I know this surgery was not an easy decision for me and I have many feelings wrapped around it... as many of you

But at least as this blog space goes we need to continue to encourage... I know it's helping me thru this trying time for me.

-Caridad

Caridad M.

I don't care how I look... I'm concerned with always feeling like crap, trouble breathing, high cholesterol, apnea, etc. I'll take wrinkles.

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Back in my 20's when i was borderline anorexic i was totally hyper critical of my face. I was actually very pretty and had been approached for modelling on several occasions...but in my mind i was ugly!! I picked apart everything about my face. A therapist told me that "the closer we are to being perfect the more critical we are about ourselves".

This sounds like what you're experiencing.

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Lauraellen80...you are pretty!I love your face and hair!

This is also one of my major concerns I've always been over weight have always had cheeks and puffy lips I'm worried that not only with all the saggy skin I'll probably have and loss of my boobs that I'll also lose the face I know or it'll get worse .. I'm doing this for my health but I can't help but to stress on the physical aspects of it all

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Just found this thread and found it really interesting.

Like you lauraellen, I was a ballet dancer in my youth. If I wasn't the required weight for my height (98lbs) I was given s**t until I lost the extra pounds. We were never told that we were beautiful, facially or physically and that has kinda stuck with me until now. I was told that my thighs were a bit too long and that my arms were too short. I mean - purleese!!!!! Got hold of a copy of a promotional video that was made of the company that I was in, aged 19 in 1976. Have a copy to a guy who I am still in contact with who I had been at the Royal Ballet School with and who was then in said company with. He came back to me with the comment that he had forgotten how hot I was!!!!! WHAT!!!!! Forty years down the line and the guy that I was lusting after THEN tells me NOW that he thought I was hot. Hmmmmm.......food for thought, and something to put down to experience.

Now, I'm just getting on with growing old disgracefully. I'm getting out of my rentatent clothes and having fun. I don't wear much make-up now as it gets stuck in my laughter and grumpy lines but I can put on a show when required. I'm off out tonight and will be wearing black with a pair of red patent Agent Provocateur heels that are really a bit much for my age but what the hell. If the outfit works and gets the required 'tut' from another guest (retired schoolteacher, a little older than me) at this dinner, I will have got the reaction that I wanted!

What I am trying to say to you is - stop fretting and just enjoy being you. Give yourself a kick up your rear, (if you can find it now that you have lost all your padding), give the world a smile, hoik your head high and go for it. You are beautiful. Don't leave it until you are my age to realise that you were hot when you were younger. Oh my god, the time that I spent in front of the mirror correcting every little thing. What a waste of valuable living time.

Go girl x

Edited May 9, 201610 yr by jintycb

Just found this thread and found it really interesting.

Like you lauraellen, I was a ballet dancer in my youth. If I wasn't the required weight for my height (98lbs) I was given s**t until I lost the extra pounds. We were ever told that we were beautiful, facially or physically and that has kinda stuck with me until now. I was told that my thighs were a bit too long and that my arms were too short. I mean - purleese!!!!! Got hold of a copy of a promotional video that was made of the company that I was in, aged 19 in 1976. Have a copy to a guy who I am still in contact with who I had been at the Royal Ballet School with and who was then in said company with. He came back to me with the comment that he had forgotten how hot I was!!!!! WHAT!!!!! Forty years down the line and the guy that I was lusting after THEN tells me NOW that he thought I was hot. Hmmmmm.......food for thought, and something to put down to experience.

Now, I'm just getting on with growing old disgracefully. I'm getting out of my rentatent clothes and having fun. I don't wear much make-up now as it gets stuck in my laughter and grumpy lines but I can put on a show when required. I'm off out tonight and will be wearing black with a pair of red patent Agent Provocateur heels that are really a bit much for my age but what the hell. If the outfit works and gets the required 'tut' from another guest (retired schoolteacher, a little older than me) at this dinner, I will have got the reaction that I wanted!

What I am trying to say to you is - stop fretting and just enjoy being you. Give yourself a kick up your rear, (if you can find it now that you have lost all your padding), give the world a smile, hoik your head high and go for it. You are beautiful. Don't leave it until you are my age to realise that you were hot when you were younger. Oh my god, the time that I spent in front of the mirror correcting every little thing. What a waste of valuable living time.

Go girl x

GREAT post!

GREAT GREAT post!

I think it's very common for many of us to have difficulty seeing ourselves clearly, especially when our bodies are changing so much, and so quickly. Every couple of months I feel this way. I get to feeling frumpy and deflated, old or unattractive. I find it that would always helps lift me out, is doing something and seeing people who make me feel pretty, who is knowledge my beauty as a person. Just last week, I got a radical new haircut and color, then immediately did a photo shoot afterwards with full make up. I stared at those pictures for a couple of days, because I could almost not believe that that was me. I want to acknowledge the tenderness of this. But I also want to state, it is very unlikely that the people around you see you the way you do.

Told you I was going to raise the retired teacher's eyebrows at supper this evening. I did. I don't care if the phrase 'mutton dressed as lamb' springs to mind cos this old ewe is having FUN!!!!!!!!!! Isn't WLS THE BEST THING EVER?

9 June '15

Surgery date 21 Oct '15

9 May '16

(Why can't I get my pics to upload. They have on another thread!)

Edited May 10, 201610 yr by jintycb

your beautiful, don't be so hard on yourself.

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I look in the mirror and remind myself how beautiful I am, even if I'm not so beautiful face-wise. (I think I am, but I'm sure there are some who would state differently at first sight.) Point is, when they get to know me, that's when they see the real beauty. It's a process, but learn to love yourself no matter what. Besides, physical beauty is relative.

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My sisters had the surgery years ago and Thier faces looked like they lost a lot of weight. But as time went by the skin started to fit the face more like it glued itself back I hope that makes sense. You are lovely now and once everything has time to catch up. You will see a big difference.

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You are very lovely...I think you look classy and European....you're elegant.

Please consider seeing a counselor who can help you see yourself more clearly....don't dim your inner light now worrying about imagined flaws. You have fought the good fight with your weight and have WON ... Don't slow yourself down now. I promise a counselor can help. You deserve it!

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I have battled self hatred all my life. Fat, ugly stupid, sissy, fag, the tape rolls on and on in my head. I'm the only one who can push pause on the recorder, or stop. You have to do it over and over again. And in my case after years of therapy I still have that tape. I still have to consciously deliberately push pause or stop. You have to fight it and fight it. Rejoice in your weight loss and keep taking care of your body. Don't give up!

Some more:

ImageUploadedByBariatricPal1458956271.078664.jpg

ImageUploadedByBariatricPal1458956288.257781.jpg

ImageUploadedByBariatricPal1458956304.789167.jpg

ImageUploadedByBariatricPal1458956312.718760.jpg

ImageUploadedByBariatricPal1458956326.333085.jpg

Love all of these Inner Surfer Girl!

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