I don't know where to start so I apologize in advance if my story is not that easy to follow.

I am a French guy of 42 years old living in Spain (Barcelona) and I have been fighting with overweight my entire life.

I am currently at 280 but went up to 350 several years ago (for 5 ft 11).

I have been told my entire childhood to finish my plate, so no waste (and also the dish, so no left over, right?).

I am also an epicurean and enjoy food, cooking, craft beers (favorite one is from a US microbrewery) and of course wine.

I have been playing rugby for over 15 years so the overweight damage was under control and I also built up some muscles under my layer of fat.

I have been trying all kind of diets, the latest one was called Dukan diet (basically an "all you can eat protein" one) that showed up pretty effective (went down to 220 in a year) but did not help me with my eating disorder....

I thought I was arrived to a decent level and all the cravings I had were not bearable anymore, so back to 280..

I am a big eater. I have always been a big eater. I don't snack, don't have a sweet tooth, but I can eat a full T-Bone and still feel hungry.

I reach a point I can't get me food sick anymore and it drives me crazy to see I can't control it.

I still do sports (cardio and weight lifting) so I consider myself in a decent shape for a big guy like me.

I need a physical barrier to keep the wolf inside of me. On top of eating a lot, I also eat fast. All the don't dos.

I have been reading everything and anything about bariatric surgery. the book from Andy Butler was an eye opener.

I believe that VSG is right for me. I found my surgeon, and I was scheduled for March 22. I even started to post on that.

Then my life took an unexpected and dramatic turn on March 7. Our baby boy of 21 months passed away, My heart is broken since then.but for some reason my decision on the VSG is stronger than never.

I was also diagnosed with pneumonia (bacterial) on March 11 and today I went for another set of X-Ray after a week of heavy antibiotics. I am recovering very well, even if I still cough. I have been doing all of my prep op tests and everything looks good for my surgeon.

It seems I am a go for March 22, but still need to be confirmed on next Monday.

I want to be done with my life as it is today. I want to stop feeling tired in the morning. I believe I have sleep apnea even I never tested for it.

I want to be more active than I am now for my 6 year old daughter. I want to go jogging with colleagues, I want to feel comfortable on a bike. Aisle seats on plane should not be an obsession.I don't want to become a customer of my company that sells products for diabetic people. I want a new me. A new image. Healthier, stronger, dynamic and different.

Obviously I lost my appetite for a couple of weeks now. I am suffering everyday and I don't see how I will be able to ever fix my broken heart.

At the same time, I have the impression I also need to recenter my attention on myself, be a bit selfish and get ready for that incredible challenge that VSG is.

My wife is worried but supportive, my sister thinks I am crazy and my best buddy tried to convince not to do it. I did not tell anybody else and won't. I am sharing here because I believe it is the right place and the people that are making this community are an inspiration.

Everybody has a different story but the common point I noticed while reading is that there is a lot of respect in the comments and no judging.

Please don't mention condolences or that you are sorry for my loss if you post on this. I assume you are if you have a bit of compassion. This is not the goal of my message. I am looking for tips, experience, real life feedback.

I know I am on an emotional roller coaster and that what is coming will be huge, but at the same time, I am convinced I need this.

Thanks.

Mico

I did not make a list but I had several things in my mind . One of the most important ones for me was to be able to look after my little grand daughter. I don't think I could do that and be fun grandma at my original weight. I also wanted to feel better about myself and how I wanted my life to be. The clothes of course,, it has been thrilling going down into smaller sizes and being able to shop in normal shops. This op has made me a better person, not so grumpy and tired now !

I did not make a list but I had several things in my mind . One of the most important ones for me was to be able to look after my little grand daughter. I don't think I could do that and be fun grandma at my original weight. I also wanted to feel better about myself and how I wanted my life to be. The clothes of course,, it has been thrilling going down into smaller sizes and being able to shop in normal shops. This op has made me a better person, not so grumpy and tired now !

The list helps me to focus and I placed it on a strategic place (fridge door ). I thought it could be useful but I never end up in front of it anymore like I used to with regular diet. My first objective is to be there for my loved ones. My father died at 57 years old from a heart attack. He had the worst habits ever (smoking, drinking, eating junk food) and I am not following this path. Being a better (mood), healthier person and more dynamic is a great benefit from the surgery.

I added a few more things such as:

Running a 5k, 10k and half Marathon... for now.

Bicycle rides with my daughter.

Playing rugby again with veterans from my former team.

Riding a bike again (HD Fatboy of course ).

Diving (i used to but not easy to find equipment with my size).

Parachutism (I have to try this at least once).

Take the middle seat on planes without freaking out.

Being comfortable in swimming suit on the beach.

Going from beer belly to 6 pack.(long way to go, but I have a lot of hope since I've seen a guy reaching this on the forum!)

Prove to myself that nothing is impossible.

Another 5 am automatic wake up. Elliptical bike, shower, coffee and shake. Ready to go for the day . Protein lunch again, lots of liquids. I ate some avocado tonight. It went well on the sleeve. I am doing my 10.000 steps a day on top of the gym. It helps I am sure. People at work are worried about me as they see me losing weight and don't dare to ask with what happened. Tomorrow it will be a month. It is so painful and unfair.

I realized the reason why I am so reluctant to share my surgery with colleagues is that I am simply ashamed. Ashamed of having to do the VSG as result of the failure of all my former diets , of not being able to control my hunger and stomach. "The easy way out" as many people that did not go through this journey would judge me. Therefore I prefer to stay quiet and avoid any comments about my weight loss. I don't know if it makes sense or if I should be more opened, but right now this is the best I can do. I am so grateful to be able to share my feelings on this forum as I can express myself.

I would keep the surgery to yourself and this forum. Everyone has opinions, and many are not scientifically based. Others will be jealous of your weight loss, you just tend to get a lot of strange reactions. I told some people and now I wish I hadn't. Just tell people you are working out and eating lots of protein while restricting calories. No lies there.

I would keep the surgery to yourself and this forum. Everyone has opinions, and many are not scientifically based. Others will be jealous of your weight loss, you just tend to get a lot of strange reactions. I told some people and now I wish I hadn't. Just tell people you are working out and eating lots of Protein while restricting calories. No lies there.

I think you are right. No lies and no need to tell your entire life either. With the loss of my son, many people do not dare to talk to me anyway.

The best part of the VSG is that I can focus on myself and my progress. It helps a lot to focus on other things, since my social life is on pause mode for now.

I am very careful with my new little buddy sleeve as it decides for both of us what I can and can't eat and I certainly don't want to push or upset it.

Im with Kaitlynm on this one. I completely understand that you feel ashamed that you had to have the surgery to be successful. I was exactly the same. I have told very few people about the surgery because I do not want to hear Oh you took the easy way out. It was not an easy option, and I do find some days are harder than others. However I am very glad I did take this road, and I am sure you feel the same. Let them think what they like, you did this for you and yours, so stick to it. You are doing great!

Don't get me wrong. I embrace this change with all I have. That is the best thing I've done for me. It is just that I know I could lose weight on my own. I never knew how to keep it off though.

I just come back from my appointment with my so called nutritionist. We had a huge argument. At first she confused me by telling me to stay on liquid 2 weeks more when I am already 2 weeks doing it. Then she said I was taking too much proteins per day (90-100 g) to which I answer that first of all, I do sport and I don't want to lose muscle. Proteins give me the energy I need and I don't feel tired. I also told her I drink 2 liters of water a day, so plenty to not expose my kidneys. Then she was not coherent on the kind of purées and soups I could drink. Very frustrating. She recommended to drink plenty of fresh tropical fruits juice (yeah, I can take the blender with me at work). I asked her about the high sugar content and she admitted it was a downside but plenty of vitamins.... To which I answer I take vitamins and minerals everyday.... Painful and waste of time. I believe I will follow other recommendations I found from hospitals and doctors on the Internet. I left the room when she suggested to replace cardio with yoga.

I would like to share a couple of pics after on month total and 35 lbs down.

2 weeks diet and 2 weeks on the sleeve. Not to goal (still a long road) but definitely an improvement, at least in my mind.

Have a great day!!!

Lovely day in Barcelona today. After a 30 minutes elliptical bike session, I went to the natural history museum with my daughter followed by a long walk on the seaside and reached my 10000 steps. I tried some hummus at lunch and a cream of zucchini, asparagus and potatoes tonight. Lovely. No pressure on the sleeve. I notice that my weight loss is slowing down a bit and vary now every two days, and I am comfortable with it. I still lose some size even the days the weight remains the same. Everything is great within this sleeve journey!

Looking good there. Glad you are doing well. I have been in Stratford on Avon this weekend with my other half. Loads of walking and going up steps etc. no problem for me now !

Is that not amazing how things are getting easier when we lose the extra weight? I have been able to complete a "boot camp hiking" program on my elliptical bike and burnt over 1000 calories, on top of my walk today (intense as I went shopping in a huge outdoor outlet with my wife who is skinny and walks very very fast [emoji4]. Tried the blender for juice today and everything went well. Smoothies are just easy on the sleeve. I tried very red tomatoes and later on watermelon. Delicious!

I will have to give the smoothies a go. The watermelon sounds delicious

It is! Not quite the season yet but we were able to get some from south of Spain that were actually ok.

So it had to happen. My first mistake. I was doing fine with purée and smoothies. Then I thought that I could try something else. I was cooking a nice sea bass for my daughter and as the texture looks ok I gave it a try. I chewed very well did not drink anything 30 minutes before, etc. it went well as first so I kept eating. 3 or 4 tea spoons. Then it did hit me. Nausea, stomach ache, throwing up. Ok sleeve buddy, i got your point. By the way, I don't know about you, but throwing up post sleeve is a new and VERY painful experience . I used to be able to throw up in the past just by thinking about it . That is not the case anymore and the sleeve contractions are really something else. Bottom line is : stick to the plan. Learned that today!