I don't know how best to tell the story properly......so I'll just throw it how there in the sequence of events as they occurred.

This is a true story.

There were no animals injured in this story.

There were no injuries had.....although I thought I was going to have to employ the services of a voodoo priestess to lift a curse on me.

I'm a Houston Texans fan.

I make no apologies for my fanhood.

I love a good defense and Watt & Wilfork are my boys. I've seen Clowney play live in a couple games and was super enthused when he signed onto my Texans roster. Now, though, I'd like to kick him in the ass. If he finally shows up in full form my Texans will destroy any offense.

They are currently getting punked out by Arizona. The game is painful to watch at times.

I made a pro-move to improve their luck a bit and grabbed one of my Texans hats....the old worn out one.

While up.....decided to get something to drink.

Getting some Water from the fridge. Hat brim pulled down low........I let out a long deflated and frustrated exhale.

What hit me next was was horrid. The smell. The terrible smell. Damn, dude......is your breath that rancid ??? WTF ???

Was this the ketosis breath that everyone talks about ????? How in the hell will I work around this ?

The only time of the year that I could possibly get some action will be at a Halloween party and I'll have to wear a Darth Vader mask and respirator.

I set my cup down and cupped my hands over my mouth & nose. Inhale..........exhale......inhale.......exhale. Again......again. Hmm. Smelled like Crest toothpaste & coffee. WTF?

Turned around and saw my dogs looking up at me. Sitting there with their own WTF? look on their faces.

Then the smell hit me again.

Looked down and saw a fresh steaming pile of dog crap two feet from where I was standing. Fueled by Blue Buffalo Salmon & Sweet Potato dog food.

I've never been so happy to see dog droppings in all my life.

No keto breath.

All is well........except JJ Watt has ripped his groin. Damnitman.

Oh well.......there is always next season. i will be going to Houston to see them play, too !!!!!

Unfortunately I had a similar experience and it was my breath! ????