Here is a good article about differences in men am women's communication styles and the importance of asking questions (and listening to the answers I presume).

http://qz.com/628724/the-gendered-way-weve-learned-to-ask-questions-is-terrible-for-both-men-and-women/?utm_source=atlfb

Interesting article. Communications can take many forms. One form is written - letter writing. Years ago, I attended a marriage encounter. It was a couple days of meetings at almost-a-resort in which the couples communicated by letters. The art of expressing deep felt feelings (both good and bad) in the form of letters, respectfully reflecting on the letters received from your mate and interspersing a few love letters in-between was an interesting approach.

Interesting article. Communications can take many forms. One form is written - letter writing. Years ago, I attended a marriage encounter. It was a couple days of meetings at almost-a-resort in which the couples communicated by letters. The art of expressing deep felt feelings (both good and bad) in the form of letters, respectfully reflecting on the letters received from your mate and interspersing a few love letters in-between was an interesting approach.

This sounds great.

We as a society certainly don't write enough letters anymore, but it can explain why so many people meet and fall in love on the Internet before they have even met each other in person.

I think this is one of those subjects that is just overthought, over analyzed, and beaten to death. I think relationships in general can be handled with just two guidelines:

1 - Do unto others as you would have them do unto you

2 - Say what you mean, mean what you say.

If you can't do those two things consistently, all the letter writing, therapy, and group hugs in the world will not amount for anything in the long haul.

I think this is one of those subjects that is just overthought, over analyzed, and beaten to death. I think relationships in general can be handled with just two guidelines:

1 - Do unto others as you would have them do unto you

2 - Say what you mean, mean what you say.

If you can't do those two things consistently, all the letter writing, therapy, and group hugs in the world will not amount for anything in the long haul.

I definitely believe communication is a skill and that for those who have difficulty communicating they can learn better skills, especially through practice.

I object to the basic premise that it is primarily a male - female division.

As a manager in corporate America I have much experience and classes on communication. there ARE distinct communication styles and not respecting those can lead to much much misunderstanding, negative feelings and poor "results".

A specific example, there are people who simply cannot "hear" a message unless they have received, absorbed and understood the details. There are others who really cannot process the details unless they have the big picture. Put those two together and they can be constantly frustrted and ineffective.

My job as a leader is to make sure that these two styles on my team both get what they "need" to be maximum contributors.

As it relates to personal life- not exactly the same - but it is the realization that not everyone "hears" what we think what we are saying is really important. Being good listener, a good communicator is a skill that needs to be nurtured. It doesn't need to be complicated.

I went on a dinner date about a week ago. I had a nice time, he said he had a nice time, but neither of us has pushed to see each other again. From my end, I felt like i had been on a job interview. I wasn't offended, but it did not trigger in me any attraction or feeling. From his end, he mentioned that he wondered if I was "open to love". I think what he was really sensing is that I perhaps wasn't open to being grilled on the very first meeting. As time went on, i was less and less interesting in filling out the checklist (it wasn't a physical checklist, but i FELT like it was a checklist.) In my view, this was very telling - I don't get along as well with the linear thinking engineer types - and he was communicating in no uncertain terms that is what his personality is. So, while I think he might have misunderstood the mismatch - there was definately a mismatch!