Hi Friends,

I’ve taken a bit of time to write my story as it comes from my heart and I hope that it’s helpful. Let me say – I’m here if you have questions or if there’s anything I can do to help.

LIFE BEFORE: My quality of life wasn't very good, although my health #'s weren't incredibly high, I just didn’t feel healthy. My blood pressure was borderline high but otherwise pretty much normal. Personally, I just didn't feel good in my skin. Clothes didn't fit right or they just felt like potato sacks. I was a size 24 at my highest, 260 lbs and I’m 5’6”. My biggest worry day to day was – am I going to break a chair. It was dreadful. I hated airline travel, movie theaters, going to amusement parks (size of the rides).

I think the part that hurt the most was feeling like a “ghost” in society. People really didn't make eye contact or engage in conversation with me. Maybe that was my own perception but it was pretty consistent. Let’s be honest now: my go-to relief when feeling stressed was fast food. If I forgot to eat a meal, I'd just run and get fast food. The problem was the quantity and frequency I'd eat burgers, burritos, fries and so much diet soda. So much soda that even my little daughter would comment about it. She was 4.5 at the time! I recall a day where I had fast food for: breakfast, lunch, a snack and then dinner. These were burgers and fries. It was just so tasty, fast and easy but I knew it was unhealthy. I just couldn’t find a stop!

I met my surgeon and instantly felt connected to him. I could be honest with him and he wouldn't judge or make me feel bad. I ran my "numbers" prior to meeting him -- I think this helped me justify wanting to do the sleeve and I’m a very analytical person. My numbers were -- how many diets I've tried and failed, how many years I've been dieting, max weight lost and then regained..... this all added up to spending 13+ years of my life on a diet! So eye opening. This wasn't a great quality of life! My surgeon showed me all of the options and spent probably 45 mins. during initial consult.

I read books about being sleeved, combed this forum to learn everything. When I was ready, I took home my information and reviewed it with my husband. For me, it was essential to have him on board and to be a key support. Everything aligned and I was approved by my insurance in about 10 working days. There really was no contest with a BMI of 41. I decided that getting the VSG was right for me. I was ready to make this life-long commitment. I had the mind-set that this was not a quick fix or a fad. My doctor recommended I lose as much weight as I could but required no specific pre-surgery diet, except no food 8 hours prior to surgery. I had no food funeral as I didn’t want to glorify food any more than I already had. I was also researching and really putting my heart into finding another stress outlet rather than food.

SURGERY: I was sleeved on Sept. 15, 2014 with a high weight of 260, BMI 41. On surgery day I remember feeling extremely nervous, scared and at the same time ready to open a new chapter of my life. Anyhow, the surgery went well and I remember having loads of pain meds if I needed them, using a button I would press and pain med would go into my IV. I had a bit of abdominal pain but otherwise surgery went well and my hiatal hernia was repaired.

POST-SURGERY: My weight loss was slow and I had several plateaus. I just let it flow and I chose not to obsess over the scale. It would come off at the pace my body was ready to let the pounds go. This is a lifelong commitment and I had/have the mindset that I would not freak out if I only lost .5 pounds a week or nothing at all. Just to be patient! I did have several chronic illnesses develop but I can't honestly say they were due to the VSG…. However, dramatic weight loss is a stressor on the body and stressors will make the body do weird things. Keep that in mind.

I had two instances where I threw up and I can say this was a complete learning experience! My food cravings slowly went from cheese burgers to things like fresh organic carrots… very weird, right?! I cut out the fast food for a year. I am at the point where I can only eat about 1/4 of a burger and then just toss the rest. It was definitely tough!! Learning how much my sleeve could hold, learning how to eat out and not feel uncomfortable, buying new clothes, seeing myself becoming "visible" to society again. Struggling with seeing myself as a different kind of beautiful..... getting the VSG is a lifelong commitment, you have to be ready for a complete rework. There will be loose skin but gosh, it's just skin. My biggest pain in the butt areas -- my chin and my belly loose skin. Ah, well.

FOOD NOW: I now spend a lot of time preparing fresh meals, going to specialty shops.... I have the mentality that if I'm going to eat 3 ounces, it better taste really darn good! I also just breathe a lot, consciously slow down when eating and just chew the heck out of my food bites. Ironically, I’m now reading a lot about food preparation and have taken an interest in cooking classes. Fast foods taste very salty tome. I probably should be drinking more water. I do rely on protein shakes when I need food quickly – like for breakfast. I plan to take fruit with me or granola bars if I’m going to be out running errands and may get hungry. I eat more like 6 small meals a day. I eat out at restaurants but typically take ½ of my meal in a to-go box. My go to explanation: “I have a small stomach” or “I will enjoy the rest tomorrow!” --- be ready for this… there are food police that worry about you. They mean well (ex: friends).

LIFE TODAY: My family has been incredibly supportive, non-judgemental and very kind. It is absolutely crucial to your success that you have a "team" to be your cheerleaders. For me, there were points when I doubted my decision (I’m being honest with you) and just generally struggled. As I write, I’m feeling pretty darn good – except for chronic illnesses that make things very painful. Food isn't a really big deal in my life now. It's just food now - rather than my stress reliever. However, when I’m hit with bad news, I find myself thinking “gosh, maybe I should get some fries”. I don’t act on my thoughts.

I chose not to tell most people as I didn’t want them making a judgement call on my decision to do VSG. I “blame” my weight loss on my chronic illnesses and people will leave that alone. VSG is such a personal decision – it’s your body.

After 18 months - I have lost 85 pounds and I’m a size 12. I have 15 more pounds to go. I have not been able to really resume an active, exercise program as I'm fighting 3 chronic illnesses (Lupus, RA and Fibromylgia). I have had to absolutely reduce the stress in my life and stop working at my lifelong career due to my illnesses. My blood pressure is now well below normal and I feel really good about how things progressed. I feel physically beautiful and I'm okay if I don't lose the last 15 pounds. I would like to start running when I feel better and also resuming scuba diving! :-)

I am all over the place writing to you and it's 1 AM --- anyhow, I'm proud of everyone on this site. VSG is tough, it's a complete lifestyle changer and we are very lucky to have each other. I am here for you and happy to answer any questions. Please know that at ANY weight, you are important and you are beautiful. VSG is a tool and you can do it! Please really do your homework, find a support network and breathe…. It just takes time. This is a life long journey and will take months, maybe years.

I found a before picture but my now picture only shows my face. I can't find a full body right now. Will attach more to my profile when I find them :-)

Namaste and God bless each of you. Hugs. -- Alexsis

Edited February 4, 201610 yr by alexsisv

Thanks for sharing, especially about the slow weight loss. I had my sleeve surgery on Dec 2, 2015 and have been watching the scale go up and down after a 27 lb weight loss. I feel like I went through all this and am not losing! I am going to try to chart my food intake. I just don't want to get obsessed. At the time of surgery I weighed 265 and in Oct.2014 My highest wt was 291. I was on a hospital weight loss program at that time and lost 50 lbs but gained 25 thus leading me to have the sleeve. Any thoughts on my gain at times would be helpful.

I loved this! Great job! I think you have a great, balanced perspective and have approached this as a journey to commit to. There's no shame in your game! Slow and stead wins the race -- and you haven't really been that slow at losing! You look beautiful, and I am very encouraged to hear that food is just food now. I'm hoping that is my experience, too. I'm so sick of thinking about food and having it control my life.

Anyway, you have done wonderfully, and thank you for sharing the good, the bad, and the not-so-ugly, really. Sounds like you didn't have complications from surgery, just other things that interfered. I hope your other health issues resolve sooner than later.

Good job!

What a lovely well thought out and informative post. Thank you for sharing your experience with us. And congratulations on your many successes, those already achieved and the ones yet to come!

Great story and you look beautiful!!

Thank you for such a thorough write up. I think it's great for people both pre and post-op to see all this and know that it is an ongoing journey. Just a point I want to throw out there, because my surgery was Sept. 1, 2014. We are only 17 months post-op, not 18!

Thank you! You are beautiful.

I really enjoyed reading your post, thanks for sharing and congrats on your loss.

Hopefully your chronic conditions will go into remission so you can take advantage of the activities you enjoy.

Wishing you a full and happy life, with your positive attitude, I have no doubt this will happen.

Alexsisv,

Thanks so much for taking the time to share. I am having surgery on 2/9. I am actually starting off at a similar place to you (5'5, BMI 40). I also have RA and Fibro. It sounds like the weight loss has helped health wise. I'm hoping surgery will do the same for me. You look great, and, more importantly, seem happy. Your post was just what I needed to read. ????

Well done!

You look fantastic and have a great attitude.

Thank you for sharing your story ????

What a lovely and beautifully crafted post! FWIW, I'm guessing that the autoimmune diseases were brewing long before you had your surgery, they just manifested during your weighloss period. How much easier to move a body that hurts when it's so much lighter and healther now!

Beautiful post, beautiful story, and beautiful woman.

Thank you so much for sharing your struggles and your successes.

Best of luck with treating your RA, etc. My sister has severe RA so I have a slight idea about what you must be going through.

Have you considered trying some Water exercise? Swimming, water aerobics, water walking, etc. I know that exercise is painful for someone with RA, but can also help alleviate pain, too.

Wow, thank you so much for sharing your story! You are an inspiration! I had my surgery around the same time you did (a few months later) and I am very far from my goal but I was much heavier than you when I started. My weight loss has been at a snail's pace since december and I know it's because of the choices I'm making. Thanks for inspiring me to get back on track! Congrats to you!

Alex - I'm looking for a person that seems logical and is geographically desirble to connect with.

I live in the same general area. Is there a better way to contact or connect?

I just created an account but can't figure out how to send an email?!?