I don't know how best to tell the story properly......so I'll just throw it how there in the sequence of events as they occurred.

This is a true story.

There were no animals injured in this story.

There were no injuries had.....although I thought I was going to have to employ the services of a voodoo priestess to lift a curse on me.

I'm a Houston Texans fan.

I make no apologies for my fanhood.

I love a good defense and Watt & Wilfork are my boys. I've seen Clowney play live in a couple games and was super enthused when he signed onto my Texans roster. Now, though, I'd like to kick him in the ass. If he finally shows up in full form my Texans will destroy any offense.

They are currently getting punked out by Arizona. The game is painful to watch at times.

I made a pro-move to improve their luck a bit and grabbed one of my Texans hats....the old worn out one.

While up.....decided to get something to drink.

Getting some Water from the fridge. Hat brim pulled down low........I let out a long deflated and frustrated exhale.

What hit me next was was horrid. The smell. The terrible smell. Damn, dude......is your breath that rancid ??? WTF ???

Was this the ketosis breath that everyone talks about ????? How in the hell will I work around this ?

The only time of the year that I could possibly get some action will be at a Halloween party and I'll have to wear a Darth Vader mask and respirator.

I set my cup down and cupped my hands over my mouth & nose. Inhale..........exhale......inhale.......exhale. Again......again. Hmm. Smelled like Crest toothpaste & coffee. WTF?

Turned around and saw my dogs looking up at me. Sitting there with their own WTF? look on their faces.

Then the smell hit me again.

Looked down and saw a fresh steaming pile of dog crap two feet from where I was standing. Fueled by Blue Buffalo Salmon & Sweet Potato dog food.

I've never been so happy to see dog droppings in all my life.

No keto breath.

All is well........except JJ Watt has ripped his groin. Damnitman.

Oh well.......there is always next season. i will be going to Houston to see them play, too !!!!!

Hey,

I'm happy for you and sorry for you all in the same breath. Happy that you have no keto and it wasn't you. But I'm sorry that your boys aren't doing so well.

I have to admit I had KC for this game. But I hated to see jj leave like he did.

I'm the football pool lady in my circle. I run one all season, and now have a square one going for the super bowl.

@@Dub First, have to make a correction, the Texans are being taken to the woodshed by the Chiefs. Being from KC this is an important distinction! :-)

I'm sure the dog poop experience just "piled on" to an already rough afternoon...

LMBO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Keto breath isn't far off from the stench you experienced, both on the field and on the floor.

Go, Chiefs!

Yeah, I was thinking the stench got to him, because I have the game on and it's definitely the Chiefs they're playing!

Sorry

@@Dub First, have to make a correction, the Texans are being taken to the woodshed by the Chiefs. Being from KC this is an important distinction! :-)

I'm sure the dog poop experience just "piled on" to an already rough afternoon...

Details......details.

Why sweat the small stuff.

Isn't it enough that JJ. Watt sacrificed his groin on this day ??????????

I mean....I've been trying to find a worthy cause to sacrifice my groin to for a long, long time.

Sorry

Thank you.

That last 4 quarters of football hurt badly.

The suck was strong in my Texans today.

The Cardinal-Chiefs laid the wood to 'em bigtime.

All I have to say at this point is Go STEELERS !!!!!!!!!

@@Dub

I do have PIT for next game.

And THAT IS WHY I own a sexy dude cat named Mumford.

He is always dressed for a dinner party.

He makes me beg for love an attention.

He is a Dallas Cowboys fan.

Most importantly he doesn't poo on my floor.

@@Dub

I do have PIT for next game.

Wise.

I pull for the Steelers for some compelling reasons.

Might be wise, but I do like this mcCarron guy. I don't care what team he is on.

Dunno why...but the mention of a football player named CLOWNY was my favorite part of this entertaining post!

I mean....I've been trying to find a worthy cause to sacrifice my groin to for a long, long time.

Hey! I... uhhh.... I mean... that is to say... well...

This is so funny DUB! Ketone breath will bring a 5 yard penalty ( your friends and dogs will stay 5 yards away from you) and possible fines , so keep it fresh!