I noticed quite a few replies to many different posts being a little disrespectful lately.

Having a differing opinion is one thing, flaming or cursing someone out because they don't agree with you is another.

We are adults here and don't need to be "touchy-feely" and "PC" all the time, but respectfully disagreeing with someone (even in a "tough-love" way) is a better approach.

There were times that someone really needed a response that would have even the filthiest mouthed person want to wash my mouth out with internet soap (probably "Lava" soap, since it has pumice in it), but I resisted. Not because they got over on me, but I decided not to engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed person.

Granted, some people post as trolls and bait people, they are so good at it they are "master-baiters", but sometimes a non-aggressive response to them is better. They won't get the rise out of you and hopefully they will slither away back to underneath the bridge where they came from never to be heard from again.

No animals were hurt in the making of this post.

Edited February 14, 201610 yr by 4MRB4PHOTO

I am deeply offended by all you F$%@@ing F$%@s! The freaking STAR WARS theme by Cantina Band/ Meco? REALLY?!? Couldn't be Carry on my Wayward son by Kansas, or something cool huh? Incidentally, did anyone else try to sing the title to this thread? I couldn't figure the timing with the added letters. How dare the OP make me feel inadequate.

I am deeply offended by all you F$%@@ing F$%@s! The freaking STAR WARS theme by Cantina Band/ Meco? REALLY?!? Couldn't be Carry on my Wayward son by Kansas, or something cool huh? Incidentally, did anyone else try to sing the title to this thread? I couldn't figure the timing with the added letters. How dare the OP make me feel inadequate.

HOW DARE YOU. If that was the #1 song on the date of my birth, I would be HONORED. HONORED I TELL YOU.

And yes, I tried to sing the post title, too. You kind of have to rush through the "D-I-S" part to make it work.....

It seems to me that a lot of the posts where someone becomes offended, they seem to be looking for validation and permission, as opposed to someone else's point of view. I've a life long habit of looking for validation for the decisions I've made that has led to my weight and health. "I have a poor metabolism", "It's genetic, obese is just how my family is", "There isn't enough physical activity at my job" "That cake is just SOOOO good!" etc. That habit of looking for self validation rather than objective truth can lead to defensiveness when I'm presented with an opinion that stands counter to what I wish were true. Couple that with conversations with total strangers on the other end of the "Interwebby", and I can see why it doesn't take much for some to get their proverbial "panties in a bunch", when presented with ideas that run contrary to their own.

Since Tony Bennett has been named here, I want you to know that in 1964 I was at a friend's Sweet 16. It was in an old-style, glamorous sort of nightclub in Brooklyn, an unusual venue for a party for 30 or so teenagers. The entertainer was -- tada! -- Tony Bennett himself, in the flesh, live, right before our eyes. We all knew him, of course, but our callow selves were not fully appreciative. The show seemed to go on forever and we got quite restless. The adults of the Sweet 16 girl's family, at a nearby table, had a high old time, though.

It seems to me that a lot of the posts where someone becomes offended, they seem to be looking for validation and permission, as opposed to someone else's point of view. I've a life long habit of looking for validation for the decisions I've made that has led to my weight and health. "I have a poor metabolism", "It's genetic, obese is just how my family is", "There isn't enough physical activity at my job" "That cake is just SOOOO good!" etc. That habit of looking for self validation rather than objective truth can lead to defensiveness when I'm presented with an opinion that stands counter to what I wish were true. Couple that with conversations with total strangers on the other end of the "Interwebby", and I can see why it doesn't take much for some to get their proverbial "panties in a bunch", when presented with ideas that run contrary to their own.

That happends, but, in this instance, I think it's likely that the sewer-mouthed OP registered at BP for the sole purpose of riling and ridiculing people who are or have been unmistakably fat. It happens. I've seen two or three others who I'm sure were here just to entertain themselves and then slither off to search out other sites for displays of their warpèdness. (I make up words.)

"Let's have another party".

Like the sound of it , but don't know the tune.

Fun thread.... Except the ranting parts which we are all entitled to and which I tend to scroll through if they are not concise and specific.

Notice how much I keep coming back to yap some more? It's because I like this thread. It has the cozy, relaxed feeling of being in a room with congenial people.

Hey, is the bathroom free yet? Lots o' coffee at this confab.

Edited February 14, 201610 yr by WLSResources/ClothingExch

Oh ok. New site gave me "Mr Sandman". I DO know that song and it is a catchy tune

Good game babbs

@@Babbs

Jan and dean - surf city

I must have missed said post. LOL!

Great thread! Thank you, @@4MRB4PHOTO .

I'm so much older than everybody else, so I demand some serious
R-E-S-P-E-C-T !

My B-day #1 song was "It's Been a Long, Long Time" by Harry James and His Orchestra/.

Chapel of LOVE by the Dixie cups.

I thought that might be a practical joke -the Dixie Cups???

The general hostility rears its head pretty regularly around here. I don't think it's any worse than it was a year ago.

When I was preop, probably through my first 6 months post sleeve, I seldom posted here (was Vertical sleeve talk) because I was vulnerable and this forum just has a few more, rough talking people - always has. I was more active on the other sleeve forum site, but over time I recognized the value of the straight shooters - more direct approach and switched over to this forum. I am not so vulnerable now either.

When someone new posts, doesn't like the answers and the rest of the thread is about defending a "position" I remind myself that alot of people lurk like I used to. The sharing of the learning doesn't necessarily fall on deaf ears.

There is no reason for the over reactions but clearly things sometimes trigger a bigger reaction than was ever intended and then we have a way of fanning the flames....

I have no idea what the actual ratio of posters to lurkers is at www.bariatricpal.com, but I'll cite the well known "1% rule (Internet culture)," which says only 1% of visitors to interactive sites create new content. If that's true here, for every person who creates threads and posts comments at this site 99 other people are reading and lurking the things we post.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1%25_rule_(Internet_culture)

I have no idea what the actual ratio of posters to lurkers is at www.bariatricpal.com, but I'll cite the well known "1% rule (Internet culture)," which says only 1% of visitors to interactive sites create new content. If that's true here, for every person who creates threads and posts comments at this site 99 other people are reading and lurking the things we post.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1%_rule_(Internet_culture)

I guess I am one of those 1 percenter's - If I only had the money of that other 1% group.

Mack the knives by Bobby Darin.

Kindness is a lost trait in cyber space. Many feel entitled to say what they would not say to someone face to face. Cowardice