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Edited May 20, 201610 yr by bellabloom

I liked looking at your boobs. ???? hahaha

There is an unfounded assumption in many of these threads that 'family' eating habits will change to suit our new found 'healthy' status.

That assumption will not happen readily & it is not up to them, but us to change our eating habits.

One of those habits may be hard but it must become NO!

I don't need or want what is being offered or as I often do with deserts is leave something else & just accept a small sliver of desert which is more than enough....

Weren't you just complaining about being too skinny and not being able to get enough food down?

I think that anxiety is much like nausea - ha - just the worst feeling in the world. I had kept it suppressed / numbed with obesity and later with exercise, but then, exercise stopped working. I wasn't anxious all the time, but frequent enough. I experience anxiety as the feeling that, whatever I am doing, it isn't quite enough or the right thing. I learned many coping techniques from someone who is an expert in this. As I improved I could not believe how much I got done. I finally did my home updates, cleaned out my garage, took care of that breast issue even though I didn't want another surgery. I no longer have that intermittent feeling of not knowing what to do with myself. Once anxiety is no longer the undercurrent, you realize just how bad it was living with it.

Problem I have is I don't tolerate meds very well. I get horrible side effects. After much resistance, I finally went on wellbutrin, but can only tolerate about half of what is considered a therapeutic dose. That, combined with learning from the counselor (and I generally hate counseling) has been enough to give me tremendous relief. Meds don't solve anything, but are a tool to help me learn better coping mecanisms.

I am fairly well convinced that one of the reasons people regain is people miss their self medication they used to use food for - to soothe, dull or otherwise manage something that has been buried inside.

We are all concerned about regain, especially years down the road. The anxiety, fear or whatever that lowers quality of life is the bad guy. A healthy concern is what keeps you diligent without obsession or fear or anxiety in my opinion.

@@WLSResources/ClothingExch Well, my saliva and soon to be my husbands blood if he brings this crap in the house again.

Love the image.

None of the eating disorder therapists here take my insurance. So ill have to go to a general one and hope they can work with me. I'm not sure I want to. I was in therapy all last year and I only backslid. I'm not sure I respond that well to therapy but we will see.

Kindle that sounds awesome. That's what I want- empowering therapy!! Tools and strategies, not being told you're a victim!! I'm going to look into your suggestions.

I got the impression from your message #6 that you have no insurance. Since you do, you're not eligible for free therapy, but your insurance may be accepted in some organizations' MH programs.

Kindle's suggestion certainly sounds worth looking into. Cognitive behavior therapy is something else that seems would suit your interests.

@@CowgirlJane thanks for your post. Your stories of overcoming are inspirational.

Weren't you just complaining about being too skinny and not being able to get enough food down?

As I said, my weight has stabilized now. I don't feel like I'm too skinny, I feel just right, as I said in my post. I'd like to hold on to where I'm at.

Plus. What people don't realize about eating disorders like anorexia is that it's very common for people with anorexia and bulimia to have major weight fluctuations and become both emaciated and obese at one time or another. The pendulum has swung to obesity for me before and I'm frightened of that no matter how thin I am because I know it's possible. People often think anorexics have steel control but that's not true. 99% of them binge eat. Many become overweight!!! So for me it's a feeling of never feeling "right"- worried about gaining, worried about losing... Anxiety and never feeling safe.

Having an eating disorder is a fucking riot.

Edited February 3, 201610 yr by bellabloom

Well my husband brought this home so it's a good possibility over here. Lord, give me strength!! I think he secretly hates me!!

Hmmmm - that looks like a Village Inn French Silk pie, I know it well!

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Kindle's suggestion certainly sounds worth looking into. Cognitive behavior therapy is something else that seems would suit your interests.

The Smart Recovery program incorporates a lot of CBT techniques.

@@BestDayEver Ha! Yeap! "Americas best " according to the box.

Just because it looks good doesn't mean one must eat any of the same or eat it all, does it?

BTW:

CBT is a positive way to overcome self doubt issues like the title of this thread is indicative of.

If interested [i have no idea of whether Group on operates in the US] but here is something worth looking at & following up if it appeals to anyone:

https://www.groupon.com.au/deals/dealbank_en_au/centre-of-excellence-online-1021/77303378

Edited February 4, 201610 yr by rastus

@@BestDayEver Ha! Yeap! "Americas best " according to the box.

Next thing you know, he's going to bring home the evil Thin Mint Girl Scout cookies. I could eat half a box in one sitting in a previous life! Lol

@@BestDayEver He better not! I doubt he'll do anything nice for me again since he got his a** chewed out for being "nice".

One thing I guess I'm sort of glad for- I dump like CRAZY from sweets. Today at work I ate 3/4 of a chocolate chip muffin- man I just couldn't stop once I started!! I almost NEVER eat sweets and of course I dumped so bad. Had to sit in the bathroom for 30 minutes ugh. I really can't tolerate high sugar/fat foods. It was sooooo not worth it. Sigh when will I learn??

I was freaking out about my fat intake but I did some research and actually it looks like it's spot on at an average of 35% of my diet. I don't eat many bad fats, all good fats so I don't think I need to worry about it. That was a relief.

I'm still going to try and get my Protein up however but I think I'm doing pretty good!

Edited February 4, 201610 yr by bellabloom